


Don't Leave!

by illegalmushrooms



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Everyone is hot, Gen, Hunter Exam (Hunter X Hunter), I still haven't read the manga, I'm a kawaii anime girl, Kurapika emo boy, Leorio best dad, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, fangirling, im a big simp, leorio is especially hot, parody sort of, simping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 54,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24483154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illegalmushrooms/pseuds/illegalmushrooms
Summary: When I died, I became a self-insert in the world of Hunter x Hunter. I've got one goal in mind- and that's to keep the main four characters together for as long as I can. But things can get tough when you're a hapless pink-haired idiot with a stupid name who can't help but find everyone attractive.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 92





	1. Whoopsies, I died.

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wanted to write one of those fics where the MC gets to take the Hunter Exam with the main four, since I kind of love reading them. And at the same time, I wanted to write a straight out no questions asked self-insert where, look, it's me, doing cool things! The final prompt of this fic was me thinking what would happen if Gon, Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio never split up, and stayed together after the exam. This is the culmination of that.
> 
> I'm keeping this as more of a side project, since I'm way too dedicated to what I'm currently writing, but since I'm about ten chapters ahead in that I'll let myself indulge, just a bit.  
> And thus I present you my entirely nonsensical isekai-ing self-insert story about one of my favorite franchises :)

You ever heard of this show called Hunter x Hunter?

I did, but I didn’t particularly care about it. Sure, I’d seen Yuu Yuu Hakusho, so I knew I could trust Togashi, but literally what even is a show called Hunter x Hunter? Okay, there’s a clown guy named Hisoka who somehow has the entire fandom simping for him, then there’s these two little kids, and… what could be so good about it that warrants a 9.12 rating on MyAnimeList?

Apparently I was wrong, because here I am, a Hunter x Hunter poster adorning my wall and my brain fueled with an insatiable need to write fanfiction.

I’d always thought fanfiction was that stupid thing that tween girls took to when they realized they couldn’t realistically date Harry Styles or all of the BTS members simultaneously. Hell, I’d had my fling back in the day, when middle school life had thrown me so out of the loop I’d reclused into the world of poorly written Harry Potter fanfiction to fill that hole in my heart.

The point is, all these years later, and here I was again, signing up to these new sites- did you know AO3 stood for Archive of Our Own? Obviously you did, but I sure as hell didn’t. At least FFN was a little more self explanatory. ‘Illegal Mushrooms’ for a username was a stupid thing I came up in the shower reminscing about my dinner, and it took me a bit too long to realize that there were some very odd connotations. 

Fanfiction is its own world. First I had to learn about the community. Infiltrate the subreddit. Apparently people like to shorten “fanfiction” into just “fic” because heaven forbid you waste your breath on saying the full thing. Then there’s all this new lingo, learning to scroll through tags, and figuring out the stupid document manager.

But that’s not the story you care about. Honestly, it’s not the story I care about, either. My own life story is treacherously long, boring, and way too depressing. Even so, I didn’t really want to die. I mean, who does? Wait, don’t answer that. 

I also really did not expect to get Isekai’d, and especially not by Truck-kun. And I wasn’t even being heroic. Nope, I wasn’t pushing any small children out of the path of an incoming monster truck. I was just stupid. One second the coast was clear, and the next I had a giant silver vehicle crushing into my side and whoops! My soul is suddenly not in my body anymore.

What a shame, too. I was listening to Hisoka’s Kyousou Requiem during my dying breaths. Imagine how stupid it is to die with a sadistic, sexy clown breathing into your ear morbid subjects in a language you can’t understand. Well, I don’t have to imagine. It happened to me.

Damn you, Togashi.

Speaking of Togashi, where the hell is my Botan? I’m clearly dead. There’s a me here, and there’s a me about three meters below me, except no one can see the me that my consciousness is currently possessing and everyone else can see the mess of spilled blood that is the me lying on the ground.

Okay, I confess, that paragraph made no sense. My bad. My high school career had not been defined by books and writing as my middle school years had been. All high school did for me was allow me to fall into that deep spiraling hole we call anime. It’s been a while since I read a real book. Point is, I’m dead, okay? You’re smart. I trust you.

So there I was, waiting patiently for my turn to be isekai’d. How much longer would I have to wait? Kyousou Requiem had finished a while ago, and my playlist switched over to Departure! (after one of those spotify ads, of course). And it was Departure! second version. How much worse could this day get?

“Sorry for the wait.” 

Was my Botan finally here? I eagerly turned, looking for my grim reaper, but there were no blue-haired anime girls riding on paddles in sight. Just me, and a disembodied voice that was trying to talk to me.

“So, you’re Illegal Mushrooms, right?”

Well, I didn’t expect to be acknowledged by my anonymous pen name. Especially not after my death, and double-especially not by a mysterious voice.

“Unfortunately.” I replied to the nothingness. I mean, there was a reason that I kept myself anonymous- who wants to strut into work announcing they still write cringey fanfiction and post it on the internet? “Whaddya want?”

“You’re dead.” The voice said matter-of-factly. “So we’ve decided to comply with your wishes.”

Wishes? Hell if I knew what I wished for. I’d stopped wishing for things when birthday presents became Amazon gift cards. 

“And what are those wishes?” I asked the voice impatiently. Below, people were swarming my dead body. Someone took the earbuds out of my ears. Damn, did they pause the music? We were almost at the Tonpa song!

Say what you will, but Tonpa’s character song kind of bops.

“Self inserting. Choose your character, please.”

In front of me appeared some kind of hologrammed screen that reminded me heavily of the Sims 4’s Create-A-Sim menu. That’s the most fun part about that game, by the way. Who wants to watch a fake version of yourself live a better life than you do?

Anyway, the menu showed me a digital model of someone who looked way too much like me. Well, it probably was me, you know, with the situation and all. Luckily, there were all kinds of fun options for me to customize. Yay! Step one, let’s make my eyes a little bigger. Definitely slim down the nose. Maybe I can be a little shorter! And pull in that waist...

“Ooh, I can customize my name!” I squealed. Even though the disembodied voice had called me by my pen name, it had gotten my real name correct, so I quickly deleted that from the box. Nasty. “Hey, voicey-voice, where am I going?”

I was sort of hoping for some otome game action myself. Four or five extraordinarily handsome men fawning over average little MC me? Yes, please.

“Illegal Mushrooms, you have been slated to enter Hunter x Hunter.” The voice told me. Damn, okay, crush my dreams like that. At least I love Hunter x Hunter.

“And which version?” It would be bad news for me if it was going to be the 1999 version or the manga version, since I’d never gotten around to finishing either of those before my untimely demise. 

“2011. Aired by Studio Madhouse.”

Perfect! With this in mind, I needed a cool new name for me. In the few fanfics I’d read before I died, people tended to push really unnatural names on their OCs. So I had a few options here.

“Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way” I quoted cheekily.

“Is that the name you have chosen?” the voice asked me.

“NO! God no, It’s a joke, a joke.” I waved my arms and got back to brainstorming. I need something cool. Should I pick a weeaboo wannabe-Japanese Kawaii girl name? That would be amusedly out of place. Or should I pick something stupidly simple like Karen? Emily? Allison?

“Yeah, what the hell, here we go.” I typed in the name that came to mind and clicked the enter box. Below me, my real body was being carted away on a stretcher, not that it really mattered to me. I’m not too interested in watching the aftermath of my death. The sooner I can get isekai’d into Hunter x Hunter, the better.

“Have you completed your customizations?”

“Almost!” Just a few more finishing touches required. Like making my hair a little longer, changing it into a fun color (I went with pink- why the hell not, sometimes I just wanna be like Machi) and choosing an outfit from the many choices. Hunter x Hunter is pretty action-y, being a shonen and all that, so an outfit suited for combat would be preferable. Oh, speaking of action, can I increase my power stats?

Unfortunately for me, there weren’t any stats I could find on the menu. Damn. I really wanted to max out the charisma points.

Well, if I’m getting isekai’d, I might as well look cute while I’m at it. Tennis skort. Cute blouse. Knee high socks. And every OC’s favorite, combat boots. Hell yeah, I’m an anime girl now.

“Can I spawn in with any items?” I asked the voice as I placed my finishing touches.

“Anything accessible within the menu.”

Neat. In that case, if I wanted to survive the exam, that would mean…

I selected my special items from the limited selection, and pressed the very handy green ‘DONE’ button at the bottom of the menu. It prompted me with an ‘Are You Sure?’ which I said yes to again.

“Okay, I’m ready! Can you put me in yet?” I called.

“Yes. Name: Portabella Mushroom.”

Hehe. Might as well, right? I’m sure there’s lots of cute nicknames you can pull from Portabella. Like Bella. Bell. Bells. Elle? Ella? The pun was too tempting for me not to. Besides, it’s Hunter x Hunter. There’s weirder names. Like Biscuit. Who tf thought Biscuit would be a great name? Togashi, I guess.

“Special add-ons: Choco-Robots and tampons.”

Honestly, you really never know with these fics.

“Age: 13”

“Wait, what?” I jerked up from a sitting position. “Where did that come from? I don’t wanna be 13!”

“The insertion process will begin in three…”

Here’s where the panic sets in, where I realize I hadn’t actually thought things through, and this first moment where I really fully registered that I am dead, that the person I once was is now gone, and I may or may not have jeopardized my reincarnation with the name ‘Portabella’ and some tampons.

“Two…”

Everything was growing blurry. Uh oh. Here we go… Let’s hope the fics prepared me well.

“One!”


	2. And so it begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was not planning on updating this literally the next day, but I couldn't help it, it was so much fun to write :)  
> I've been playing around with tenses and decided on present tense for the story. So, the first chapter doesn't entirely match when it comes to the prose but, you know, it'll be more consistent from now on.  
> Thank you for reading!

Well, this is interesting, to say the least.

I’m in Hunter x Hunter.

My name is apparently Portabella Mushroom, I’ve got some shockingly pink hair, and in my hands are a few boxes of Choco-Robots and zipper pouch full of Tampax. Oh, and I’m sitting on top of a shipping crate in a swaying ship, and did I mention that I’m two feet away from Leorio Paladiknight?

He’s just as hot in person, I might add. Curse the creation menu for making me thirteen- if not for that, I don’t know what would have stopped me from sauntering over to him and throwing out my best pickup line. What a shame, what a shame.

I’ve immediately deduced exactly where I am, right smack dab in episode one. Kurapika’s there too, lying in a hammock with a book in his hands and his legs crossed, and I’ve spotted Gon brandishing medicinal herbs to a seasick man earnestly. 

Anyway, one thing leads to another, and suddenly we’re standing in a row military-style in front of our red-nosed and 100% tipsy captain of the ship.

“I’m Gon!” says the little greenie boy. He’s literally the most adorable thing I have seen in my entire previous life that I have to wonder what my reaction will be when I see Killua. Probably some severe hyperventilation. 

By now the tampons and chocolate have been shoved into the pocket of my tennis skort (that’s the great thing about tennis players, they know a good pocket), so there’s nothing for me to hold onto anxiously as the introductions continue. Kurapika introduces himself with his elegant, pretentious-but-endearing voice, while Leorio’s proclamation is the polar opposite.

It’s my turn now. “I’m Portabella.” I cringe, silently hating myself for such a stupid name. Even my real name is better than this.

“Why do the four of you want to become Hunters?” the captain asks, hands in his pockets. I panic slightly- I haven’t thought this through all the way- but then of course Gon steps in with his whole speech about his deadbeat dad. 

And then things spiral. Leorio’s yelling at Kurapika for honorifics, Kurapika’s going on about his dead family, then it’s Leorio’s thing on the economy and I just barely manage to squeeze in something about life goals before Leorio and Kurapika stalk out of the captain’s room indignantly.

I’m stuck between following and staying with the green baby, but curiosity gets the better of me and I silently tip-tap behind them. 

The main deck is a stormy mess, but still I can make out Leorio and Kurapika squaring off even despite the giant waves crashing around us. Men are running out of the ship’s cracks, pulling down the sails, while I’m just frozen in place, hoping the water doesn’t reach my skirt pockets because a soaked tampon is no use. 

I actually can’t hear the two over the sound of the water, but that’s just fine for me. I already know what they’re saying, it’s ingrained in my mind from my countless rewatches of the exam arc. 

This knowledge is also the reason why I turn at just the right moment to see Katzo, that guy from the first episode and first episode only, swinging from a rope and then thrust off the side of the ship.

I don’t even know what to do other than run forward as both Leorio and Kurapika reach for the flying Katzo. Gon dives off the side of the ship in perfect form, and Leorio and Kurapika grab a leg each. I’m behind them, helping the ship’s crew hoist the four back onto the ship. 

And guess what? Water does get all over my skirt.

When the storm finally clears, I stand awkwardly next to Kurapika as Leorio lectures Gon. He’s such a dad that it’s adorable and my little fangirl heart thumps wildly in my (very flat, thirteen-year-old) chest. 

“You are so thoughtless.” Kurapika sighs, arms crossed, chip on his shoulder. 

I decide it’s finally my time to throw myself into the plot. All of this time and I haven’t said a word to the main characters of my favorite show? But I take too long deliberating on word choice, because Gon says “But you did catch me, didn’t you?” and I realize I’ve lost my golden chance to slide in some solid lines.

“You two really caught me.” Gon says, his innocent smile shooting a damn arrow through my heart. 

“I helped, you know.” I mumble under my breath. My own voice surprises me. It’s a much higher pitch than I’m used to and simply screams pre-pubescence. Will I have to go through puberty again in this dumb little body?

More and more consequences of my own stupidity.

“Yes, you helped.” Gon’s addressing me? My heart hammers and I turn to him. I keep forgetting this kid’s grown up in the wild, he’s probably got ears like a hawk. “Thank you, Ms. Portabella!”

I don’t even have time to formulate a response because here comes Katzo with profuse gratitude all over his minor-character face. “Thank you, Gon! You saved my life!”

“It wasn’t me alone.” Gon says, and I have to look away from his face because I feel like it’s sparkling. “You were saved because of their help too!”

I’m not even sure if I’m included, since all I did was tug on Leorio’s hand as an entire crew helped them off the side of the ship. But the sentiment reaches Kurapika and Leorio, as their expressions change drastically and their eyes widen. Katzo’s bowing now, and even Kurapika looks a little flustered.

“No, that’s all right.” is Kurapika’s response. 

“It’s nothing. I’m glad you’re safe!” Leorio chooses, blushing and making a face so cute it puts Gon’s all-star smile up to the test. GODDAMNIT WHY AM I THIRTEEN NOW. YOU HAD ONE JOB-

I clear my throat, half-hoping to clear my brain while I’m at it, but the others seem to take it as me preparing to speak, and suddenly I’m put on the spot.

“Thank you, Katzo!” are the words that stumble out of my mouth, but then I realize that I’ve literally just thanked this man for nearly flying off the ship to his death. Wait, no- “I mean, not that I’m thanking you for almost dying or anything- uh, I’m just saying, thank you for bringing them together!”

Trust me, the words sounded just as stupid out loud as they look written down, especially in that squeaky tween voice I now have.

“I mean, uh, they were fighting before, but your presence really, um, helped them out?” I’m pretty sure that adding on to it is just making things worse. I’m literally right here in the Hunter x Hunter-verse, right in front of two of the most attractive people to exist in all of fandom history (and one adorable child) and I can’t even say a coherent sentence.

Lucky for me, each of the characters seem to interpret what I’m saying differently. Kurapika’s nodding slightly, and Gon’s still got that smile etched on his face. “Right!” Katzo says ecstatically, “I’ll get back to work then.”

“I was being rude.” Kurapika turns to Leorio in apology. “I apologize, Mr. Leorio.”

Now Leorio’s blushing, all like “What’s this all of a sudden?” and “Just Leorio’s fine” and “I was wrong too.”

Seeing this scene play out right in front of me reminds me of LeoPika fics I’ve read and I have to look away to burn the thoughts right out of my brain. This is doing me absolutely no good at all. Holy hell, I will not be able to survive Gon and Killua.

Oh my god, what if I meet Hisoka. 

It’s not a what-if, it’s a thing that is going to happen. This is all real. I’m in Hunter x Hunter. I’m in-

Gon has a cute little grin on his face and it takes every last unoccupied brain cell not to reach out and pinch his little grinning cheeks. Why, why do I have to be such a fangirl? This is only going to get worse, I can just tell.

“You said your name was Portabella?” Leorio asks me, and I ignore the way my heart is beating a drum rhythm. He’s talking to me! Okay, it’s not exactly my ‘real’ name, but that version of me isn’t exactly real any more, either. She’s dead, and what’s left is my consciousness in this pathetic body.

“You can call me Be-Bell-a” I squeak, barely able to articulate. 

“Yes, Portabella.” Kurapika says formally. Wow, he’s completely ignored the fact that I’ve literally just allowed them to use a nickname. Goes to show he’s as cautious as always. “I apologize for not listening earlier, I was preoccupied with Leorio.”

Not listening? Oh, so nobody was listening to me talk about my reasons for becoming a Hunter after all. That’s both relieving, and a little annoying. 

The captain chuckles from behind us, holding his flask. “I like the four of you!” 

I’m still surprised that I’m included, but I go along with it, because that’s just what self-inserts do, I guess, and I’m not taking any chances.

“I’ll take responsibility to take you four to the nearest site of the review committee.” the captain says.

“Really? What about the test?” a delighted Gon asks the captain, who turns around uber-dramatically.

“I told you, it depends on my mood. The four of you… have passed.”

I don’t know why so much relief floods me at his words since I kind of already knew this. Also, each of the three’s faces upon hearing this are utterly screen-shot worthy. I really miss my phone.

I’m humming Departure! lightly under my breath as the four of us depart the ship at Dolle Harbor. It’s still a lot to be so close to the three, like there’s a radiance that emits from them and I shouldn’t be permitted so close. I also feel ridiculously dressed- the anime girl aesthetic had seemed like a good idea until right about now. 

It’s hurting my heart, all of it. Every step in this brightly-colored world, every side glance I shoot towards Gon, literally everything initiates the fangirl alarms inside of me. It’s right about now that I’m realizing that Gon is taller than I thought. We’re about eye level, which sort of makes sense since I’m thirteen in this universe, but it still puts me out of perspective. Everything’s just so big and real, and I feel so small.

I would have thought I’d be a little happier about being inside of an anime, but really there’s just a gnawing anxiety. I feel stupidly omniscient, too, since I know exactly what’s about to go down and they don’t.

And honestly, I just feel kind of sad. It was one thing to watch Gon, Leorio, Kurapika, and Killua make connections and then split apart on-screen, but I was starting to be positive that watching it in person would absolutely break me. And what if I had to stick around all the way through the Chimera Ant arc? There’s no way I can survive that one, both emotionally and physically.

And I hadn’t even considered this yet, but it only made sense that I’d be spending the rest of this life in this universe. What happens when we reach the end? Will it lapse into manga territory, where I’d be totally lost, or will it just… end?

And… do I have the capacity to change anything?

I mean, I’ve read a few fics with this concept. A fifth, always female OC who tags along for the ride. And usually, their presence can change the course of the story.

Well, if that’s the case, I just have to make sure that everyone stays together!

That’s possible, right? If I can just force Leorio and Kurapika not to leave after the Save Killua arc, then boom, easy. If I can’t do that, then keeping Killua and Gon together at the end of the Election arc has to be possible. But what if the rules of this universe prevent that from happening? Are there even any rules to this universe?

“Portabella, why do you want to become a Hunter?”

The question comes out of literally nowhere and I have to catch my breath again when I realize it’s Kurapika, and he’s speaking to me! Is he finally interested in me? Me? Okay, well, obviously he’s not, but still.

“I don’t actually have a choice.” I offer as my answer, succeeding in being truthful and vague at the same time.

“I see.” Kurapika replies with a nod. The gesture is polite and formal, and he doesn’t follow up with any more questions so I assume that I’ve bored him. I’m remembering now how short his hair is in this arc. I kind of liked it a little better when he grew it out, not that I’m complaining or anything. Even just being able to look at Kurapika like this is a dream come true.

But looking at Kurapika brings up memories of my sister, and suddenly I remember that I have died. It’s like up until now, I haven’t considered how my death might have affected other people, but all too clearly now I can picture my sister, sobbing when she sees my dead body. And she never cries, especially not when it's related to me. We’d been feuding all of our lives.

The only thing we’d ever had in common was Hunter x Hunter. No, really. It’s like a drug, Hunter x Hunter. We would belt Departure! together at midnight as we waited for the show to start. We would send each other fanart and Hunter x Hunter-related videos. Even though I was watching it for the fourth or fifth time when I started her on it, every minute was just as enjoyable as that first time.

And Kurapika was her favorite character. Her lockscreen, her wallpaper, that choppily printed picture hanging at her desk.

The day before I died, we were just starting the Chimera Ant arc. Meruem wasn’t even born yet. Would she finish it, now that I’m gone?

Well, that’s depressing as hell. I’m dead, and there’s nothing I can do about it now. Might as well enjoy myself while I’m here. So I snap back into reality and leave my sister behind. I’m sure she’d understand. 

Leorio’s waving a little piece of paper, and the four of us are gazing at a large map. “You see, the exam is supposed to be held somewhere in Zaban City. Now, we’re here, and the tree is there, which is the opposite direction of Zaban.”

“Could you have misheard the captain?” Kurapika gently asks Gon. He’d explained about cutting through to the tree, so they’ve spent a few minutes trying to figure out what to do. Kurapika’s tone is noticeably friendlier towards Gon than it was to me and now I’m sort of sulking. I can’t expect everyone to like me immediately, of course, but I guess those fics I’ve read have given me a different impression.

“I don’t think so.” Gon shakes his head, leaving me to marvel at the gravity- or lack of it- in his hairstyle. I want to touch it, like I really want to touch it, but that would probably be extremely creepy of me to do so I lock my hands together behind my back. “He told me I should go towards that cedar tree.”

Leorio grumbles to his slip of paper, scratching the back of his head as he mutters about the notice’s vagueness. Kurapika’s got his arms crossed again. 

“Our task is to find the site using only limited information. This is another test to determine if we’re worthy of the Exam.”

I mean, sure, go off Kurapika, but Leorio seems a little annoyed. I smirk, so desperately wanting to drop in my intel, but still unsure if that’s a bad idea or not.

“I think I’ll check it out for myself!” Gon announces. “Find out what the captain was talking about.”

“Oi, oi. Are you serious?” Leorio begins, but Gon’s already walking away. “The bus to Zaban is gonna leave any second! We need to be on it when it does! Hey!”

He doesn’t even turn around, just waves and waves. Even from the back, Gon is so freaking cute and my heart is going to explode holy cow.

“Geez, the kid’s too trusting for his own good.” Leorio says, and while I agree, it’s not like I’m going to protest it because that’s what makes him so adorable. “You can’t trust everyone all the time. Oi, Kurapika, come back!”

Now Kurapika’s walking away too. “I’m intrigued by the captain’s advice, but even more so by Gon’s behavior” are his exact words.

“All right, whatever. See ya! It wasn’t long but it was nice knowing ya.” Leorio says to Kurapika’s back, then looks down at me as if remembering that I exist. “I’m going to the bus.”

He starts to walk off, and already I’m offended that he doesn’t even consider what I’m going to do. Just kidding, I’m not actually that offended, since he’s so hot. Still, watching his retreating back makes me want to tell him oh-so-badly.

You know what? I’m going to. Screw the narrative. This little teeny-tiny action isn’t going to change too much, anyway. I’m a self-insert, I can do whatever I want, and what I want to do right now is stop Leorio from walking away.

“Yo, Leorio!” I call to him, and he turns back around. I’m dazzled yet again by his face, because oh my god is it gorgeous. I have to remind myself again that for some stupid reason I’m thirteen now, so these thoughts should begone before they even enter my head. “The bus is a trap!”

“A trap?” Leorio repeats. “Why would you know?”

“It’s a common rookie trap! The bus never reaches Zaban city.” I take a few steps backwards in the direction of Gon and Kurapika, trying to entice Leorio to pick this direction also. “Becoming a Hunter isn’t as easy as getting on a bus…”

He makes his decision in a split second. “Fine, fine! Hey, wait for me!” Leorio takes off in an awkward run, breezing past me. It’s a tiny little action on my part, but I somehow feel satisfied that I’ve ever so slightly affected the plot.

Maybe I really could keep this group together. 

“It’s just, I knew you guys would be lonely without me.” Leorio says once we’ve caught up to the two. He flashes me a small grateful smile, causing my heart to twirl a few dances. “That’s why I figured I’d stick with you guys a little longer.”

I still feel like a hasty add-on to the group, but even so I keep silent. I’m a little scared to speak too much, since despite my ambitious goals of keeping this group in one piece, I’m terrified of changing the narrative too much. 

Summary: I’m an idiot.


	3. I think I'm too dumb for this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I, Portabella Mushroom, steal lines, learn vocabulary, flash trees, and generally make things worse for myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really fun to write, lol. 
> 
> I don't expect to write one chapter per episode, since that would make, like... 148 chapters, which isn't what I want to do. Still, these lead-up chapters are (probably?) important.
> 
> Anyway, next chapter we get Hisoka and Killua (and Tonpa!) which I'm absolutely dying to write about. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

“Man, this is one creepy place. There isn’t a single soul anywhere.” 

We’re walking down the deserted path to the cedar tree as Leorio says this, but we come to a stop at Gon’s response. “No. There’s a bunch of people here!”

He’s right, and I know it, but Leorio isn’t a self-insert so of course he gasps in confusion. A double door opens in front of us, and out of it rolls a wooden stage on wheels with vanity lighting that surrounds the rim. Then there’s the creepy masked people in long white robes who shuffle out and take their places, and the short old woman who sits in the center.

“What’s up with these guys?” Leorio asks, but no one responds. Poor Leorio.

“Exciting.” the old woman says, staring at us. “Time for the exciting multiple-choice quiz!” The cult-looking group behind her carry an instrument each and suddenly they’re clanging, tooting, doing instrument-things.

I try and hold back my laugh, I really do, but I just can’t help it- it’s so sudden. Now I’m crouching, and wheezing my lungs out while the three look absolutely stunned in place by this turn of events.

“Let me take a guess. You are headed for the cedar on the hill, aren’t you?” The old woman asks with her hands clasped together. “There’s only one way to get there. You’ll have to pass through this town first.”

She explains the rules of her quiz and I have to force myself to stand. It wasn’t even that funny, I’ll admit it, but I’m weak to laughter and hold a hand over my mouth the entire time the old lady speaks, just in case.

“Hey hey. Hurry it up, or I might answer it before the rest of you get a chance.” someone interrupts us- It’s the minor character who’s so unimportant I’ve forgotten his name. 

“So, who the heck are you?” Leorio asks, and I nod along because I’m a little curious myself.

“You don’t know?” Gon says, a little surprised. “He’s been following us pretty closely ever since we left the port.”

Whoops, I sort of forgot about that part, too. 

“Didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help but hear you guys talking.” Mr. Minor Character goes on. 

“What will you do?” The old lady asks.

“He seems pretty eager to me. Should we let him go first, guys?” Leorio looks back, and for just a moment, his eyes glance over me. It’s only a second, but it’s all the time I need to realize that he’s finally started to think of me as part of the group, and I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. “See what kind of question we can expect from them?”

Gon and Kurapika agree, and I remember that I should probably say something so I add in a little “I agree!” and duck off to the side to allow Minor Character to walk forward. 

“Let’s get to it then.” Minor Character seems smug. 

Quiz-lady asks the convoluted question about saving either your mother or your lover, and I watch as the trio gasp in anger.

“What kind of quiz is this?” Leorio grits his teeth. Kurapika lowers his gaze, and Gon looks like he’s seriously thinking. Minor Character, on the other hand, slams his hand across the answer button on the pedestal in front of him.

“The answer’s number one…. It’s not like you can replace your mom. But a lover, you can always find another one.” He’s all smug about it too. 

“Screw you!” I yell, completely surprising myself with my reaction. I know for a fact this man is just a minor character but damn is it annoying to see him, in real life, right in front of me. And Leorio agrees with me, indignant as the old woman allows Minor Character to pass.

“What kind of crap is that? There’s no way that was the right answer!” Leorio yells with a raised hand. “I’ve had enough of this. I’m gonna find my own way!”

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say. I mean, I already know the trick of the old woman, but is it even worth it for me to speak up? Since they’ll figure it out anyway. So I choose to stay quiet as she asks us our question, which turns about to be fine for me, since understanding has flashed in Kurapika’s eyes. He’s figured it out.

Leorio’s making all kinds of faces as he tries to work out the answer and it’s so endearing that I’ve lost all motivation to tell him the truth. It’s even more endearing when Leorio grabs a nearby wood plank and leaps into the air with the intent of cracking the old woman’s skull.

Okay, so yes, that might be the tiniest bit messed up, but he’s hot while doing it, so I’m not going to make it count against him or anything. Hmm, can you tell I like Leorio? 

All’s well that ends well, because Kurapika dashes in front and intercepts Leorio’s blow with his own wooden weapons. Crow feathers are flying everywhere as Leorio and Kurapika are yelling at each other, and the entire scene is so picture-perfect I’m reaching for my pockets, only to stop and remember that my cell phone no longer exists. 

Well, you know what happens next. The old woman opens up the real path for us, Leorio makes the very attractive move of apologizing for nearly taking this woman’s life with a fat stick, and Gon plops on the ground.

“What if that really happens to me someday?” Gon asks, all philosophical. “If two people are in trouble and I can only help one of them? Then what?”

“You just try your best.” I say, inserting myself into the conversation for the pure reasoning of wanting to sound cool. “You find a way to save both people, even if logic says you can’t.”

Gon and Kurapika look at me, as if they’re really fully acknowledging me for the first time, and I feel a rush of pride. Okay, I’m pretty sure I’ve just twisted a line from Senku Ishigami of Dr. Stone, but you know what? They don’t need to know that. 

Now we’re walking, and oh boy are we walking. In my past life, I wasn’t exactly buff, but I could hold my own in basic athletics. Of course, after I’d completed high school P.E. I no longer felt the need to drag myself through daily exercise, but it wasn’t uncommon to find me, earbuds in, walking my dog in the morning air.

Speaking of my dog, I miss her. I hope she’s doing okay, you know, now that I’m dead and reincarnated and all.

As I was saying, walking through this tunnel is torture for this body. Maybe it’s because it’s younger and shorter than I’m used to, or maybe it’s because I messed with the proportions in the menu too much. 

Either way, it’s a quiet trip, if you subtract the sound of our footsteps and my occasional sighs as my thighs feel the burn. And we’re not even running- am I really going to survive the Hunter Exam?

Leorio and I are lagging behind a bit from Gon and Kurapika. Two hours have gone and passed and we’re still, still, still walking, and oh boy are my legs feeling it. 

“Hey, Bella.” Leorio says shortly, and I just about jump out of my combat boots. Dear lord who allowed this man to be so hot? And he called me by my new nickname? 10/10, perfect.

“What is it?” I ask, keeping my voice level even though I am fangirling to the max inside. I’ve already decided that I’m not going to allow myself to fall for any of the characters, which honestly really sucks since that’s supposed to be part of the self-insert experience. But being a pre-teen again (yuck, I must reiterate), it would definitely be creepy to have feelings for these characters.

But damn, if I get to see Chrollo with his hair down? I will tell it like it is.

“Thanks for stopping me from getting on the bus.” 

I can’t even answer, I’m so nervous and flattered, that I just gulp and nod erratically. No, wait, that’s just making it worse, now I look weird. Pink hair flops in front of me, sweat springs into the palm of my hands, and my mind’s racing.

“You’re, um… I….”

God, why did I even try and speak? It’s all coming out as mush. I’m glad I’ve stopped myself, though, because I was literally just about to tell him that I think he’s hot, and that is 100% the wrong route to go down now that I’m in the body of a literal child. This is so stupid.

“You’re very kind-hearted!” I end up squeaking out, my face turning all red. Ugh. They need to make a self-insert handbook or something, I could really use it right about now. 

Leorio actually seems surprised. “Oh… you think so?” He’s smiling a bit, so I’m relieved that I haven’t weirded him out just yet.

“Yes! You know, they say if you want to get to know a person, you should see what makes them angry.” I say, very ruthlessly stealing Gon and Mito’s lines (sorry, Mito!). “You got angry at the test question, and you care a lot about people. I think you’ll make a wonderful doctor.”

Leorio’s eyes widen with the compliment, and then I realize my mistake- he hasn’t actually told us yet that he wants to become a doctor.

Um… oops?

Leorio scratches his head. “Did I mention that I’m studying to become a doctor?” He asks, genuinely confused.

I try and backtrack. “No! I mean, uhh, you just seem like the doctoring type, you know? Ha-ha!”

“Well, thank you.” He still looks a little bewildered, but my hasty explanations have just about covered my tracks. 

I don’t want to bore you with every single minute detail of that four-hour walk, so I’ll just skip forward to a little after the part where Leorio frantically jumps around in the air saying, “Guys, I’m so hungry! I need to take a dump!”

Oh my god, I love Leorio.

We’ve made it to the cabin by the lone cedar tree, and now I’m bracing myself for the first glimpse of magical beasts in this world. Leorio pushes open the cabin door- and there it is.

Tall, bright yellow, with sharp teeth and glinting red eyes. I know it’s not really a bad monster, that it’s one of the guides, but I still can’t contain the little scream that emits from me because holy damn, it still looks scary. 

“It appears to be a Kiriko. It can take on human form!” Kurapika quite helpfully explains, brandishing his wooden weapons. “They’re extremely intelligent.”

The kiriko takes the woman and launches out the window, and Gon and Kurapika run after them, Kurapika calling for Leorio to treat his injuries. I was originally planning to run with them, but the sight of the kiriko had frightened me to my spot and so I was a few seconds too late to follow them. Now it’s just me, Leorio, and the other man left in this disheveled cabin.

Reason number three-hundred-thousand that Leorio is hot- he immediately dives into action, taking out his briefcase and getting the treatment the man needs. I kneel beside him, knowing nothing about medicine but hoping I can be of some help, and maybe impress Leorio just a tad.

“Can I do anything to help?” I ask, watching Leorio adeptly treat the guy. 

“I’m stopping the bleeding.” Leorio says, “Don’t worry, sir, your wife will be okay. Gon and Kurapika might not look it, but they’re reliable. They’ll bring her back.”

Aww, Leorio’s so endearing, isn’t he?

As he continues the treatment, I stare down at the patient, recalling the first time I watched this episode, back when I was still alive, when I still had not a clue what the point of the show was.

“You’re also a kiriko.” I don’t mean to say it out loud, but um, oops? I guess I did. Leorio pauses, and the man lying on the floor looks at me, a little annoyed. 

“What do you mean, Bella?” Leorio finishes what he was doing and sits back. 

“This is… um, part of the test?” I say. “He’s a kiriko taking on the form of a human to test us.”

The kiriko-man sits up and inspects his wounds. “How could you tell?”

“Uh…” Okay, now what. I guess I have just ruined his trick, so I feel a little bad. “I’m a really good guesser?”

The kiriko-man sighs.

By the time Gon and Kurapika make it back, two kirikos and one kiriko-woman in tow, Leorio and I are sitting patiently on the front deck with the kiriko-man.

“You’ve figured it out, Leorio?” Kurapika’s face is full of actual surprise as he approaches. 

“No, Bella did.” Leorio grumbles. I bet he’s annoyed at Kurapika’s insinuations- I know I am. Come on, I’m literally right here, why did you assume it was Leorio?

“Portabella?” Kurapika looks over at me, sitting sloppily on the wooden patio, and his eyes soften the teeny-tiniest bit. “Excellent job, Portabella.”

“You can call me Bella, you know.” I say loudly, just to be annoying. 

Kurapika nods. “Bella, then. Pardon my assumptions.”

Since he says it so nicely, I instantly lose every ounce of hostility. Holy crap, I think I can see why my sister liked him so much, he’s so dignified and beautiful. A little pretentious, maybe, but I can work with that.

Leorio and I get up from the patio and move to stand in front of the kiriko family next to Kurapika and Gon. They’re gleeful about how Gon was able to tell them apart.

“Can you tell ‘em apart? Seriously.” Leorio whispers to both Kurapika and I. And for the record, I cannot. The kiriko things are literally copy and pasted into existence.

“Allow us to introduce ourselves.” says one of the kirikos, and don’t ask me which because I cannot tell for the life of me, “We are the navigators. Our family provides support for the Hunter Exam.”

All of this I know, of course. Since I’m all-knowing and whatever. But the others seem impressed.

“Man. Great job. You sure had me fooled. Except for Bella.” Leorio says, and my heart catapults. I think my soul leaves my body at the compliment because by the time I start being able to understand words again, Kurapika and Leorio have been cleared to take the exam by the kirikos, and now one of them is addressing me.

“Ms. Portabella.” I cringe at the kiriko-man’s use of my full name, but I’m all ears, hoping that they’ll approve of me. I haven’t really thought about it too much, but I suppose there is a very real possibility that I’m dumb enough to not pass the Hunter Exam with the others. “You have demonstrated, um, particular strength in guesswork and observational skills. It is clear that your acumen qualifies you to take the Hunter Exam.”

Alright, I’m definitely not smart enough to understand what ‘acumen’ means, but I guess- I pass, too? 

The kirikos move on to passing Gon as I rack my brains to try and figure out what the hell ‘acumen’ means. When Gon receives the word that he’s made it too, he holds up his fists to either side of him, and the gesture is returned as both Kurapika and Leorio smile and bump knuckles with the little boy. Awkward thing is, I’m here too, and Gon’s only got two fists, so I prepare to be the fourth wheel yet again.

But to my surprise, both Kurapika and Leorio extend their remaining hands in my direction, and Gon gives me a little grin as I bump fists back. I never thought I’d come to the day where I’m fist-bumping Kurapika Kurta and Leorio Paladiknight, but I sure as hell am not gonna complain.

“We’ll fly you over to the Exam site now.” one of the copy-paste kirikos say. 

Each of us are assigned a kiriko each, and oh boy is it weird. I’ve got my hands clasped around the bony feet of a slightly furry magical monster that somehow has wings, and we’re like a mile up from the ground, and I’m pretty sure I’m flashing the trees below us with a view of my tennis skort. The built in shorts save me from a true disaster, but it’s still… awkward.

And strangely exhilarating, too. Even though I feel like one wrong move will end this second life I’ve been granted, it’s pretty fun to dangle precariously in the middle of the air. Leorio doesn’t take it as well, though, he’s wiggling about from the feet of his kiriko.

“Bella, I apologize for doubting you.” I almost can’t hear Kurapika over the sound of the kiriko’s wings flapping and the nighttime winds. “Forgive me, again. You really are something.”

“Ah! It’s totally fine, Ku-Kurapika.” Damn, another stutter. 

In some ways, it’s not even like he was wrong to doubt me. I’m technically a fraud. I only know what I know because I’m a self-insert, not because of my ‘acumen’ (I still haven’t been able to figure that one out yet) or whatever. But Kurapika himself thinks I’m “really something,” and the thought makes me grin in the moonlight.

Anyway, that’s that. We’re moving on to the real exam now, and I’m even more terrified.

It’s… Tonpa Time.

Killua and Hisoka, here I come.


	4. Everyone's attractive (not you, Tonpa)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Tonpa Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have literally no self control so I'll just go ahead and update this now... as promised, we've got Hisoka and Killua here :)

Zaban City is actually a pretty dope place.

I didn’t leave my place very often, back in my old life, but when I did, what was there to see? Suburban housing? Maybe a McDonalds? Here in Zaban City, there’s a little something of everything that we’re walking by. Pretty gems and jewels, painted pottery, and I think I’ve spotted some shrunken heads, although I can’t be entirely sure. 

And it’s in a glass case that I see my reflection for the very first time.

I sort of could tell what I looked like from the creation menu as well as what I could observe by myself. Slender-ish, long pink hair, short stature, and so on. But catching a glimpse of me in the reflective glass, I don’t even recognize myself. 

It takes a second to even realize that that is, in fact, me. Or at least, it’s Portabella Mushroom, who is apparently me now. I look like the messy result of shoving both Machi and Bisky in a blender and then pouring that into the mold of a pre-teen fashion model. That doesn’t really make sense as a description, but that’s what I’m seeing in my reflection, and it’s jarring to look at. 

What the hell was I thinking when I designed me?

I want to keep staring at myself (maybe I am a bit self-absorbed?) but the kiriko navigator is keeping us moving at a steady pace and I have to hurry to rejoin the group. Gon is just as intrigued by things around us as I am, popping off every few seconds to look at a new stall. 

“What do you think you’re doing, Gon, Bella?” Leorio calls us. I startle at my name and drop the fruit that I was slapping (I wanted to know how it sounded) and the two of us scurry back. Gon looks over and smiles at me, and the pure expression on his face is almost too much for me to handle.

“Here we are. I’m pretty sure that’s the building.” We’re at an open plaza, and the navigator’s checking things over with his paper. Gon, Leorio, and Kurapika all look up and eagerly examine the tall, shiny building in front of us.

And of course, their hopes are dashed as we’re pushed into the tiny little restaurant next to it. But smells delicious inside and my stomach rumbles, because geez, when’s the last time I ate? I do still have those Choco-Robots in my pockets, but I was saving those for my top-secret plan. And I can’t eat the tampons, since cotton doesn’t taste that great.

We make our way into a back room of the restaurant, a small room with a circular table and some chairs. 

“Only one in ten thousand.” says our navigator. He’s quite dramatic, I’ll give him that. “You’re very lucky. That’s how many ever make it this far. Nice job. You did great for first-timers.”

“Thanks for your help!” Gon, ever the adorable child, extends his hand to shake. The surprised navigator shakes back, and he’s lowkey good-looking so I have to remind myself that he’s actually a transformed kiriko and I’m supposed to be a thirteen year old girl.

“I hope that next year, I can help you again.” Then he exits, leaving us four in this little room. The floor rumbles, and like an elevator, we’re moving up.

At the table, there are only three chairs, which is a bit awkward for me, so I opt out of sitting and simply stand in the space between Leorio and Kurapika’s seats after assuring them it’s fine. I still feel hella out of place though, awkwardly leaning over the circular table rim to try and stay included in the conversation. 

They’re discussing something which I won’t relay in full since, um, that’s a lot of words and typing, but the gist is something about how becoming a Hunter is a pretty desired occupation. I do also really like it when Leorio calls Gon, “My little friend!” because that’s pretty darn cute if you ask me. 

“Being a Hunter means making more money than anyone in the world!” Leorio exclaims, standing up for emphasis. 

“Wrong!” Kurapika cuts in, also standing up. “People become Hunters to join the world’s most noble profession!”

“Shut up, goody-goody!”

“Selfish money grubber!”

The fight’s actually pretty charming to watch, but there’s one problem, and that’s me. I’m dead center between the two, and their faces are leaning so close to mine that I think smoke is shooting out of my ears as I attempt to work my brain. Gon looks a little confused, staring at the two squabblers. 

“Hey, Bella! Listen up! And Gon, you too!” I’m surprised as Leorio grabs me by the shoulder, and ohmygod Leorio’s touching my shoulder. This is not a drill, he’s touching my shoulder. “There’s a list of the hundred richest people every year and every single year, there are over fifty Hunters who make the list. That’s over half.”

His face is so damn close to mine that I’m looking directly into his eyes and I can’t breathe, I can’t think, I can’t do anything because he’s right there. RIGHT THERE.

Suddenly Leorio is yanked away from me as Kurapika pulls on the spinning wheel on the table. Leorio’s spare hand was holding on to this so he whips back, and I don’t know if I should feel thankful or not.

“There are some Hunters, sad to say, who seek treasure and wild game.” Kurapika’s addressing Gon directly, but I get the feeling he’s saying it for my benefit, too. “But they’re second rate. True Hunters work tirelessly to maintain order in society as well as in nature!”

“Oh, screw that!” Leorio again, and now he’s facing Gon so I can quell my beating heart. But when Kurapika spins the table again, Leorio comes crashing next to me, and TOO CLOSE TOO CLOSE! I can smell his cologne and everything. 

As they continue to argue, Leorio and Kurapika are facing off, and it really is just like the fics. This group has been together for, what, a day? And I can already sense the chemistry between the three. If I’m included in there somewhere, I don’t know- but the bond that I’m witnessing is one that I have the strong urge to protect.

If I can have my way, Leorio and Kurapika aren't going anywhere.

The elevator dings when Kurapika and Leorio are about to pressure Gon into picking a side, and I’m the first one out. And if I thought my first meeting with these three was surreal, standing here in the Exam venue is a whole ‘nother experience.

The room is so jam-packed with colors and people and strange smells that I can’t even begin to unpack what’s going on. I’m stupidly excited, knowing that I’m standing in the same room as Hisoka, Killua, and even Illumi, albeit the latter is in disguise. Hanzo, Pokkle, Ponzu, even Tonpa, they’re all here. I want to run right into the crowd, to immediately pick out the characters I know and love, and it takes every ounce of strength I have to keep my feet rooted in place. First things first, first things first.

“Is it me or is the mood here pretty grim?” Leorio walks forward, briefcase slung on his shoulder. 

“We saw plenty of other applicants in the city, but these guys are different.” Kurapika says.

No kidding, Kurapika.

I finally let my eyes roam free, catching sight first of Illumi- or Gittarackur, as he’s known here. I do my best to avoid eye contact but I’m also wistfully envisioning Illumi’s stunning, flawless long hair. 

The next one I pick out is Pokkle. Then it’s bee-girl Ponzu, the only other female from me that I can identify. Still, no sight of Killua, and no sign of Hisoka, which makes me uneasy.

“‘Scuse me!” Gon is fearless and walks forward, but his greeting is met only with intimidating glares. 

“Hello!” Someone’s addressing us, and I pretty much jump out of my skin, because oh my god, it’s Beans.

All things considered, I’ve been handling things here pretty well. Reincarnating into my favorite anime franchise? Just peachy. Stormy ship and a near-death? A-okay. Extremely good-looking males in my vicinity? Only a few heart palpitations.

I thought I was prepared. Then I saw BEANS.

Go ahead, google Beans right now, and then imagine seeing that in real life. This man’s head is bright green, shiny, and shaped like a giant bean. Everything about this man looks impossible, and yet he’s right here in front of me. I’m sorry, Togashi, but why have you never explained any of this? What even is Beans?

He still looks rather spiffy, though. 

He hands us our number badges, and mine turns out to be 406. But the entire time I’m just staring at him, because my brain is simply refusing to understand what the hell I’m looking at. It’s like a giant jelly bean, or something. I don’t mean to be someone who judges others based on looks, but… 

Sorry, Beans. I love ya, man. You had to put up with Ging in the Election arc, so you deserve my utmost respect.

I attach my number plate to my blouse and continue my visual search in the crowd. Please, clown-man, please, where are you? Or soft fluffy assassin boy? Hello? Anyone?

“Don’t think I’ve seen you four before!” My hunt is interrupted by someone I instantly recognize. 

“Tonpa!” I can’t even stop the words from jumping out of my mouth. In a weird way, I’m really, really excited to meet him. He’s sitting up above, on piping or something, with his classic blue shirt and belly, looking iconic as always.

“Do you know me, little girl?” Tonpa asks, still keeping on a friendly facade and smile. 

“Umm…” Leorio, Kurapika, and Gon are looking at me with interest and I don’t know how to respond. “Um, yeah! You’re Tonpa! Tonpa the…” 

Should I say it? ‘Rookie-Crusher?’ Will this change the narrative too much? I’m tongue-tied, and Tonpa grunts as he jumps down from his perch to amble over to us.

“I’m a little famous around here. It’s my thirty-fifth attempt, so I can tell you guys are rookies.” He says.

I can’t believe I’m right in front of THE Tonpa. 

He goes on, explaining as he does, and I’m all the while trying to figure out if I should say what I know about him or not. Obviously I’m not going to drink his juice, no matter how hungry I am, but is it really okay for me to out him so early?

But Tonpa doesn’t wait for me to speak, he’s already re-introducing himself to Gon.

“I’m Gon! This is Kurapika and this is Leorio, and that’s Portabella! But we call her Bella.” Gon says brightly and gestures to each respective person. I wave awkwardly at my name and die a little inside. “You sure have taken this Exam a lot.”

Gon asks another question, and Tonpa points out a few people, but I’m still keeping my eyes trained at the heads in the crowd. Come on, where is he… 

That’s when I see him.

It’s only from the back, and I can only just about make out his pinkish hair that seems to defy gravitational laws. But his attire distinguishes him clearly from those around him and I feel every emotion possible rush through me when I see the heart and diamond shapes on the back of his outfit. 

I’m frozen in place. He’s right there. Right there. Hisoka, Hisoka Morrow, the hot clown, whatever you want to call him. I can see him. With my eyes. And-

There’s a scream, and flower petals are floating down. I’m horrified as I watch a kneeling man’s arms disintegrate. Everyone’s got their eyes on him, similar expressions to mine all over the crowd.

Well, I can’t help but let my eyes slide away from the man and towards his attacker, who’s finally facing in our direction. And-

“Oh, shit.”

I’m not one to swear, as you’ll probably have noticed. It’s a habit I’d picked up from the workplace as well as from the frequent babysitting of my young cousins throughout high school. But laying eyes on Hisoka for the first time, and I felt like he was worth it.

Because oh, shit. That’s Hisoka.

Do I even need to describe his face? Perhaps I’ll try and relay what it’s like to be in his presence, instead. For starters, I feel like I want to run over to him, but at the same time every nerve in my body is telling me to bolt away. Danger signals are going off in my brain, but the less logical side can’t help but want to go closer, to inspect him from up-close, to verify his authenticity. I’m feeling both disgusted by his very existence as well as helplessly attracted to, um, everything else.

This is the man who I died listening to. And I’m getting the feeling that might happen again, if I’m not careful.

“How magical.” Oh shit, he’s speaking, and just his voice is making me tremble. “His arms dissipated into petals just like that. And I didn’t touch him. Just be careful. You must apologize if you run into someone.”

Well no shit, Hisoka. 

A murmur goes over the crowd. I’m still trying to reorganize my thoughts, which are racing even faster than my heartbeat. 

“It’s that dangerous guy again.” Tonpa says, he of all people being the one to bring my thoughts back to earth. 

“You know that guy?” Gon asks, a little confused. Poor Gon- now that I’ve seen Hisoka in person I’m feeling the incredible desire to protect this cute little boy from what’s to come. 

“So, does that mean he tried last year?” Kurapika asks. 

“Number 44, Hisoka, the magician.” Tonpa says, his bushy eyebrows furrowing. “No doubt he was eligible last year, until he almost killed an examiner he didn’t approve of.”

“Then what the hell is he doing here?!” Leorio shouts. “They’re letting him retake the Exam after something like that?”

That’s right- Hisoka is a murderer. It’s even harder to look at him when I’m reminded of this fact. Perhaps for the first time since I’ve been reincarnated here… I’m completely and utterly scared.

I get lost in thought again as Tonpa continues his dramatic monologue. I try and keep from staring at Hisoka, but my eyes are inevitably drawn back to the fierce yet graceful man who walks off in confidence.

Oh, and side note, his waist is absolutely snatched. The devil works hard, but Bungee Gum works harder.

“Tonpa!” I say loudly, more to get my mind off the clown than anything. “Don’t you have some juice for us?”

Tonpa blinks at me and narrows his eyes, and I glare back. Hit me with your best shot, Tonpa-man. 

“A toast to friendship.” Tonpa says, digging into his side satchel, where he produces four orange cans. “Whaddya say?” 

“Hey, thanks! Yeah, don’t mind if I do!” Leorio is the first to grab a drink, and I’m the last.

“Here’s to new friends and good fortune.” Tonpa raises a can and we all clink cans together with a “Cheers!”

The others pop open their cans. I lift the tab with my thumb and make my decision instantly.

Splash.

Tonpa’s standing there, juice running down from his hair and his shirt. And he looks pissed.

Because I’ve just poured the entire can of juice all over him. 

I was aiming for the mouth- a taste of his own medicine, literally. In the process I ended up getting his face and all over the front of his shirt, but I’m still satisfied. 

Screw you, Tonpa.

“Oops, I must’ve spilled. Tee-hee!” I say innocently, setting down the now-empty can on the floor. Then I crush it with the sole of my combat boot. 

“What the hell, Bella!” Leorio says.

Tonpa looks real mad though, and now I’m starting to feel a little scared, but I’m already in too deep so I continue on.

“I just thought it would be unfair for him to waste his lovely laxatives on poor little me, since I haven’t eaten anything at all!” I say, but my voice isn’t nearly as confident as before. 

Behind me, Gon spits out his juice.

“Mr. Tonpa, Bella might be right. This juice tastes funny.” He says, his cute little face in a sheepish expression. Leorio spews the juice from his mouth, and Kurapika delicately pours his on the ground in a steady stream. 

I look back at the juice-drenched Tonpa, waiting for his reaction, but he doesn’t say anything. Actually, the look on his face is closer to that of pure fear, and it’s directed straight at me. Then I notice he has a hand clamped over his mouth, and I think I understand.

He actually drank some of it?

I want to laugh so badly, but I almost feel bad for Tonpa, who scuttles off with his other hand held protectively over his rotund stomach. If his laxative is really that bad, then even a small amount ingested will ruin him for the next few days.

Maybe I am a little evil myself.

“Woah, Bella.” Leorio says, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. “How did you know the juice was messed up?”

Kurapika and Gon are looking at me expectantly, and I have no clue how to respond.

“Uhh, it was... Gon!” I point at the green boy, who looks confused. “His face was a little off when he took a sip, so I, um, figured it out from there!”

The explanation doesn’t really make sense, but Gon seems to accept it.

“I’ve tried all kinds of plants and grasses on the mountain back home!” He says eagerly. “So, I can usually taste when something’s bad. But wow, Bella! You figured it out so fast!”

I try to chuckle a little bit, but I can tell that Leorio and Kurapika aren’t fully accepting my answer, so I pretend I don’t see the looks on their faces.

The four of us assimilate a little more into the crowd, and I keep on the lookout for some fluffy white hair, but there’s none that I can see. 

There’s an odd sound of a bell ringing and the wall at the front of the room rumbles and lifts up. All of the attention is focused up front, to one man with a very excellent mustache- it’s Satotz, the guy with no mouth, just stache! I jump up and down on my toes, trying to figure out how he’s able to talk.

“I apologize for the delay.” Satotz says, his mustache wobbling around as he speaks. “Thank you for waiting. The entry period for Hunter applicants is officially closed. So, without further ado, the Hunter Exam will now begin!” 

I double-check my shoelaces as Satotz goes on about the dangers of the exam. I’m not looking forward to running at all- I don’t know how long I’ll really be able to last. But I’ve got a small plan in mind, and it involves the Choco-Robots I have stashed away in my pockets.

There’s a sound of a door opening, and I watch in surprise as Tonpa creaks open the door we entered by and shuffles out. He looks in pain, like really in pain, and I feel both pity and accomplishment as I watch him leave.

“All 404 applicants will now participate in Phase One.” Satotz says. And then he starts moving. His form is so odd and strange to look at that I almost forget I need to walk, too.

The walking soon turns into running, and I’m hating every single second of it. If I thought the walk up to the cedar tree was bad, this is a hundred times worse. Within a few minutes, I’m already out of breath and lagging a bit behind. 

“Keep running, pal! I’m right behind ya!” Leorio says. I know he’s directing it towards Satotz, but even just hearing the words from him motivates me to keep running. 

And two hours later, I’m literally about to die.

I’m huffing. Puffing. It takes every last ounce of my strength to stay close to the trio, and even so, I’m moving at a terribly uneven pace. I’m also pretty sure my face is redder than a tomato, and my breaths are raspy and short. I don’t think I can keep this up any longer. No, I’m positive that I can’t keep this up.

People have dropped out already, lying on the floor in exhaustion, and I am so close to joining them. The only thing keeping me going is the knowledge that soon I’ll get to see Killua. Every step is an enormous effort, but with Killua in mind, I could probably accomplish anything.

Leorio’s also starting to look fatigued. Compared to the others, we’re both a mess, although I am more so. 

And then Killua rolls by. 

Tears leak out of my eyes when I see him, and it’s like my brain is blocking out everything else. 

I thought Gon was cute.

But Killua is something else.

Killua is the absolute most precious thing I’ve ever seen in my entire existence. I cannot fathom his snowy hair, his pale skin, his cat-like blue eyes, and his fresh fit. It takes monumental self-control not to launch myself at him and hug him until he can’t breathe. 

Gon runs up to us, and I get to see the moment myself. The moment that Gon and Killua look at each other for the first time, the moment that Killua says, “Hey, how old are you?” and Gon replies back “I’m twelve.”

I get to see Killua’s adorable face when he hears this, and watch him kick off from the skateboard. I get to hear him say, “I think I’ll run for a little while.”

“I’m Killua.”

“I’m Gon!”

I think, if I get killed right now, I’ll have died happy.


	5. More running and I throw a tampon at Hisoka.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly what the chapter title says- more running and I throw a tampon at Hisoka.

“Ki- Killua! Wait! Please!”

I’m panting so desperately now from all of this running. I probably smell terrible, too- sweat’s soaking through just about everything, and my hair is a mess that falls down in front of me every few seconds, blocking my view with damp pink strands.

Killua, who’s running with Gon, only turns his head slightly to look at me. Then he turns back around, obviously concluding that I’m not worth his time.

I mean, I knew Killua wasn’t the greatest to females, but really?

“Killua!” I say again, trying to be loud but not having the energy to emit anything more than a little squeak. I’m pumping my arms as fast as I possibly can in an effort to catch up to the two boys, but they’re just too fast for me. “Please!”

“No thanks.” He says impolitely, not bothering to look back this time.

But Gon’s with him, and he turns back to me and smiles. “What is it, Bella?”

Killua finally looks at me, apparently only interested because Gon is. Now that I have his attention, I shove a hand in my skirt pocket and yank out the boxes of Choco-Robots. The boxes are a little smushed, but I can only hope that the insides are okay. 

“A trade!” I pant, holding up the boxes for Killua to see. “Will you let me use your skateboard for these?”

Killua stares at me, then stares at the chocolate. 

“Not interested.” 

And just like that, my heart shatters. There goes my secret plan.

But Gon is looking interested at the chocolate. “What are those?”

“Choc- Choco-robots!” I gasp. I’m not going to be able to keep moving for much longer. If Killua won’t agree to lend me his skateboard, I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it to the end, and that would suck big-time. Don’t self-inserts usually breeze through the tests in the Hunter Exam? Why is it so hard for me?

“Oh? What are they?” Gon asks.

“Chocolate?” I’m not even sure myself- I haven’t opened any of them and I can’t remember what they looked like in the anime. But I continue holding them out, silently pleading with the universe.

“Fine.” Killua says after a moment, and slows his pace so I can catch up. He shoves the skateboard into my hands- it’s heavier than it looks, and I barely manage to catch it without toppling over. Then he snatches the chocolate out of my hands. “Gon, want one?” 

“Ah, really?” Gon says, his eyes sparkling. 

“Let’s race. Whoever gets to the end first gets them.” Killua shoves the chocolate boxes into his pockets, then turns to me. “You’ll return my skateboard.”

He says it more as a command, his pretty eyes arched dangerously. But I’m just thanking my lucky stars that he’s given me the board. This must be the true power of the self-insert: the magic of persuasion.

I’m lucky the tunnel floor is as smooth as it is, because I’m incredibly clumsy on the board, wobbling to and fro since I’m not yet used to the balance of my new body. I’m glad that I still remember how to skateboard, though, and eventually I get things so I’m rolling along, pacing a little behind Killua. 

I also sort out my hair problem- I unwrap two of the tampons from my stash and tie the strings together, using the final product as a makeshift hair tie. Sure, it’s silly, and now I’ve got unused tampons just sitting in my hair, but I’m pretty sure most of the guys here don’t even know what they are, so I’m not too bothered.

More time passes, although it’s hard to tell how long we’ve been running. Some applicants are throwing me dirty looks as I weave through them on Killua’s board. Sorry not sorry, suckers. I’m here to stay.

In an effort not to bore you, I’ll quickly summarize the major events that happen as I cruise through the tunnel on the board. 

\- At one point, Leorio’s dragging his feet on the ground, drifting away from the group. His briefcase hits the ground, and he comes to a complete stop, panting. Since I don’t like seeing him in such a pathetic state (not that Leorio could ever be unattractive, but still…) I cup my hands over my mouth and cheer “Go, go, Leorio!” And yes, I sound completely and utterly stupid since I’m the only one, but it works, and he’s back on his feet and running like his life depends on it.

\- They aren’t kidding when they say Killua’s footsteps are silent: I can hear Gon’s boots hitting the floor, and I can hear the sounds of hundreds of other candidates marching forward, but Killua is like a snake or something.

\- I pass by Hisoka once, and I think he sees me, because my heart sinks to the bottom of my stomach and I go completely red. Shit. 

\- When we get to the staircase near the end of the tunnel, I try to give Killua back his board, since he hasn’t been seeming too happy about letting me borrow it. But instead of accepting, he shoves his hands in his pockets and tells me, “You can carry it.” 

\- The staircase is even worse than the running, and it’s not any better that I have Killua’s skateboard tucked uncomfortably under my arm. While it’s hard to remember this soft boy is a hardcore assassin, I do definitely think this guy is trolling me. Any niceness he might have shown was probably only because of my connection to Gon.

\- Killua’s hair looks mesmerizingly soft, and if I don’t get to touch it at least once during my self-insert experience I will protest.

\- Leorio is SHIRTLESS. Yes, he is shirtless, and that’s probably the best motivator that sends me charging up the stairs so I can get closer to him.

\- A little reminder that Leorio is a teenager.

Anyway, the amount of relief that I feel when I finally reach the top of the staircase is immeasurable. I’m far from the first- there’s plenty of applicants who have beaten me- but I stumble over to Gon, Killua, Leorio, and Kurapika.

“Hey, Bella!” Gon says by way of greeting. I don’t have any response, just shove the skateboard back to Killua and collapse on the ground. Leorio’s next to me, still shirtless, I might add, but I’m all out of energy to fully appreciate it. 

“Thanks for lending me your skateboard, Ki- Killua.” I can’t say his name without stuttering.

“Hm?” Killua says, looking over at me. Then he lifts the boxes of Choco-Robots I gave him. “It was a trade.”

Um, okay?

Killua hands one of the boxes to Gon (“We tied” is what he says), and then opens his own eagerly. There’s a little robot inside, apparently, and Killua really looks like a kid as he dangles the toy robot in the air. 

As the two little boys munch down on the chocolate, I take in my surroundings. Swindler’s Swamp, if I remember correctly. The air is foggy and dense, and it’s hard to make out very much. 

Satotz is helpfully monologuing to us about Swindler’s Swamp, although I don’t really pay attention because I’m distracted by Hisoka. I don’t want to get caught staring at him, but also, how can I not look? He’s just so compelling, and I hate it. 

I also have a lovely view of shirtless Leorio, who I’m paying more attention to as the first trick of Swindler’s Swamp occurs: you know, that thing with the monkey that looks like Satotz? 

And I swear to you that I can hear Hisoka’s drum theme in my head when his playing cards go flying, puncturing into the impostors and rendering them unconscious. Now the clown himself is flicking the cards back and forth in his hands, and I can’t focus on what he’s saying because oh my god his face his face his voice his voice-!

No, this will not do. If I spend my entire time ogling Hisoka and the others like this, I’ll be a failure of a self-insert. What I need to be doing is showing off how badass I am to the main four so that they’ll accept me as part of their group and, boom, mission accomplished.

Well, partly. The whole mission is supposed to be “keeping the group together” but I haven’t really thought that far ahead on how exactly I’m going to do that. And I’m not exactly a badass, either- more like flat-out pathetic. My hair is literally being tied back using tampons right now.

Anyway, everyone’s moving now, so I have to get up from my safe place on the ground and figure out how to work my legs again. The fog is really dense, and while my goal was to stay next to Gon and Killua, I end up drifting back near Leorio and Kurapika. I know I’ve been a little too Leorio-focused up until now, but I will say that Kurapika really is stunning too, especially when he’s shed his blue outfit thing.

It’s quite hard to run on the sloshy and muddy ground, and the fog is extremely thick so I’m not even sure where or what I’m stepping on. All I know is that I’ve got to keep an eye on Leorio and Kurapika, and keep moving forward.

“Leorio! Kurapika! Bella!” It’s Gon, his voice emanating somewhere from the fog. “Killua says it’s better to move to the front!”

“Stupid! If I could go any faster, I’d be at the front for sure!” Leorio calls back in response. But I’m glad that we’re not running any faster, otherwise I would be left behind for sure. 

“You and Killua go ahead, Gon!” I yell into the fog. “We’ll be fine!”

We keep on going (there’s been a lot of running recently, and I absolutely despise it, because my legs are literally killing me) until giant strawberries appear in the fog in front of us. Nope, never mind, they aren’t just strawberries- it’s a freaking giant tortoise-looking dinosaur monster that has strawberries skewered onto its shell. I almost scream as the turtle grabs one of the applicants in its mouth. Geez.

So, everyone runs away screaming, as you would do when you see a giant man-eating tortoise. I’m about to make a break for it too, until I realize Leorio and Kurapika aren’t moving. 

Multiple tortoises are surrounding us, and the next thing I know Leorio is dangling in the air, holding on for dear life to a piece of wood lodged in one of the tortoise’s mouths. He’s being swung back and forth in the air, and as much as I want to be worried for him, I do think he looks very strong and attractive right now, you know?

And Kurapika’s super cool too, since he jumps high into the air with his wooden sticks and stabs the tortoise right in the eye. Leorio falls to the ground with an “ouch!” and Kurapika, like a cat, lands gracefully on his feet. 

I run to help Leorio off the ground since I’ve been pretty useless so far, and the adrenaline that I feel just by touching his hand to help him up makes me feel absolutely pathetic. Oh well, this isn’t the time for that- the three of us run for it into the thick fog. 

“We’ve totally lost track of the others.” Kurapika says once we’ve been running for a while through the trees. 

“Which way should we go?” Leorio asks.

But I can’t reply, because through the fog ahead of us I’ve made out a familiar shape.

“Stop.” Leorio says, extending his arms out on either side. The three of us intensely look forward, and oh holy shit it’s Hisoka. 

He’s surrounded by a circle of guys who are holding out sticks, but of course Hisoka looks unfazed. I’m mesmerized as I watch him lift a playing card, and then, in one smooth motion, incapacitate every single one of his attackers, who slump to the grass in unison. 

“Alright.” Hisoka’s eyes slide over to where the three of us are standing. “Do you guys want to play the examiner game too?”

“Hell yeah!” I say it as a joke, really, but it comes out louder than I thought it would. Hisoka’s lips curve into a creepy smile and he starts walking towards us and now I’m regretting everything. Oh god, did he hear me? Why the hell did I say that?

“Leorio. Bella.” Kurapika mumbles. “Wait for my signal and we’ll run in different directions.”

“What?” Leorio turns, but there’s no stopping the slowly advancing Hisoka. 

“We are no match for him when it comes to fighting.” Kurapika explains. “Even with the two- well, the three- of us, we’re unlikely to win. We don’t have what it takes.”

What he’s saying makes complete and perfect sense, and I 100% agree with him.

But how come I don’t want to run?

“Now!”

Leorio and Kurapika bolt off in different directions. But I haven’t followed suit- I’m still standing here, and now I’m all alone and facing Hisoka.

Nothing could have prepared me for this moment. No amount of Hunter x Hunter fics, fanart, anything- none of it compares to standing just a few feet away from the man himself, who has a playing card readied in his hand and is staring directly at me. 

“A very smart choice, to run away.” Hisoka says, with that creepy, seductive smile on his face. “Now tell me, why are you still here?”

I can’t handle this, and my legs start shaking badly. What do I have to defend myself? My hand reaches for my skirt pockets, but it's a lost cause, because all I come up with is a plastic-wrapped tampon. 

“Hisoka.” I point the tampon wrapper at him like it’s a sword or maybe a gun, I don’t know. I don’t think I’m running on common sense right now. “You- You’re- I-”

I’ve done stupid things in my past. But not even that time I tried to use a metal fork to pry the bread out of my toaster can compare to the absolute stupidity of what I do next.

I chuck the tampon as hard as I can in his direction. 

Since it’s only a tampon, Hisoka doesn’t even bother to dodge it. The plastic wrapper lamely hits him on the chest and then slides pathetically to the ground. I gulp, because what the hell do I do now, after I’ve just thrown a tampon at THE Hisoka?

“Oh?” Hisoka says, and takes a step forward. The tampon gets lost underneath one of his clown shoes. But before he can say anything else, I hear Leorio from behind me.

“I can’t do it.” I whip my head around, my brain at least partially coming back to me at the sound of his voice. “I can’t bring myself to run away. I’m not that kind of person. Step away from Bella.”

If it was any other time, I might have fangirled at how heroic Leorio is being in this very moment, but now isn’t that time, because all I can think about is running away from the godforsaken clown man. Leorio charges forward, holding out his wooden plank, but Hisoka doesn’t move an inch, hand still on his waist. 

“I like that look on your face.” 

When Leorio brings the wood down on Hisoka, he disappears, like a puff of smoke. I can’t really see what’s happening next, but just as Hisoka reaches for Leorio, he gets smacked in the face with the end of a fishing line. 

Oh, right. Gon was here too, wasn’t he?

“I’m here.” Gon appears from behind the fog, a determined look on his face. I want to scream at him to run, to never get involved with Hisoka, and I’m this close to completely changing the plot by grabbing Gon and running. But these thoughts arrive in my brain too late, because Hisoka turns back.

“Not bad, kid.” 

It should be illegal for Hisoka to look like this. 

“Is that a fishing rod?” Hisoka continues, slowly walking in Gon’s direction. “What an interesting weapon. Can I have a look?”

Well, now would be a good time for my legs to start working again, but spoiler alert- they won’t. I’m frozen, shivering in place, unable to do anything but watch as Hisoka gets closer and closer to the greenie. 

“I’m the one you’re supposed to fight!” Leorio runs at Hisoka again, and I watch Hisoka punch Leorio solidly in the face. Like a ballerina, my shirtless hero spins in the air before flopping to land on the grass, unconscious. I finally get my feet to move and clumsily stumble over to the fallen Leorio, knowing there’s nothing I can do. 

“Did you come back to save your friends?” It’s almost like he’s teleporting, the way Hisoka moves. Now he’s crouching a few inches away from Gon. Thankfully Gon does the logical thing and leaps back, fishing rod at the ready. “What a good boy.”

He’s too close to Gon, and my inner adult instincts are boiling. No matter how terrifyingly gorgeous Hisoka is, I will not let him get any closer to my baby Gon, the baby that I spent hours and hours adoring in my past life. I don’t think I can do anything, but I can’t just sit here and watch this happen before my eyes. 

“Gon!” I shout, getting up from next to Leorio. Green baby is whipping his fishing line at Hisoka, who manages to easily dodge each attack. 

“You’re making me excited now.” Hisoka’s eyes gleam, and anger rolls in my stomach.

Gon tries another attack, and Hisoka grabs my baby by the throat.

“Let him go!” I scream. Gon’s little feet are dangling in the air and I can’t watch it anymore, it’s physically paining me.

I’m out of options. So I throw another tampon.

Even worse, I miss. The Tampax sails through the air and misses Hisoka by a couple inches. I don’t think he even notices that I’ve thrown it, since he’s too concentrated on the hand choking Gon. 

“Excellent.” Hisoka says. Gon squirms in his grip, and then his eyes close.

Hisoka releases his hand, and Gon drops to the ground, coughing. I’m right behind him, and I can’t stop myself from wrapping the young boy into a hug. I don’t even know why I do it, but I do. 

“Don’t worry.” Hisoka crouches in front of us, absolutely terrifying and somehow, inexplicably, still handsome, “Your friend is alive and well. Because he has passed.”

He looks to Leorio, and then back to face Gon in the eyes. I can’t see Gon’s expression because I’m still clutching on to him, but I can see Hisoka’s, and his face is arranged into an odd sort of smile. 

“You have also passed. I hope you’ll become a good Hunter.” Hisoka says to Gon, and then he looks directly at me. “And you…”

He doesn’t finish, because he grabs something from his pocket. A radio, I think. 

“Hisoka. You should get back to the team.” A muddled voice from the radio says. “We’re almost at the Second Phase venue.”

“Okay, I’ll be right there.” Hisoka responds. He presses the button on the radio and stands up. It’s probably the wrong time for this, but I marvel again at his ultra-thin waist. 

“We all need friends.” Hisoka grabs Leorio from the ground like a doll and plops him on his shoulder.

I can’t help the small part of me that mutters “Lucky” as I watch the limp Leorio get carried off by Hisoka into the fog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's called self-indulgence for a reason, ehehe. I had a lot of fun with this.


	6. Pork, eggs, and I love you's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hunter Exam is a lot harder than it looks.

Once Hisoka’s completely disappeared, I can finally relax.

Gon’s breathing heavily, and I notice sweat rolling down his face. I realize that I’m still holding on to him and quickly detach myself, not wanting to be awkward and all, but I don’t think Gon really cares. He’s too shaken up by what’s just happened, and I really can’t blame him.

“Are you both alright?” Kurapika emerges from the fog. Wow, couldn’t have shown up earlier, huh, Kurapika? That would have helped us some.

“I’m…” Gon slowly stands up, and although he’s trembling a tiny bit, has a determined expression on his cute little face. “I’m fine. Bella was really scared, though.”

“Whaa?” How am I dragged into this? Was it because I was clinging on to Gon? I’m sorry Gon, but you were so cute, how could I not want to hug you?

“Then, are you alright, Bella?” Kurapika asks sincerely. I do my best to nod enthusiastically, as if I hadn’t just been given a heart attack by a pedo clown.

“She threw some things at Hisoka.” Gon says, and picks up one of the tampons from the ground. “What is this?”

I go red and immediately snatch it back from Gon.

“You don’t need to know!” I say loudly and shove it back in my pocket. Damn it. “Anyway, we should get moving now.”

Kurapika nods. “And what about Leorio?”

“Hisoka will bring him to the venue.” I tell them, getting to my feet and trying to get the mud off from my knee-highs. “Gon, can you lead the way?”

He smiles slightly, and points to a direction in the trees.

Kurapika and I trail after Gon as he leads us down a path, pausing every few seconds to sniff the air again. He really is just like a puppy, and I love him for it. In this way, all of us make it to the Second Phase, although when we arrive Leorio is a little more beat up than the rest of us, propped up against a tree. Poor Leorio.

“Ow. Why do I have so many injuries?” Leorio mumbles, rubbing at the raised bump on his face. His sunglasses have been taken off, and he looks a little disheveled. But even despite his injury I think he’s still looking just as amazing as always, especially since he hasn’t put his shirt back on yet… um, anyways. It’s a collective agreement that we shouldn’t tell Leorio that he was smacked in the face by Hisoka, although if I was in his shoes I’m not sure I’d want to forget it.

“Gon.” It’s Killua striding over confidently, skateboard tucked under his arm. He only addresses Gon, which is simultaneously adorable and irritating, but I’ll forgive him because it’s Killua.

“Killua!” Gon exclaims, excited. Ugh why are they so cute?

“I can’t believe you actually managed to find your way here.” Killua says with a slightly condescending smirk. “I didn’t think you’d make it.”

“I followed the smell of Leorio’s perfume!” Gon says eagerly, to which Killua makes a face and I giggle a little. They chat for a few more seconds before Satotz brings back our attention and I’m reminded of what’s next.

So, the second phase, huh. It’s the cooking, right? I was never much of a chef, but over the years I’d mastered my instant ramen techniques, if that counted any. Bring it on, Gourmet Hunters- I’ll show you some Portabella Mushroom!

Not real mushrooms, mind you. I mean, my name, Portabella Mushroom. Because some genius thought _that_ was a good idea.

I might have been a bit too confident, though. When our group encounters the horde of pink, snorting pig shits, the task is not as easy as it appeared in the anime.

“Why are these pigs so big!” I scream hysterically, clinging on desperately to a tree trunk. There’s a giant nasty pig only a few feet below me, and it’s currently ramming its pointed snout into the wood, shaking the entire tree, me included.

“Bella!” Kurapika shouts from nearby, although I can’t tell from where because my face is currently shoved into tree bark. “Are you alright?”

“Does it look like it, Kurapika?” I yell, shivering as the pig takes another whack at the tree trunk.

“Yo, we’re heading back now!” Is that Killua?

“Bye, Bella!” Gon’s voice. There’s a sound like dragging, and my heart sinks when I realize that they’re taking their pigs and leaving. But what about me? I’m still here! Hello?

“The weak spot is the head!” Leorio calls unhelpfully.

I mean, I know that, but how the hell am I supposed to hit the said weak spot? I doubt the tampons will be very effective here. And how am I supposed to get this huge thing back to the culinary area? The weight of the pig alone is already a problem for my skinny little arms.

“I threw a tampon at Hisoka. If I could do that, you shouldn’t be a problem, Peppa.” I say to myself through gritted teeth for some sort of encouragement. “Ready, set-”

I release my hold on the tree, and plop directly on top of the pig’s back. But I’ve missed the weak spot, and instead of injuring it, the pig’s only gotten madder. It emits a shriek, and the next thing I know it's galloping away, with me holding on for dear life on its back.

Luckily, Peppa ends up running full speed exactly where I need to be- right into the open area, where Buhara and Menchi are sitting in wait.

“Stop, Peppa!” I command, reaching over to thwack my companion on the small part of its head. A second later, the pig collapses, and I slide right off.

How’s that for bad-assness?

Behind me, dust flurries up from the ground as a stampede of exam participants march in with their pigs. I yank Peppa by the ears and drag the pig over to one of the open cooking stations, where I’m quickly joined by the others.

“Nice one, Bella!” Leorio greets me, casually skewering his own pig. “I thought you would need some help.”

“That was a clever idea.” Kurapika agrees with a nod. “You couldn’t carry the pig on your own, so you took advantage of the pig’s speed and strength to bring you both here. I must say, I have underestimated you.”

“Kurapika, I told you Bella would be fine!” Gon adds in, and the contrast between cute little him and the large pig he managed to wrangle is almost funny.

“Aha! That’s _exactly_ what I was doing, Kurapika. Thanks, you guys.” I play it off cool, and slap Peppa’s head lovingly, who grunts at me.

“Now we cook.” Killua says, and easily mounts his pig onto a stick. Kurapika and Gon follow without any trouble, hefting their pigs onto the roasting platform above the provided fireplaces. It takes me a little longer to figure out how to skewer mine, and by the time Peppa is deceased and turning over the open flame, I’m thoroughly exhausted.

In no time at all, applicants are already bringing their roasted pigs forward to our judges, and the pile of pig bones next to Buhara grows larger and larger.

“No one has passed so far.” Leorio comments, his own pig flopped across his station.

“And Menchi hasn’t even taken one bite.” Kurapika muses, hands on his hips. “Oh! Let’s include originality and presentation, too. This is more than just a cooking test.”

The idea hits Gon and Leorio, and they immediately set out to work. By the way, Gon is wearing an apron, just when I thought he couldn’t get any cuter. If this keeps up, I might just have to pull a Hisoka and kidnap this adorable little boy.

Don’t worry, I’m kidding. I think.

“Excellent!” Leorio finishes his dish and places a dinky Hunter flag on top of his pig with a flourish, then runs it up to Menchi. She immediately rejects the dish, and the pig goes flying, much to Leorio’s disappointment.

“It’s my turn!” Gon decorates his pig with a lei of flowers, but receives no better results. Kurapika’s made his pig beautifully sliced into layers, prompting Menchi to take a bite, but we all know how that one turns out.

Peppa’s finished roasting, and as I set the pig onto a big serving dish, my stomach rumbles again. Surely one bite won’t hurt…

“Is that all you guys have to offer?” Menchi complains from the front, tapping impatiently. “Hey, you, pink-hair, you haven’t brought up anything!”

“Do you mean me?” I reply, my face stuffed with roasted pig. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but it’s pretty damn delicious. “Um, well, you see-”

“Just bring what you have!” Menchi huffs. I wipe away some pig grease from my mouth and hesitantly walk over my tray. There’s a gaping hole where I’ve been eating from, so I place the food on the table with the bite marks facing me.

“As you can see, I’ve taken the liberty of taste-testing it first.” I inform Menchi and Buhara.

Menchi raises an eyebrow sceptically. “Then, I’ll take a bite.”

“Oh, really?” I wasn’t expecting that, but Menchi takes out a fork and knife and cuts out a slit of meat from Peppa. She pops it in her mouth, and her face turns down a bit.

“It’s just _fine_.” Menchi sighs, pushing the plate towards Buhara.

Gordon Ramsey _who_?

“It’s still not good, though.” Menchi says pointedly, slumping back in her chair.

“I’m so full. I can’t eat anymore!” Buhara pats his huge belly when Peppa’s bones get added to the pile behind him.

“Sure, I’m also full from all the frustration.” Menchi says, and gets to her feet. “This means that no one has passed the test. We’re done here!”

I’m a little disappointed as I sink back into the crowd. My pig wasn’t even that bad.

The people around me are even angrier, complaints arising as the full implications of what Menchi said settle in.

“We will not be changing our minds about failing you.” Menchi says, arguing back to one of the complaining candidates. “None of you cooked anything special or interesting.”

As Menchi yammers on and on, the rest of us stand in place uncomfortably. I’ve got my eyes on the sky, waiting for the airship that I know is coming to arrive.

“What are you looking at?” Leorio asks me, squinting up at the sky next to me. “There’s nothing there.”

“Oh, um, I’m looking at that cloud.” I point to a random puffball in the sky. “See, it looks like… cotton.”

Leorio looks at the cloud a second more, then shrugs. “I mean, sure, I guess.”

Seriously though, where is Netero? He’s supposed to be here any second now.

“None of you are fit to become a Hunter!” Menchi is saying, waving her knives around like a circus performer.

Oh, finally! I can see the airship burst out of the clouds now.

“Even so.” Netero’s voice echoes down on us. “Not passing any candidate is a bit strict.”

Tell it like it is, Netero.

There’s a loud crashing sound and dust explodes in front of us. When the dirt and debris clear, there’s Netero, standing majestically with his robes flowing. His wooden shoes make a clopping sound as he strides over to Menchi.

Now they’re talking, but I’m not paying attention because I’m sneaking the last bits of pork off from the roasting stick. Who knows when I’ll be able to eat next? I better be prepared.

xXxXx

One airship ride later, we’re all scattered around at the top of a cliff.

“Everyone, take a good look over the cliff.” Menchi says, and I do, but it’s hella scary because, um, it’s a cliff? A very, very tall cliff that I do not want to fall off of. “This is the lair of the spider eagles.”

Yup, there are long, thick white strands of web across the canyon with sacs of giant eggs, and I gulp nervously, because yikes. I know where this is going and I do not want to do this.

A huge gust of wind blows up from the canyon, and whoops, up goes my skirt. Again, thank god for the built-in shorts.

Menchi takes a careful leap off the side of the cliff and swings around one of the webs like an acrobat. Then she free falls down, grabs ahold of an egg, and the wind pushes her back towards us, where she lands neatly on the edge.

The updraft fluffs Killua’s hair and some of it flies into my face, and holy hell is it soft.

“We will be using these eggs to make hard-boiled eggs.” Menchi explains, holding up one of the spider-eagle eggs. I tear my attention away from Killua’s fluffy hair.

“This is what I’ve been waiting for! Let’s go!” Gon exclaims, and all of a sudden he, Killua, Leorio, and Kurapika launch themselves off the edge. I guess I’ve missed the cue or something because I’m a few seconds late behind them, my skirt and hair flailing on my way down.

“Aiyee!” Leorio screams, and honestly, same, because I’m majorly panicking. I haven’t thought this through at all, and it’s absolutely terrifying. Somehow I manage to grab onto one of the webs, and now I’m dangling up in the air, doing my absolute best not to look down.

My upper body strength is clearly not enough for this because after only a few seconds, I’m starting to feel the burn. My hands are getting sweaty around the web, and I’m thinking it’s any second before I involuntarily let go and fly down to another early grave.

Peer pressure is apparently a very prevalent issue here because now all of the other candidates are surrounding us, hanging on to their own section of the web. One guy lets go early, and I get a weird feeling when I watch him fall, because I know that guy’s about to die and we’re not doing anything about it.

The web buckles under all of our weight, and I jolt down, one hand letting go of the support. Now I’m dangling by only my right hand, and my heart rate has accelerated to inhumane speeds.

Yup, I’m gonna die.

“Gon, how much longer?” Killua asks, his voice relaxed even despite the situation, because of course it is, it’s freaking Killua. More and more people are dropping down and screaming, and yup, they’re all going to die, and I’m going to be next.

As I’m debating what my last words will be (I can’t decide between saying “I love you” to Leorio, or to Killua) Gon saves me from my decision by shouting, “Now!”

We all let go, and in varying levels of gracefulness, latch on to one of the spider-eagle eggs below. Then it’s some more freefalling, and I’m pretty sure I’m about to vomit all of the pork I ate earlier as we plummet into the abyss.

And, whoosh, a rush of air pushes us out, and I’m landed safely on the side of the cliff, gagging and hyperventilating as I clutch on to my egg like it's a baby.

How the hell did everyone do this so casually?

It’s almost worth it, though, because the taste of the finished boiled egg is simply divine. I’m done devouring mine in record time, then feel immediately queasy and plop down on the ground with a hand over my stomach. Apparently this little body I have now cannot hold food the same way my old one did, and there are some suspicious noises happening down there.

“Bella.” Gon taps me on the shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Noooo.” I grumble, hands held protectively over my belly. “I ate too much.”

Gon sits down next to me with a big smile. “That was lots of fun, wasn’t it?”

“No, not really. I thought I was going to die...”

“I’m with Bella on this one.” Leorio adds. “That wasn’t fun at all.”

“It was alright.” Killua has his hands behind his head in his iconic pose, and for a moment the sight of him in all of his glory relieves the pain in my stomach.

“I loooove you.” I sigh, then almost choke when I realize I’ve said it aloud.

“What?”

“No, I mean- I love- the view!” I frantically wave my arms at the cliff. “It’s a very lovely view, right!”

“No, you definitely said ‘I love you’” Leorio calls me out, and I gulp. Um…

“I was talking about the food!” I try. “You know, like, oooh, pork, I loooove you. And eggs…”

Gon nods with me. “I get it! Oooh, cake, I loooove you!”

“I love a nice steak.” Leorio comments, grinning. I sigh in relief- I’ve managed to pull myself out of this bind, somehow.

“I really do love you guys, though.” I say, just under my breath. I think Gon hears me, but he smiles innocently, and I can’t help but melt in that adorable look of his. “I really, really do…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so pleasantly surprised with the reception on this fic- oh my! This was all written for fun, but every kudos, bookmark, and comment really does make my day :)
> 
> This chapter is a bit shorter. I'm playing around with how to adapt the show in this style- I obviously can't/shouldn't transcribe each and every line and each and every action, so I have to find that perfect medium. As we break away more and more from canon, it will probably be a little easier, but while still in the exam arc, this will have to do.
> 
> Strangely enough, while Bella is supposed to be me, she's started to adapt a personality of her own. She's definitely a lot more fun than I am, aha.
> 
> That's all, I think. Oh, except for one more thing- I really could not think of what Gon's favorite food would be. I put cake, but seriously, I don't know what he would actually say...


	7. Wait, this isn't canon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trick Tower, with Bella as the fill-in Tonpa. But things go a tiny bit off-track.

Alright, I’ll get this over with quickly: I did, in fact, fall asleep on the airship ride to Trick Tower.

I was tired, okay? It’s been so long since I last slept that I just took the opportunity.

Leorio, bless him, he fell asleep almost instantly, propped up against the wall. Kurapika covered Leorio with a blanket then tucked himself into his own. And, there was me, who was just standing there awkwardly and watching.

“Are you going to nap as well, Bella?” he had asked.

I’d nodded, lowkey hoping for Kurapika to tuck me in too, but that never happened, so I found myself lying on the cold floor, trying not to be overly conscious of the two very handsome guys only inches away from me.

All things considered, it wasn’t so bad.

Anyway, I ended up knocked out for the entire trip. At least Kurapika was courteous enough to shake me awake when the airship finally arrived.

All of us spill out onto the top of the tower, and Beans (I can never grow tired of looking at him) gathers our attention with a clearing of his throat. “Everyone, this is the starting point for the Third Phase. This is the top of the Trick Tower. You’ll pass if you’re able to reach the bottom alive. The time limit is 72 hours.”

And just like that, the phase begins.

It only takes a small while for Gon and Killua to locate the ring of trapdoors, and not much longer after that for all of us to pick one each and throw ourselves down them with hasty goodbyes.

“That was a very short goodbye.” Kurapika says when we all land together, standing up and brushing off his clothing.

“Despite choosing different doors, we all ended up in the same place.” Leorio mutters. He’s hit the ground pretty hard, so his beautiful face is a little reddened from landing headfirst.

We collect around the small display in the room, where five bracelet timers rest on a podium. “From now until the end, the five of you will continue by following what the majority wants” reads the illuminated sign. I grab one of the timers and snap it on to my wrist, the others following my lead.

“Let’s get straight into it, then.” I say cheerfully, mostly because I want to get out of here as quickly as possible. It’s dark, dirty, and smells like a rat’s nest, so the sooner we get through this, the better.

“If you wish to leave this place, you’ll need to work as a team.” the examiner’s voice suddenly booms at us from above. “If you do things on your own, you’ll never be able to leave. I wish you good luck.”

With that, one of the panels on the wall slides up, revealing a door with an “O” and “X” marked on the display. “To open the door, press O. If not, press X.”

“So, it's the majority from now on.” Leorio comments, reaching for his own bracelet. “Shouldn’t be a problem as long as we all agree.”

I press the O on my bracelet as well, and the five of us push into the room behind it. The next room asks to choose between left or right, and the rooms after that follow the same patterns. As we walk, I’m slowly starting to realize what’s coming next: the fighting.

Here’s the thing- I don’t know shit about combat. I mean, what, I took karate lessons for like a month back in elementary school, but I doubt that’ll help me any now.

But, if we’re following the script of the episode, I’m here in place of Tonpa (you can refer back to chapter 4, where I made him leave after he ended up swallowing some of his own laxatives). And if I remember correctly, Tonpa forfeited immediately in his match- so, all I need to do is mimic him to keep the story on progress.

When we arrive at the open area where there is a large fighting platform in front of us, I shiver when I see the cloaked, handcuffed figures. The guy in front’s handcuffs click off, and he removes his covering with a flourish. And… he looks hella strong.

I gulp. Okay, I’ll just do as Tonpa did- give up immediately. Or that’s the plan, anyway. It feels a little strange to willingly be imitating Tonpa, but then again, everything about my current situation is a little strange.

“All of you, listen up. The people standing before you are all prisoners of Trick Tower” Our creepy escape-room-operator-examiner-guy speaks up again over the speaker system. “At the same time, they’ve been hired as examiners by the Selection Committee. You will now battle with the five of them. It will be a one-on-one battle. Each person can only fight once…”

For some reason, everyone turns to look at me with concerned faces. I guess I don’t exactly give off the most badass fighter energy, but come on.

“You can determine the order as you’d like.” The first prisoner says to us. “And, the outcome depends on the majority rule. So, if you can win three times, you’ll pass.”

“Straightforward enough.” says Killua.

“Every hour they keep you here, we’ll take one year off their sentences. Their goal will be to waste as much time as possible,” our examiner informs us.

“I see.” Kurapika says. “This test is a fight against time.”

“I’m Bendot, and I will be the first one up,” our first opponent says shortly. “Make your decision quickly.”

“Me! Choose me! Pick me!” I raise my hand in the air frantically. Better get this over with quickly. “I’ll go first!”

All four of my fellow teammates stare at me blankly.

“No.” Leorio says firmly. “We don’t know what they’ll come up with. They might play dirty. Besides, can you even fight?”

“Leorio’s right, for once.” Kurapika nods. “Bella, you could get seriously hurt. So, I’m going to-”

“Nope, nope, nope.” I say, crossing my arms. “I’ll go first.”

I kind of expect them to just let me go, but I’m surprised by Leorio grabbing me by my shoulder. “Hell no, Bella. Let Kurapika go, at least.”

“No, you see, I have to go-” I can’t formulate any words because I’m thinking about Leorio’s hand on my shoulder and it’s causing my brain to go all mushy. “Since I’m the self insert, I have to go first-”

“The self-what?”

“Excuse me! Mr. Examiner! Extend the walkway, please!” I shout. “I’ll be going first!”

“Bella, stop-”

The floor rumbles, and a long, skinny pathway extends out from the side of the platform. I try and move towards the newly formed bridge, but Leorio’s grip doesn’t let me budge.

“I’m going to go first!” I repeat. “I have a plan-”

But Leorio pushes me back and climbs across the walkway, leaving me utterly stunned in place.

“Actually, you’ll be fighting me!” Leorio announces to Bendot, cracking his knuckles. He plants his feet firmly on the fighting area, his back facing us.

Oh… something’s definitely not right here.

This didn’t happen in the anime.

I look around at the remaining three who stand on the edge with me- Kurapika, Gon, and Killua. Kurapika has the slightest trace of worry on his face, but Gon and Killua seem entirely unbothered by the turn of events.

Meanwhile, I’m a little terrified. This is uncharted territory. What’s going to happen to Leorio? I’m pretty sure that he can’t fight this guy any better than I can. What if he gets hurt? What’s going to happen to the rest of us?

Have I… messed things up?

“Leorio, forfeit!” I call out. “Please! Trust me!”

“Nah, Bella! I’m going to show this guy!” But his voice wavers, and we can plainly see the way his legs tremble.

Bendot grunts. “How about a deathmatch?”

“Don’t accept, Leorio!” I bite my lip and try to close my eyes, but I still peek through the slits because I just have to know what’s going to happen.

“Sounds good to me.”

It all happens rather fast. In one move, the fighter sends Leorio tumbling across the floor tiles, dust coloring his button-up shirt a dull grey. I let out a choking gasp as Leorio struggles to push himself up, only to collapse back down again and clutch at his stomach.

“Forfeit! Forfeit already!” I scream. It physically hurts to watch him get beat up like this. Bendot is approaching again, fist readied.

“It’s not worth it, Leorio!” Kurapika shouts, genuine worry etched on his face. “Give up! We’ll take care of the rest.”

Leorio sputters and coughs, then, in a garbled voice, cries out, “Okay, I forfeit!”

“If he forfeits, that means you win!” I call out to Bendot. “So stop!”

Bendot is holding back a laugh, a frustrated hand held on his head. “All right, then. I win this round. If we win another two rounds, you guys lose. You won’t be able to proceed nor turn back… and the rest of us will have our sentences cut. Sheesh, all that talk just to forfeit...”

I dash across the walkway and kneel next to Leorio. I try and help lift him back up from the ground, but I’m around half of his size, so I don’t end up very useful. Kurapika joins me and we both support Leorio back across the path and to the others.

“Are you okay, Leorio?” Gon asks once we’ve got him leaned up against the wall.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He mutters, rubbing at his nose. “Damn it…”

Well, he doesn’t look fine. He’s covered in floor dust and clearly wincing at where Bendot got a hit on him. I feel terrible just looking at him- this wasn’t supposed to happen! If only I wasn’t such a simp for Leorio, I could have forced myself to go first and forfeited immediately, but he was too damn handsome and…

“I’m so sorry, Leorio!” I bow in front of him. “The thing is, you weren’t supposed to go- that was supposed to be me, I was just going to forfeit the match, and then-”

Killua interrupts me in the middle of my rambling apology. “Who’s going next?”

“Ooh, me! I’ll go!” Gon waves his hand. “Bella, I’ll make sure to win this one.”

I nod miserably, watching the confident green boy head for the arena.

I sit down next to Leorio and curl my knees up to my chest, too worried to appreciate his usual good looks. Now I’m just thinking ahead. WIll this mean I have to replace Leorio in the match against that pink haired chick who plays rock paper scissors? And then what?

“Leorio, why did you go into that fight?” I ask.

“I don’t know, I just don’t think I could stand by and watch a little girl get mauled to death by a criminal.” He replies, looking dead serious.

Leorio, your heart is too good for this world.

But he’s called me a little girl, and I’m dying to tell him the truth- that I’m not actually a scrawny child named Portabella, and that I come from a world in which he was supposed to be fictional. But the words get swallowed up by the expression on his face, which looks so sincere.

“I’ll go watch Gon fight.” I say weakly, and stagger back to my feet.

xXxXx

When Kurapika finally delivers a sucker punch to the bright blue Phantom Troupe imposter, the dread loaded in my stomach seems heavier than my own body weight.

The dread only gets worse as Kurapika takes a seat next to Leorio, slumping into a crouch. His hair sweeps over his eyes like the emo boy that he is as he speaks of vengeance and spiders.

From the opposite side of the opening, I see a smallish cloaked figure step towards the platform, and I clench my hands into fists.

But before I can even take so much as a step, Killua moves forward, placing his skateboard down on the floor. “So, it’s my turn, then.”

“Ah, wait!” I yelp, and jump towards Killua, arms outstretched.

I don’t know exactly what I was expecting, trying to tackle a trained assassin, but the results end up pretty obvious: Killua easily evades my jump and grabs my wrist, confining me in place.

By the way, for a killer, he has some pretty soft hands.

“Do you really think you can fight?” Killua says, quickly glancing at me up and down. “I can end it in a few seconds, and we’ll be able to move on.”

I shake my head rigorously. “Well, I can’t fight, but I have to go before you.”

“Bella, don’t do it.” Leorio says from against the wall. Killua raises his eyebrows doubtfully at me.

“Can’t you all just trust me for once?” I snap, ever so slightly irritated. I’m not exactly mad at them- after all, I love these four to bits and pieces- I’m more so mad at myself. Somehow, I’ve managed to mess up the canon events already, just by being here.

Since I get no response, I go ahead and march across the little bridge to the fighting platform. This time, no one tries to stop me. Hopefully, I can get this over with quickly… and canonically.

“Oh my, I’m going up against a little girl.” The convict has a high pitched voice, and I can just about see her pink-toned feet under the cloak as she heads over to the fallen blue guy that Kurapika knocked out. “But, they haven’t decided the last match’s outcome.”

Oh, that’s right. I forgot about that.

She bends down. “He’s still alive. So, I suppose our little fight shall have to wait.”

“Hold the phone, pink chick.” I firmly hold out a hand. “I just want to get this over with. Take off your handcuffs, and let’s get to the bargaining.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, girl, come on. You know what I mean. This guy isn’t dead. So, let’s just get to the gambling thing already.”

“Well, well. I didn’t know that you’d already be informed of my intentions. That’s rather interesting.”

“Hey, Bella, what does that mean?” Gon asks, confused.

“Um, no need to worry. I got this.” I give him an awkward thumbs up. “Okay, let’s just start. Can you wake up this guy here?”

“Why should I do that?”

“So he can forfeit his match, and Kurapika can get the point.” I say impatiently. “Well?”

“Would you like to bet on it?”

“No, not really.” I reply, and shuffle over to the lifeless blue body. He’s pretty scary-looking up close, so I’m hesitant as I use the toe of my combat boot to nudge his massive arm. “Yo, dude, I’m kinda in a hurry, so-”

“What are you doing?” Pink girl says, sounding surprised. “Wait-”

“What’s this guy’s name again? Majitani?” I deliver another small kick. “Yo, Majitani! Get up! Or Kurapika’s gonna rock your ass again!”

The blue limb shivers, and all of a sudden he rolls away from my foot. “Okay, I get it, fine! I lose. You guys get the point!”

As soon as he says this, the digital display on our side flickers from one win, to two. I catch a glimpse of Killua, who has an odd look on his face, and Leorio, who looks utterly baffled. At least Gon gives me an encouraging grin.

My opponent faces me now, and her handcuffs clunk to the floor at once.

When she rips off the cloak covering her, I’m at first genuinely impressed with her hair. I think ours are similar shades of horrid pink, and I’m distracted by the immense volume it has. If I thought Gon’s hair ignored gravity, this girl is on some next level stuff.

She clears her throat. “If you’re so intent on a quick battle, Iet’s set up some rules, shall we? They’ll be quite simple.”

The smile she gives me seems confident, but there’s a sense of unease in the way her eyes flit back from Majitani to me. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so abrupt about it…

“We’ll be betting with time.” Pink girl tells me. “Fifty hours each- and we’ll use increments of ten. The first to use up all of their time, loses. If it’s you, your team will get a fifty-hour penalty.”

Next to us, a display lights up, showing 50 / 50.

“Okay, sure, sure.” I think I understand what she means. “So, what exactly are we betting on, again?” I remember, in the anime, Leorio was betting on whether or not Majitani was still alive, but since I’ve gone ahead and dismissed that issue, we’ll probably be betting on something else.

“You and I have a similar hair color, don’t we.” She comments. “So, let’s make a wager on whether or not my hair is naturally this color.”

Uh… what?

“Well? Do we have a problem?”

I touch some of the hair in my tampon-tied ponytail, thinking. I don’t necessarily have to get the answer right- actually, I should probably pick the wrong choice. That way, Killua can still have his fight after me, and if I want to keep things moving along according to anime, we need to lose those fifty hours in the waiting room.

“No, that’s fine. I agree to the wager. But, how can you confirm if I’m right or not…?”

She smiles, eyebrows arched, “I’m sure we can think of a method.”

The way she says it sends a gross little shiver through my spine- after all, to her I should look like a thirteen year old- but I move the thoughts out of my mind. “Okay, fine, let’s do this. I bet all fifty hours that you dye your hair.”

There’s a few gasps from my teammates, and I cringe slightly, knowing I’ve probably just purposefully cost us fifty hours. It’s pretty obvious that this girl's all natural.

She smirks. “Oops, I’m sorry. My hair is naturally this pink. Just like yours!”

The display changes, and my fifty hours drop down to zero.

“I was hoping to play some more. Such a shame that we finished so quickly.” Pinkie says. “Well, would you like to confirm the wager?”

“No, thank you.” I shake my head.

“Come on, Bella, you should at least confirm!” I hear Leorio shout. “I’ll do it for you!”

“Pervert.” I hear Killua mutter, and then Leorio retorts back angrily.

“No, no, and no.” I say. “She gets the win. We’ll take the fifty hour penalty.”

I hear sounds of protest from Leorio as I trudge back across the walkway, embarrassed to face them.

“Sorry, guys…” I tell them, drooping my head.

Kurapika sighs. “We still have one more chance.”

“That’s me. I’ll be back soon.” Killua shoves his hands in his pockets and brushes by me.

“Are you sure you can even win?” Leorio asks him. “I should have won my match, then we would be done by now.”

“Oi, Gon, this guy is pissing me off.” Killua complains to the green boy, irritated.

“Eh, ignore him,” Gon says, holding up his hands.

“We don’t even know what kind of contest it’ll be. But, if it’s doing math in your head, I’d totally surrender.” Killua mumbles, looking aside kind of bashfully. It’s pretty cute, but a lie- Killua, I know damn well you can do math in your head. I’ve seen the Chimera Ant arc.

“Right, it depends on the opponent! We might still have a chance to win.” Leorio says, perking up a bit. But when the said opponent begins to step towards us, his tone completely changes. “Hey, don’t fight that guy, Killua!”

“Oh? Why?”

“That’s Johness the Dissector. He was the most notorious killer in Zaban City… there’s no need to fight that psychopath! We always have next year.”

Killua, of course, doesn’t listen, and starts walking across the platform.

And of course, Johness gets his ass handed to him.

Well, actually, it’s his heart, which Killua rips out from his chest and drops into the man’s limp, dead hand.

“That’s three wins and two losses for us.” Killua says to Bendot, returning his hands to his own pockets as he stands next to Johness’ corpse. “We can move on, right?”

“Yes, you’ve won.” Bendot replies, uncertain.

“Come to think of it, are you feeling a bit restless after your lame match against Leorio? You could come here and play with me for a bit.”

Bendot swallows. “No thanks. I’ll pass.”

“What is he?” Leorio mutters as Killua strides back towards us.

“Oh, you didn’t know?” Gon says. “Killua’s from an elite family of assassins.”

“Whaat?”

After all is said and done, I take a deep breath. Things are okay. Somehow, we’re back on track with canon, although with a little mix-up along the way.

“Bella.” Kurapika startles me out of my thoughts.

“Ah! Uh, yes, Kurapika?”

He’s narrowed his eyes ever so slightly. “I get the feeling you have something you’re not telling us.”

“Haha… what?”

“How did you already know what your opponent would use against you? And why would you lose, on purpose?”

“Bella lost on purpose?” Leorio says.

“Well, you see… I actually…” I don’t know what to say. I can’t tell them the truth- that I know what’s going to happen next because I _saw it in an anime_ \- so I struggle to come up with some cover-up of a lie, but I can’t think of anything.

“It doesn’t really matter, does it?” Gon says. “Maybe Bella has her reasons. Right?”

Well, I do, but I don’t think the reason is exactly what you’re imagining, Gon. Still, I nod along with his words.

“I’m sorry… I lost on purpose so we could have the extra time to rest, especially with Leorio’s injury.” I blurt out.

I feel a pat on my shoulder and peek to see Kurapika, gently resting a hand. My heart does a little squirmy dance as it always does when I end up in these situations.

“Alright, then. I understand.”

I get the feeling that he really doesn’t believe me. And yet, as we head into the newly-opened resting room to wait out our fifty hours, my heart’s still beating like crazy.

I swear, these guys’ hotness will be the death of me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking up ways to start diverting from canon, and here we are.
> 
> Another thing: I'll be honest, the entire reason I made Bella "thirteen" is so I wouldn't be tempted to pair her up with anybody. Because the temptation was oh-so strong. But that felt, somehow, awkward... 
> 
> Zevil Island is next, and holy- I think I know how to tackle it, but we'll see.


	8. Uh oh, my target is...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The perfect plan may not be so perfect when you have this target for Zevil Island.

Sitting in one small room for hours and hours gets old, and it gets old fast.

There’s tea and snacks, which I’m grateful for, and an assortment of entertainment- Kurapika instantly goes for the stack of books, and Leorio rests on a futon, still recovering from his fight with Bendot. Like the cute little boys they are, Gon and Killua run for the television.

And me? Well, I drive myself crazy.

“Bella.” A little while into our staycation, Kurapika looks up from the book he’s reading. I startle, and my hands leap away from the third braid I’ve done and redone in my hair to pass the time.

“What’s up, Kurapika?” I say casually.

“I don’t think you have evil intentions.” Kurapika begins. “In my time I have seen many who only seek personal gain, and I do not think that you are one of them. However…”

I gulp. Nothing good ever comes after a ‘however.’

“You seem to know quite a bit more than you let on.” Kurapika finishes.

“Ah, about that… you know, I’m just,  _ super _ good at guessing.” I ramble. “So…”

I’m saved from saying anything else as Killua’s skateboard goes flying, nearly whacking me on the side of the head. I just barely dodge it and the skateboard hits the wall behind Kurapika, then drops to the floor. 

“Oops! Sorry, Bella, Kurapika!” Gon says, with a bashful smile. “I’m not too good at this yet.” 

He and Killua stand together, and Killua’s holding on to Gon’s fishing rod. With a flick of his wrists, Killua launches the fishing line, and it hooks around the skateboard and pulls it back towards them.

“Ooh, Gon, look! First try!” Killua says proudly. The two boys laugh it off, and the sight brings a smile to my own face. Goddamnit, they’re just too cute.

“You should be careful of using your skateboard in such a small space.” Leorio grumbles from the futon he’s outstretched on. “It’s dangerous.”

I glance up at the clock on the wall. We’re only about an hour in so far, and knowing myself, I’ll be impatient for the remaining 49 hours. 

“So, Leorio, how are you feeling?” I ask, guiltily looking at the way he holds onto his stomach. 

“I’ve treated the major wounds, so it’ll probably be fine.” Leorio nods to the briefcase that sits just near his head. “This rest time will be helpful.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” I say in relief. 

“Bella, do you want to play with us?” Gon asks me suddenly, balanced from on top of Killua’s skateboard. 

Killua scoffs. “Why, Gon? She’s no fun.”

“Hey, you-!” I turn away from Leorio and shake my fist. “Just because I’m not a kid anymore doesn’t mean I’m not fun. I’ll have you know that my younger cousins  _ loved _ me-”

Killua blinks. “What, are you even older than me?”

Right. I keep forgetting that this Portabella form is way younger than I’m used to.

I grit my teeth. Still, it’s been such a long time since I was able to let loose and have fun. Now that I’ve been stripped of my adult responsibilities and given this new body and life, surely I can indulge myself, just a bit…

And so, after hours of video games, sleep, and the occasional cup of tea, the timer on the wall is down to its final minutes.

Actually, I’m almost sad when I see the counter getting close to zero. The past two days have been full of wonderful sights, including but not limited to a shirtless Leorio, a pillow-fighting Gon and Killua, and a napping Kurapika. (Trust me, napping Kurapika is something you don’t want to miss).

But the time in this room has also given me more insight into the group’s dynamics, dynamics that I had grasped on-screen but never fully comprehended before. There’s something so beautiful about their forming friendship… and I love it.

As much as I’m yapping on about canon, if I want to keep these four together for as long as I can, that’s going to mean a serious canon diversion. Can I even handle that?

I’m going to have to. Seeing Kurapika check on Leorio’s injuries, seeing Killua play-wrestle with Gon, every single second I stay with these four tightens my resolve. 

I’m not going to let any of them get away.

The rest of Trick Tower is insane. Minecart rides, falling platforms, and running away from a giant rolling ball- we don’t get to catch a break until we make it to the final room. It’s filled with all sorts of sharp things, and the wall has two doors which sit next to each other, a stone statue of a woman on top.

“This is your final decision point. Are you ready? Choose either O or X” Killua reads aloud from the placard near the doors. “That’s it?”  
We each reach for our bracelets, and the display registers all five of our unanimous O’s.

“Please choose your path.” announces a voice. “You have two choices. One is long and difficult to pass, but allows five people to go through. The other one is easier and shorter, but only allows three people to go through.”

A few hitched breaths and nervous glances from the others. 

“By the way, the difficult path will take you at least 40 hours, no matter how fast you go, while the easier and shorter path will only take you three minutes.” the announcer goes on. “Press O for the difficult path, or press X for the easier and shorter path. If you press X, any two of you would have to be handcuffed to the wall. Only then will the door open. The two people that are handcuffed will stay here until the time is up.”

“Five… or three.” Kurapika says. “From these weapons around us, it seems they want us to fight it out.”

I step over to one of the giant axes affixed to the wall and carefully try and dislodge it. But I’ve underestimated its weight, and the giant axe blade tips down and smashes to the floor, taking a chunk of the ground with it.

“Oops.” I mutter, jumping away from the fallen axe. Okay, maybe not that one. 

“Guys. I don’t plan on staying behind.” Leorio says, looking at us. “I will do whatever it takes to be one of the three who gets to go.”

“But… I want all of us to finish together!” Gon says. “We’ve gone through the exam together, so we should finish it together, too! I’ll press O.”

“Gon…” Killua says. He looks down at his own hand, flexing his fingers. “Well, I’m not planning to be left behind, either.”

As they’re speaking I try out another weapon on the wall, this one a curved sword blade, and to my relief it’s much lighter than the giant axe. I take a few tentative swings, and the sound of it swishing through the air is kinda satisfying.

“Bella, what are you doing?” Kurapika asks me. “Are you going to fight?”

“What?” I stop swinging the sword. “Um, no. I’m trying to pick a weapon to take with me.”

“Take… with you?” the confusion on his face is almost funny.

“For the next phase. Since, I might need it, you know?” 

Killua starts laughing. “Come on, if only three are going to make it to the next phase, you’re not going to be one of them. Right, Gon? Gon?”

Gon is staring at where the axe had fallen on the floor, looking at the small chunk of stone it managed to remove. “Hey, look at this!”

“What is it, Gon?” Leorio inspects the axe too.

“Guys, let’s all press O.” Gon says, pulling the axe from the ground. “I have an idea!”

xXxXx

“Twentieth place, Number 404, Kurapika! Twenty-first place, Number 99, Killua! Twenty-second place, number 405, Gon! Twenty-third place, Number 403, Leorio! Twenty-fourth place, number 406, Portabella!”

The five of us, completely covered in dirt and debris from an hour straight of hacking away at the stone wall between the two doors, burst through the opening at the bottom of Trick Tower. 

By the way, chipping away at a stone wall is  _ not _ fun. I don’t recommend it. 

“My hands are all blistered, but at least we made it. It’s all thanks to you, Gon!” Leorio ruffles Gon’s hair in such a sweet dad-like move that my heart goes on a rollercoaster ride inside my chest. 

“I can’t believe you actually brought that.” Killua snickers to me. He’s probably talking about the big, curved sword that I’ve brought with me from that last room.

“Who knows, I might need it.” I say. I’m a little scared of the weapon, because damn it’s got a sharp blade, but who knows what I’ll encounter on Zevil Island. After all, if I want to stay with these four, I need to pass the Hunter Exam along with them. 

“Do you even know how to use a sword?” Killua asks. 

Well, obviously not, but I’ll figure it out… probably. 

We end up waiting a while longer, so I use the time to practice stabbing things with my sword. But the results aren’t looking too good- handling the big sharp weapon turns out to be a lot more difficult than it looks. Besides, am I even brave enough to use this on anyone? I had enough trouble ordering from drive-thru’s in my past life, I can’t imagine the pressure of confronting another in battle.

After some time, a door at the bottom of the tower opens, and the remainder of us spill out into the bright sunshine of the outside world. After being confined in the tower for the past 72 hours, the sudden brightness blurs my vision, and it takes a few seconds to adjust and focus on the short mohawk-ed man who stands in front of us. 

“Congratulations on your escape from Trick Tower,” he says. “Now, you only need to take the Fourth and Final Phases. The Fourth Phase will be held in Zevil Island over there.”

Mohawk gestures behind him, where across an expanse of open water I can just about make out the lumpy island he’s referring to. I look back down at my sword, then up to the island again. Here we go.

“For the next phase, we will need you to draw lots.” Mohawk explains, and a comrade rolls out a small wheeled cart with a box on the top. “It’s to decide who will hunt and who will be hunted. There are 24 number cards in this box. In other words, these numbers represent all the current candidates.”

One by one, candidates begin moving towards the box, dipping in a hand to retrieve a card, starting with the gorgeous clown man himself. Because we escaped last, we have to wait through every other candidate’s turn. I’m the very last one, and nervously retrieve the only remaining card in the otherwise empty box.

“Alright, please peel the stickers off your number cards.”

In one fluid motion, I peel the thin white sheet that rests on top of the card, and peek at the number underneath.

My heart drops to the bottom of my stomach.

Out of all the numbers, all twenty-four of them, I just had to choose  _ this  _ one?

Shit.

xXxXx

“Thank you for riding with us. Good job on your Third Phase. I’m Khara, your guide for your trip to Zevil Island.” Our perky female announcer is doing her best to keep the attention of us on the small boat that’s currently speeding towards my doom. “Approximately two hours from now, you will reach Zevil Island.”

I feel a little bad for her, because her words seem to be falling on deaf ears. The mood on this little ship is absolutely terrible. Each candidate sits isolated, badges long gone into some pocket or another, and not one says a word in response to Khara’s helpful announcements.

For me, I’m also sitting alone on the deck, one hand clutching the card I’ve drawn, the other holding the handle of the sword stolen from Trick Tower. I had my choice between sitting with the others, but I couldn’t- I couldn’t look at them, not after drawing the card that I did. I’m feeling sick to my stomach, and it has nothing to do with seasickness. 

As I sit there, I’m very seriously considering just dropping out of the Hunter Exam.

That’s not the right mindset for a self-insert, but no matter how I try and correct it, my brain leaps back to the number on the card and the cycle of dread begins all over again. Why, why, why?

Eventually, sitting in place gets too difficult for me, so I take a small wander around the ship, pointedly ignoring the likes of Gon, Killua, Leorio, and Kurapika. But the walk ends up too stressful when I pass by Hisoka and Illumi, and my blood pressure levels increase dangerously. So, back to my little corner on deck it is.

“Are you going to use your dumb sword?” Hearing Killua startles me and I immediately tighten my grip on the weapon.

“Oh- hi- Killua-” He’s literally come out of nowhere, and seeing his radiantly beautiful (and adorable) exterior almost scares me. 

He crouches next to me, skateboard tucked under an arm. “Who’d you get?”

“Not telling.” Sweat gathers on my palm, and the card digs into the creases of my hand.

“Well, whatever.” Killua stands up again, and then sticks his tongue out at me. “See, I knew you were boring.”

I feel strangely insulted as I watch the adorable boy stroll away.

Some time later, the boat docks at the base of the island, and our guide Khara extends a walkway from the deck to the island.

“We have finally reached Zevil Island!” she says perkily, “Now, starting with the candidate who took the least time to pass the Third Phase, please get off the boat in order.”

As we gather into haphazard lines, I’m forced next to the four I have been trying to avoid. Leorio catches my eye and gives me an encouraging smile, and I try my best to return it, but my stomach does somersaults yet again.

“You can only get off the boat two minutes after the candidate before you got off.” Khara explains, holding up a stopwatch. 

“That means we’ll be waiting forever.” Killua says.

“You will stay on Zevil Island for the entire week. During this time, you have to collect six points worth of number badges each and return to this place. We’ll now start with the first candidate!” 

Hisoka’s the first one up again, strolling off the boat like he’s talking a walk in the park. Even from behind, he looks sooo good…

“So, getting off the boat early is an advantage.” Kurapika muses. “However, for us…” He trails off, and the rest of us fall into silence.

To pass the time, I stare at my shoplifted sword and try and come up with a plan of attack for this phase. I should have realized earlier that things wouldn’t go according to canon forever. I mean, my existence here in the first place was the first big tip off for that.

Zevil Island is about to be hell.

Because the number on my card is 403. 

As in,  _ Leorio Paladiknight _ .

xXxXx

“Just us left.” 

As Gon’s bright green outline disappears into the depths of the island, only Leorio and I are left here on the boat. In front of us, Khara has an eye on her stopwatch, the phony smile somehow still glued to her face.

“Oh, yeah.” I reply. I can’t even stay dramatic and emo anymore because Leorio is too goddamn hot for that, and I end up smiling at him, even though my mind is consumed with the number on my card. When Leorio grins back, I feel like I’m going to faint because of the way it brightens up his entire face.

Stop simping, Bella. Focus.

“It’s been two minutes. The twenty-third candidate may start!” Khara says, beeping her stopwatch. 

“See ya!” Leorio says, half waving to me, and then he’s crossed the walkway and is out of sight.

Khara resets her stopwatch. It’s super awkward, actually, since we’re the only two here, so I just try and look everywhere except at her. After what seems like forever, she gives me the go-ahead, and my trembling legs push off of the boat.

And then, just like that, I’m here on Zevil Island.

Yikes. Now what?

Apparently playing Minecraft does _ not _ translate well into real life, because after only a few minutes into the forest, I’m completely done with this nature thing. How did all those OC’s do this kind of stuff so flawlessly in the fics? Honestly, if I see a cockroach, I think I’ll probably pee myself.

I had loosely planned to try and find Leorio pretty early on, but as soon as I’ve gotten lost into the trees, it quickly becomes clear that that’s not going to happen. Seeing all of this green around me is already driving me nuts.

After maybe an hour? 2 hours? Of aimless wandering, I’m realizing that this isn’t a very efficient strategy. I have no damn clue what I’m going to do.

I need to stop and think, so I scan my surroundings for a nice rest place, but all I see are trees trees trees. I also need to start thinking ahead, since I’ll be on this stupid island for the week. Food, water, maybe even the occasional shit, I need to be prepared for anything.

By the time the sun is at its highest point in the sky, I’m dying of thirst. Through pure chance, I stumble into a clearing in the trees, where a small water stream snakes around. Like a rabid monkey, I scramble to the stream and shove my head in it, drinking until the ache at the back of my throat disappears.

Yup, I’m a mess.

But this seems like a good spot to rest, so I collapse onto the soft grass, trying not to imagine all of the small tiny little bugs that could potentially be crawling over me.

First, I need a game plan. I think back to what I can remember from the anime. Gon’s target is Hisoka… Leorio has Ponzu… Kurapika has Tonpa… Killua has one of those brothers… Tonpa has Leorio…

But Tonpa isn’t here. There’s just me. If I’m filling the role of Tonpa, does that mean Kurapika’s drawn my number?

If Kurapika’s drawn me, and I’ve drawn Leorio, there’s no way for me to pass the phase. I’d have to somehow acquire six other plates, which won’t be possible anyway considering we only have 24 participants. 

Maybe I’m overthinking things too much. Since I’m a self-insert, there’s gotta be some super easy way for me to pass this... 

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing out the group's 50 hours in that one room reminds me a bit of, well, quarantine.
> 
> Let's see. Before I could even attempt writing Zevil Island, I had to sit down and chart out everyone's targets and so on, since I do want this to be somewhat plausible. That took a while, but I've pretty much figured everything out now.
> 
> Now I get to write Bella with a fun sword. Not that she'll be able to use it very well. But that's the fun part, isn't it?
> 
> This was originally all going to be one chapter (so, all of Zevil Island at once) but that was just a monster of a chapter so I've split it up.
> 
> Anyway, comments are always welcome. Thanks for anyone who's bothering to read my little passion project. I'm having so much fun revisiting the series through the eyes of Bella :)


	9. Lord of the Flies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zevil Island.

My first fight on the island happens earlier than I expect.

I can’t fight for shit and I think my opponent knows that, too. With a very minor-character appropriate face and outfit, he approaches me calmly, cracking his knuckles in such a cliche way. According to the badge hooked to his belt that he couldn’t even be bothered to stash away, his number is 89.

But he’s the first human being I have seen in well over a day, and that in itself is nearly exciting. Not that I have been doing much for the past few dozen hours, nothing more than lying on the grass endlessly and complaining about the weather (It’s cold at night. Like really, really, damn cold. I miss my warm bed and snuggly puppy).

Still, I don’t have a good feeling about this encounter.

Mr. 89 slowly advances, a small smile curving on his face.

“Woah there, sir.” I say, holding my sword out in front of me. I’m freaking out big-time, because I have no clue what exactly I’m supposed to do with this sword or this man. But I’ve gotta do something, right?

“If you only surrender your badge, this will be quick.” 89 says, reaching out a hand. “I don’t like messing around with kids-”

“Um, great! Now, how about we talk things over peacefully!” I suppose I don’t come off as very peaceful with my big-ass curved sword, but I’m trying my best, alright? “I’m not into the whole fighting thing either, so, you know-”

He takes another step closer. I can’t detect any weapons on him, but even just by looking I can tell that he’s definitely stronger, even if I’m the one armed with a sword. Uh oh… there’s no handsome man to run in and save me like in the fics- what the hell am I going to do?

“Am I your target?” I blurt out.

“That’s right.” 89 says. “I’m going to become a Hunter, and to do that, I need your number plate!”

I gulp. From the ground, 89 picks up a fallen tree branch, and a few leaves flutter to the ground as he brandishes it in my direction. “Okay, here I come!”

He swings.

I react.

“Aw, shit!” I yelp, and bring the sword down in front of me. The sword is quite sharp, so it cuts through most of the wood without a problem. 

And then it keeps cutting.

There’s a loud ripping sound, and when the leaves and sticks fall down, there’s a silent moment where 89 and I face each other.

See, the ripping sound was his  _ pants. _

There are many things I have witnessed in my time that I sorely wish I could unsee. Like Rule 34 Hisoka x Gon fanart. Or that spider that gave birth to hundreds of eggs in my pillow when I was fifteen. Or… well, you get the point.

And, I think this pantless man is going to become one of those memories, because  _ holy hell _ .

By the time I’ve whipped my head away, what’s done is done- the image is already burned into my mind. 

The thing is, people in this universe don’t seem to employ the very simple practice of  _ wearing underwear. _

Yeah. I need eye bleach… now. God, I feel violated just from  _ looking _ at that, holy-

I hear a small shout from 89, and there’s the sound of heavy, frantic footsteps fleeing in the opposite direction until I’m left alone in the clearing.

My sword falls to the ground, and it lands in the soft earth, handle pointing directly up. Then my knees give out and I collapse to the grass, curling up in a ball. 

_ I hate it here. _

xXxXx

“Bella?”

I don’t know how much time has passed since the “fight,” but when I look up, I see the absolutely gorgeous face of a certain doctor boy, and standing next to him, the outrageously beautiful emo boy. 

“Oh my god, you have no idea how glad I am to see you,” I cough and smile weakly. “You guys are so beautiful, it rinses out my eye sockets.”

“What’s happened, Bella?” Kurapika asks. I guess he ignores my comment about eye sockets. 

Kurapika’s holding on to the hem of his outfit, and I realize there are a ton of apples sitting in the makeshift pouch, which he spills to the grass. Leorio tosses his briefcase to the ground next to the fallen apples and bends to inspect the remnants of mine and 89’s short stand-off.

There’s his ripped pair of light grey pants, destroyed to little more than chunks of cloth, and the piece of rope 89 had used as a belt is frayed and unwound. Next to the clothing is the large branch that 89 had used to attack, split cleanly into two pieces from the cleave of my curved sword.

“Did you get into a fight?” Leorio asks. He fishes out a number plate from the pile od stuff and tosses it to me.

“I guess you could say that.” I squeak. I didn’t even realize that 89 had left his plate here. 

“And what’s all this stuff?” Leorio picks up one of the split pant pieces.

“It’s not that important.” I mumble. I just want to forget it happened already.

“Was 89 your target, Bella?” Kurapika asks. He kneels down, gathering the apples back into a neat pile as he speaks.

I’m about to say no when I remember that my actual target is standing right in front of me. Even though I have no plans of stealing Leorio’s badge, I want them to keep trusting me, so I decide against the truth.

“Yes, yes he was.” I lie, and smile. Then I change the subject to the question that has been on my mind since I first drew Leorio’s card. “What about you, Kurapika? Who’s your target?”

Behind my back, I cross my fingers. His target better not be me- that would suck big-time.

But to my immense relief, Kurapika smiles warmly and pull out two badges from his messenger bag- his own, 404, and a number that I don’t immediately recognize, 118. “I’ve already collected all of my points.”

“Who was number 118?” I ask, running all of the candidates I remember through my head. Which isn’t very many- my goldfish memory has barely been able to recall any.

“He was the monkey trainer.” Kurapika explains, storing the plates back into his bag. “I may have gotten all of the points I need, but Leorio has yet to get his.”

“Oh- Leorio, who do you have?”

The hot man clicks open his briefcase and shows me a card with the number 264. “I can’t remember everyone else’s numbers, so I don’t know who this is.”

“I think that’s Ponzu. Ah, thank goodness something is still canon around here.” I say in relief. If Leorio had gotten, say, Illumi, I think I would have just given up then and there.

“Bella, what do you mean by canon?” Kurapika asks, tilting his head curiously. 

“Oh, um, ignore that. Anyway!” I cheerfully blunder through my mistake. “Leorio, your target is Ponzu- you know, the bee girl? She wears a funky hat and uses chemicals, or something.”

Actually, they might’ve been wasps, but “wasp girl” just doesn’t have the same ring to it, you know what I mean?

“How do you know that?”

“We’re… fourth cousins twice removed?” I make up. Gotta cover my tracks, right? I’m sure Ponzu won’t mind having such a cute cousin like me. “So…”

“Damn it! Well, how am I supposed to find her?” Leorio grumbles. He takes an apple from Kurapika’s neat pile and chomps into it. “We’ve already been wandering around for a while.”

“I can help you guys!” I say brightly. I’m thinking about Bourbon in the cave with Ponzu- if things follow the course of the anime, I should be free to snag that plate, as well. That’ll bring me up to five points total, and I’ll just need one more.

“Really? Thanks, Bella.” Leorio says. “You’re lucky that you’ve gotten your points already.”

Damn, Leorio, if only you knew…

Kurapika is now eating an apple too, and honestly he looks so funny. Like, he’s all dignified and stuff, but there’s only so much grace you can eat an apple with- and it’s absolutely hilarious to see him crunch down on the fruit.

I grab one myself, the most unblemished of the pile I can find, and start chewing. But the juice gets all over my face because… of course it does, I’m no Kurapika. I eat like a monkey.

“What’s the plan?” I ask through mouthfuls of apple. 

“I suppose we’ll just have to wander for a while.” Kurapika says.

“Yeah, there’s not much else we can do. At least we know what to look for, though- thanks, Bella.” Leorio adds in, going in for another apple.

The three of us sitting here, enjoying apples and each others’ company, is actually pretty nice. While I may have had a very, um,  _ alarming _ start to gathering badges, I’m starting to think I at least have a chance.

I wonder… what’s going to happen now?

xXxXx

Spoiler alert: It’s Hisoka. Damn it, it’s always Hisoka.

Nighttime’s fallen, and the three of us are wandering. Leorio and Kurapika are bantering in a playful way, and night bugs make wretched noises from the trees around us. It can almost be described as peaceful. Almost.

Until a chill runs through the air. We stop abruptly, and there he is. The clown man himself, leaned up handsomely against a tree trunk.

“Hey.” Hisoka says, a playing card caught between his fingers.

“HISOKA!” I have to clap a hand over my mouth to shut myself up, but my breathing is raggedy and my knees are shaking. Why does he have to be so good-looking? Next to me, Leorio and Kurapika shudder and crouch into defensive stances.

“I never thought I’d meet you three here.” Hisoka says, his eyes slanting in our direction. “What a…  _ coincidence _ .”

Panic shoots through me as I have the sudden realization of what’s to come. In the anime, Kurapika and Leorio bartered their way out of this situation using their extra badge, but right now  _ we don’t have an extra badge _ .

What are we supposed to do?

“I still need to collect number badges that are worth two points.” Hisoka pushes off from the tree and walks a little closer to us. “Which of you would like to give me your badges?”

“Are you kidding? Who would-!” Leorio shouts bravely, but he’s immediately shut up by Kurapika.

“Hisoka, you have two badges left to collect, correct?” Kurapika states with relative calm. “That must mean none of us are your target. Am I right?”

“I asked first.” Hisoka says. Oh my god, every word that comes out of his mouth is making me melt further and further into a puddle on the forest floor. And I hate it. “I just wanted to know if you are going to give them to me or not.”

“No!” I have to use force to push my wobbly legs forward. Every part of my brain is screaming at me as I take slow steps towards the skinny-waisted maniac. I’m dimly registering the fact that this is a  _ very _ dumb move on my end, but I’m worried that if I don’t do something, canon is going to fall apart completely. 

As if it hasn’t already been destroyed by my incompetence.

“Oh?” Hisoka says, not moving an inch. His gleaming eyes have focused on me and I can feel my face getting all warm, so I look down at the ground. 

“We don’t have any badges for you, good sir.” I say to the sticks and rocks. “So-”

Then I realize- no, wait, I  _ do _ have another badge.

89.

From my skirt pocket I slowly retrieve the badge and hold it up for Hisoka to see.

“So, um- d’you, um, want this?” I stutter. Holy hell, this is making me so damn nervous. “We don’t have enough badges for you, s-so, I’ll give this to you if you’ll leave us alone-”

“Bella, what are you doing?” Leorio hisses at me. “You need that badge! That’s your three points!”

I shake my head slightly, keeping the badge out. Now I’m getting some serious deja-vu from the tampon incident back at Swindler’s Swamp, and I feel sudden embarrassment.

“C- Can we make a deal, Hi- Hisoka?”

“How curious.” Hisoka has a hand covering part of his face, and through the gaps between his long fingers I can see pointed yellow eyes, eyes that are trained directly on me. “I suppose so.”

Instead of chucking the number plate like I did that tampon in chapter 5 (yes, I still have regrets), I copy Kurapika from the anime and shove the badge into the crook of a nearby tree. Then I step back, closer to my two attractive companions.

“How can we be sure that you’ll keep your promise?” Kurapika demands. He’s gotten out his stick-weapon-thingies and is pointing one at Hisoka.

“Oh, don’t worry.” Hisoka’s hands have retreated back to his waist and he smirks. “I’ll be standing here, for now.”

I take a few steps back, and once I’m sure Hisoka isn’t gonna do anything wacky, I launch into a full sprint, running as far away as I can from the sadistic clown.  _ Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod-! _

“Wait, Bella!” Leorio cusses slightly, and I hear crunches of leaves and branches as the two race to catch up. I only slow to a stop when we’ve made it back to the small clearing, where I stagger to my knees and take a long, deep breath.

“I never want to do that again!” I say, mostly for my own benefit. “Holy shit, Hisoka is  _ terrifying!” _

“We could have fought him- why did you hand over your badge so quickly?” Leorio says. “That was your target! Now you have to collect three more badges-”

“But…” It’s not as big a loss as Leorio might make it out to be- after all, 89’s badge was only worth one point- but now I’m back to where I started. “But, if we didn’t pay him off with a badge-”

“Our chances of winning in a fight against him were slim- no, perhaps zero.” Kurapika sighs. “Bella must have realized that. If anything, this was the best course of action.”

Again, Kurapika’s giving me way too much credit, but…

“I’m back to just three points.” I try to laugh but my breath hitches.

_ Now what? _

xXxXx

I guess you get lucky, being a self-insert. Because one of the points that I so desperately need ends up smacking me right in the face.

No, literally. I mean, it comes whizzing at me in the shape of a circular plate that spins through the air and, smack, I topple over and hit the ground.

“What the hell!” I yell, rubbing my cheek. My fingers touch hot blood-  _ yuck _ . 

“Something hit you.” Leorio picks up the badge from the ground and wipes off some of the dirt. “It’s a number plate!”

“Really?” I say eagerly, forgetting all about the blood and pain. “Wait, what number?”

“198.” 

“Um…” I strain my memory, but for the life of me I can’t remember who that is. 

“Wouldn’t that be one of the Amori brothers?” Kurapika suggests. 

It hits me instantly. No, not another plate- realization.  _ Killua! _

I did remember that scene where he throws the brothers’ plates into the forest after wrecking them. Still, I didn’t expect to get slapped by one of them. Is this what we call “plot convenience?”

“Bella, sit still. Your face is bleeding.” Leorio instructs, clicking open his briefcase. I redden as Leorio begins to dab at my cheek with a bandage. It’s probably worth the injury to get treated by Leorio like this, I think.

“Well, this is pretty lucky for me.” I say happily, gazing at the badge. “This means I’ve got four points now.” Just two more to go… one will be Bourbon’s plate, and the other, I’m not sure.

“What about me?” Leorio grumbles. “We haven’t found Ponzu yet.”

“Don’t worry about it.” I wave my hand. “Trust me.”

“We don’t have that much time left!” Leorio protests.

“I know, but…”

“This must be your ‘excellent guessing’ skill again, right?” Kurapika says, and I startle.

“Oh…haha...”

“Is it like fortune telling? Can you tell my fortune?” Leorio asks. “Can you tell if I’m going to get lots of money?”

I don’t say anything, because now I’m thinking about it. There’s a chance that things won’t go according to the anime, after all. What if my foresight ends up completely useless? I mean, so many things have been happening differently to that 2011 Madhouse adaptation that I’m not certain I’ll be able to hold onto the advantage for much longer. And when the end of the exam comes around, I’ll be forced to decide if I really want to follow through with my ultimate plan...

“Let’s keep looking, guys.” I stand up suddenly, grabbing my sword again. I’ve been thinking up a name for the sword, wavering between Chroll-hoe and Hoe-soka, but both are  _ definitely _ not names I want to be caught dead saying aloud. I suppose there’s always Leori-hoe, but when the namesake is right in front of me… it may not seem like it, but I do have  _ some _ pride.

But my to-be-named blade is put to work sooner than I’d hope. Only a little while later, the three of us are confronted with our next conflict.

He’s a kind-looking young man, with buzzed hair and gentle eyes. He holds no weapon, and if he has his badge, it’s not visible to us.

“Hello?” I say cautiously, grip tightening on my sword. 

“Good afternoon,” he greets, with a slight bow of his head.

“Be careful.” Kurapika whispers.

“My name is Kenmi.” the man says, looking up at us. “If you don’t mind me asking, what badge numbers do you have?”

“We have no obligation to tell you that information.” Kurapika says shortly. 

“Please? I don’t mean any harm, but I have not yet been able to locate my target.” Kenmi says. He has a rather soothing voice. “If none of you are my target, I will leave you alone, peacefully. If not, I’m afraid I might have to take drastic measures.”

“Fine, whatever.” Leorio says first, but he slides out his knife from his pocket. “I’m 403.”

“404.” Kurapika says shortly, and he too is readying his weapons.

“I’m 406?” I say it almost as a question.

Kenmi ducks his head. “Never mind. I’ll take my leave now.” He shuffles off without looking back, and now I’m just plain confused.

“That was odd.” Kurapika says. “Was he telling the truth, you think?”

“Hey, why are we just letting him go away?” Leorio asks. “Shouldn’t we take his plate for Bella?”

Goddamnit, I don’t want another 89 incident.

But, I do need to get another plate somehow...

“Yo, Mr. Kenmi, hold on!” I say loudly, putting both hands around the handle of the sword blade.

Kenmi turns back around, his face still the image of calm. 

“So, uh, let’s… duel?” I say.

“Not a duel!” Kurapika mutters. “Bella, why-?”

Honestly, Kurapika, I have no clue why I do half the things I do. 

“Are you sure you want to engage in a fight with me?” Kenmi asks, and his gentle voice tips into one slightly more frightening. “Know that you have been warned.”

I really, really, really don’t want to fight. Damn it, why did I ask for a duel? That was pretty stupid. I lift my sword, point it at Kenmi, and shiver nervously. Leorio and Kurapika are watching, but they haven’t stepped in.

Kenmi is getting into a position, possibly something martial-arts related. His hands move smoothly, almost methodically, and a chill passes over me. Oh no... what have I gotten myself into?

I try and be a badass- I point my sword, anchor my combat boots to the dirt, and try to pretend that I’m not utterly terrified. But I’m not sure that it’s working.

Kenmi’s movements stop abruptly, and all I can hear is wind. I know that Leorio and Kurapika are near me, but it’s like they’re invisible- all I can focus on is me, and the guy in front of me.

“Hi-yah!” Kenmi lets out a little shout as he makes his move, jerking forward even faster than I can react. But he doesn’t hit me- instead, I feel the sword in my hands vibrate. Only a millisecond later, the metal blade cracks into pieces as Kenmi’s hand chops through it.

“Chroll-hoeee!” I yell mournfully as the glinting silver fragments hit the ground. “Nooo!”  
Our time together was short, Chroll-hoe/Hoe-soka/Leori-hoe, but I’ll never forget you, as long as I live…

The sword is pretty much just a handle now, and I throw it to the grass angrily. Damn it, this isn’t how it’s supposed to go! I’m the self-insert! These number badges should be served to me on a golden tray-

Okay, that’s a little too dramatic, but I’m still angry. I was starting to grow attached to my metal companion. I glare at Kenmi.

“Alright, man, now you’re asking for it. I’ll show you what six rewatches of  _ Ranma ½ _ have taught me!”

I kick out with my right foot, but unfortunately, my favorite 80’s anime from my last life doesn’t seem to have taught me a damn thing about martial arts. I miss Kenmi entirely and stumble over my own feet, landing on my hands and leaving grass stains on my palms.

I did take a self-defense class when I was in high school, but I can barely remember a thing from it. Something about kneecaps, maybe? With that in mind, I try another kick, this time going for the legs.

I miss again- is anyone surprised?- but end up landing a solid kick somewhere else.

… And of course, it’s in the goddamn crotch.

Kenmi leaps back, true pain in his eyes. I take the opportunity to run forward, and punch as hard as I can.

I nab him in the jaw, just below his chin, and Kenmi chokes. He buckles, and is soon on all fours, choking and coughing.

I would have been triumphant- finally, a successful hit on my end!- but that’s when my hand starts killing me with a sharp, throbbing pain. When I look down, I see it- my thumb is bent in a way I’m pretty sure thumbs aren’t supposed to bend.

The sight of the dislocated joint brings bile to my mouth, and I suddenly feel weak.

Shit. It hurts.

xXxXx

I’ve always sort of wanted to faint.

Books, movies, anime, fanfiction- they were always romanticizing it. ‘Oh my, I have seen blood! Golly gee whiz!’ and with that, the fair lady collapses into the arms of her waiting suitor. 

But as it turns out, fainting kind of sucks.

When I wake up, Kenmi is nowhere to be seen, and my right hand is bandaged. Leorio and Kurapika are chilling next to me, eating more apples from Kurapika’s stash.

Belatedly, I notice that I’ve been covered up by Kurapika’s blue thingy as some sort of makeshift blanket. I immediately go a bright shade of red, because it’s  _ Kurapika’s clothes _ \- and it actually smells pretty nice, especially considering we’ve been going all  _ Lord of the Flies _ on this island for a while. 

“Oh, you’re up, Bella.” Leorio says when he notices me stirring. He tosses something that lands a few inches from my head- a number plate, with the number 362.

“What’s this? What happened?” I sit up, head still spinning a little, and Kurapika’s overwear shifts on my legs.

“You passed out.”

“What? How? And what happened to my thumb?” I ask.

“Bella, when you punched Kenmi, how did you make your fist?” Kurapika asks.

“Me? I just…” With my undamaged left hand, I recreate the fist. 

“This is why.” Kurapika leans forward and gently touches my hand. My heart begins freaking out as Kurapika opens my clenched fist, because he’s close enough for his soft blonde hair to brush against my cheek. “You’ve tucked your thumb under your other fingers when you punched. This caused it to dislocate.”

“Oh, is that right…” I mumble, looking away from Kurapika’s face so I don’t end up literally overheating. 

“You probably passed out since you were weaker than usual. Have you gotten enough to eat? Here, you should eat more apples.” Leorio chucks a few apples at me. 

“Is this Kenmi’s badge?” is my next question as I pick up the number plate next to me. “Did I win the fight?”

Leorio and Kurapika glance at each other.

“Not exactly…” Kurapika says. “You see, Bella…”

“You passed out before the duel ended, so he technically won.” Leorio said, and I could sense some of the pity in his voice. “But Kurapika and I took care of him.”

I can only imagine it- Kurapika going boss mode like he did on Majitani, and Leorio… I dunno, stabbing him?

I’m starting to feel a little bad for Kenmi.

“Can I really keep the badge, then?” I ask. 

“It’s only fair, since you were the one who challenged him.” Kurapika nods.

I’m elated. With this, all I need left is Bourbon’s plate- and I’ll be good to go. The Hunter Exam will be as good as passed for me.

“Oh, Kurapika, um… th-thank you for lending me this.” I bunch up his clothes and shove it hastily at him. 

“Of course.” Kurapika says. “Are you feeling better now?”

“Yup, totally!”

Leorio clears his throat. “Can we go and find Ponzu now?”

“Of course… but how?” Kurapika asks.

Leorio blinks. 

I sigh and look down at my already exhausted legs. This means more walking, doesn’t it...

xXxXx

We’ve ended up back at the starting point.

It’s been six days since we first landed here, according to Leorio, although I hardly believe it. All the days have been mashing together in my mind, days of hasty sleep and apple-eating, mingled with nightmares about certain crotches. And my hand is still bandaged from the fight with Kenmi, which is particularly irritating because it’s on my dominant hand. You have no idea how hard it is to eat apples without the use of your thumb, lemme tell you.

And Chroll-hoe/Hoe-soka/Leorio-hoe, my trusty sword, has been destroyed.

Rest in peace. Or, pieces, I suppose.

“So, let’s decide the time and place to meet.” Kurapika is saying. “It’ll be more effective if the three of us split up.”

From above, we hear a voice that I know like the back of my hand. “Wouldn’t it be faster if there’s one more person?”

Gon, in all of his green glory, drops down from the tree behind us. I don’t realize how much I’ve missed him until tears start spilling out of my eyes and all of a sudden I’ve launched myself on Gon and given him the biggest hug I can possibly manage.

“Oh- hi, Bella!” Gon says, and he ever so slightly hugs me back. I let go, not wanting to embarrass myself too much, but the green baby has left me overjoyed.

“Gon, have you collected all of your badges?” Kurapika asks. Gon’s eyes widen, and he looks off to the side with a strange expression.

That’s right- Hisoka.

“I think so, yes.” Gon says.

“Damn.” Leorio sighs. “So, it’s just me and Bella left, then. I haven’t even gotten six points.”

“Who are your targets?” Gon asks.

“I have number 246, a girl named Ponzu.” Leorio says.

“I’ve collected two more badges.” I say in response. “Don’t worry about me. Focus on Ponzu for now.”

“And who is Ponzu?” Gon asks.

“According to Bella, she uses bees and chemical weapons.” Leorio explains. “Gon, have you seen any girls from up in the trees?”

He shakes his head. “No, just Bella.”

“I’m starting to become desperate.” Leorio grumbles. “Geez…”

“Well, does that Ponzu have any special traits? Like Leorio has the scent of cologne.”

“I know- maybe you can follow the smell of medicine. Bella says she uses chemicals, right?” Kurapika interjects.

I nod at the sound of my name. “Yup, bee girl uses that kind of stuff.”

“Will that be okay with you, Gon?” Kurapika asks. It’s kind of adorable, the way Kurapika speaks to Gon. He’s like his mom, and Leorio’s his dad- awwwwwww.

“Sure, I’ll try!” Gon says. “I.. came exactly for this.”

There’s something a little unnerving about the set look in his eyes, and like the protective parents they are, Kurapika and Leorio have noticed it too. But none of us make a comment as we watch Gon scamper off into the trees, nose at the ready.

Ponzu will be the last hurdle of Zevil Island, and I can only hope that things go all according to plan… 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:
> 
> Alright... this is the biggest chapter so far, and it has also been the hardest to write.
> 
> A few things have been going on in my personal life- nothing too crazy, but it's kept me from working on any of my fic projects for the past week or so. Then, this chapter was just being frustrating. It's been rewritten perhaps three times, and I'm still not sure it's at its best, but...
> 
> In this chapter, Bella is subject to plot convenience. This was a hard chapter to capture because I'm not basing it off the episode, it's simply Bella doing Bella things.
> 
> Not only that, I couldn't come up with a chapter title. Lord of the Flies it is...
> 
> Sorry to subject y'all to my rant. I'm working on the next chapter now. Once we get past the Killua arc, we'll be at that exact "Don't Leave!" moment, which I'm equally excited and terrified for. I hope you'll stick with me!


	10. My dear cousin Ponzu

As the sun begins to set, the four of us stand on a grassy knoll several yards from the mouth of the cave. There’s a moment of silence as we contemplate our next moves. 

“What do we do now?” Kurapika asks, speaking up first.

“I’ll go in alone, of course.” Leorio responds, setting down his briefcase. “The three of you, wait here.”

“Wait, wait, I’m coming too!” I quickly interject. 

“What? Why?”

“Um… Remember, Ponzu is my fifth cousin once removed!”  
Kurapika frowns. “I thought you said that she was your fourth cousin twice removed?”

“Um, same thing, same thing.” I wave it off with my hand and hope Kurapika doesn’t think too deeply into it. I should probably start keeping track of my lies at this point, or I might end up backed up into a corner later on. “Anyway, since we’re totally family, I should come in and help you out, right, Leorio?”

Leorio doesn’t reply, instead snatching up a stick from the ground and brandishing it in front of him. He advances towards the cave entrance and pokes at the stones in the opening with his stick, checking for traps.

“Okay, I’ll be heading in now.” Leorio announces to us once he’s completed his little investigation.

“Wait for me!” I raise a hand.

Leorio turns to look at me. “I’ll be going in alone. Don’t follow me, all of you.”

“I’m coming.” I say firmly. “It’s my cousin we’re talking about.”

I’m not even sure why I so desperately want to tag along. Maybe it’s to cover my tracks of parading around as Ponzu’s distant cousin, or maybe it’s to spend a little extra time with the hottie. I’m not entirely sure what the motivation is, but I keep my resolve.

And soon, Leorio caves. “Just Bella, and you’re only coming to convince Ponzu.”

“Thirty minutes, then.” Kurapika lifts his hand to display three fingers. “If you two don’t come out after thirty minutes, Gon and I will go in there, too.”

Gon nods along eagerly, but Leorio quickly shuts them down. “No. If that’s the case, then you and Gon will return to the starting line.”

“No.” Kurapika says right back, “Since we’re a team now, we won’t leave any of you behind.”

Kurapika considers us a team? That’s- that’s so precious- oh my-

Leorio doesn’t seem to share the same mushy feelings that I do, because he turns away. “We’ll split up, then. I might have been the one to ask for help, but I want to do this on my own.”

Aww, come on, Leorio…

“No.” This time, it’s Gon who says this, speaking firmly.

“What did you say-!” Leorio exclaims, shaking a fist in Gon’s face.

“We choose to stay. You won’t oppose, will you?”

Well, Gon, who in their right mind can say no to your adorable little face? 

Leorio’s reactionary expressions are so cute and fun to watch- he awkwardly turns away, mumbling, “Suit yourself” as if we can’t see that teeny-tiny blush that’s growing on his face. He tosses his briefcase at Gon and says, “I'll leave the badges to you.” 

I stand and watch him for a moment before remembering that I’m supposed to follow. “Holdup, Leorio!” I call, stumbling forward.

“Still, you really don’t have to come.” Leorio says, flicking his lighter. A small flame erupts at the top, and he starts into the cave, the flickering light gently illuminating our path. 

“See, I haven’t seen my _cousin_ in so very long, so I have to go.” I ramble, following him into the darkness. “Family reunion?”

We carefully plod through the cave. Once we’ve made it a small way in, Leorio closes his lighter, and I take advantage of the opportunity to hold onto the cuff of his sleeve (“So I don’t get lost, right?”).

My heart palpitates when I clutch at his sleeve, because I still have an extreme crush on this man- but Leorio pays the action no mind. He brings out his switchblade, all serious-like, and holds it at the ready.

The dark cave tunnel opens into a fire-lit inner cavern, where I carefully release my grip on Leorio to peer around him.

“Isn’t that Bourbon?” Leorio says in surprise as he spots the snake charmer slumped up against the cave wall. I’m a little freaked out by the corpse and I instinctively huddle a little closer to Leorio. 

“I’m guessing that one of your targets is me?” Ponzu’s voice comes from the darker side of the cave. At the sound I turn to see her, and I’m genuinely ecstatic. She has her iconic hat and green hair, and her large eyes are actually really pretty. I feel pretty proud to be her not-quite-cousin. 

“P-Ponzu!” Leorio steps forward, slashing his knife in the air. 

“It’s no use.” Ponzu says. She sounds almost bored. “It’s useless to fight here.”

“Well, it means a lot to me. Just like you said, my target is you.” Leorio moves closer to her, but Ponzu doesn’t even flinch. She just stays chilling up against the wall.

Ponzu sighs. “Although it’s impossible, even if you win… you still won’t be able to leave this cave.”

“What’s the meaning of this?” Leorio mutters. Silence falls and I decide it’s my time to speak.

“Hey, cuz!” I say, sliding out from behind Leorio. “It’s me!”

“ ‘Cuz?’ ” Ponzu repeats, visibly perplexed. 

“You know… you’re my cousin, after all… haha…” My speech dwindles.

“Do I know you?” she asks.

“Well, I know you, and that’s what counts, right?”

“Are you working with that guy?” Ponzu asks, looking from me to Leorio.

“Oh, yeah, I guess.”

“Bella, what are you-?” Leorio mumbles to me. “Aren’t you her cousin?”

Ponzu sighs again. “What’s your name, then? We’ll be spending some time here, might as well.”

“Oh, I’m Bella! But, I was kind of an idiot, so my full name is Portabella. Portabella Mushroom. Well, I guess it could be worse, they’re actually really tasty if you grill them with some salt.”

Ponzu blinks once, twice. “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand any of what you just said.”

“Do you not have portabella mushrooms here?” Wait, that could explain things. If this breed of mushroom doesn’t exist in the Hunter-verse, that saves me a lot of embarrassment.

“More importantly.” Leorio interrupts. “What did you mean when you said we won’t be able to leave this cave?”

Ponzu shrugs. “Exactly as I said. There’s a trap in place. None of us will be able to leave, not even me.”

“A trap? What kind?” Leorio asks, his knife still out and readied.

“You’ll see for yourself.” She moves her attention over to me, and I gulp. “So, Bella, is it?”

“That’s me!” I salute.

“What makes you think we’re cousins?”

Well, it was sort of a lie made up on the spot to cover my own ass- but I can’t exactly say that to Ponzu.

“Come on, Cuz! Don’t you remember me?” I laugh nervously.

Ponzu’s face is still dead serious. “I think that I would remember having such an _odd_ cousin as you.”

Alright, I’m a little offended. 

“Bella…” Leorio whispers to me. “Whether she’s your cousin or not, I need her number plate. Don’t stop me.”

“Stop you from doing wha-” I can’t even finish my sentence because Leorio’s advanced on Ponzu with a knife.

Um, that escalated quickly.

To her credit, Ponzu rolls out of the way, dodging the blade by a few inches. She immediately repositions herself against the wall, in the same casual resting pose as before, as if nothing had just happened. 

“Like I said. You won’t be able to defeat me in a fight.”

Leorio straightens up, his resolve clear in his eyes. “We can take it outside of this cave. I won’t- no, I can’t- lose.”

“If I were you, I wouldn’t leave here…” Ponzu trails off.

Leorio ignores her, and storms off to the cave exit- then stops dead in his tracks as an avalanche of long-ass snakes drops from the cave ceiling.

And yes, I scream.

I really had to. Like any normal person who’s confronted with a wall of massive, shiny, slithering snakes, I panic. I stumble backwards, trip over a rock, and have the wind thoroughly knocked out of me as I land on my flat ass and watch the thick mass of creatures descend upon us.

“A trap’s been set. Don’t you see? None of us are leaving this cave.” Ponzu’s voice has a bitter note to it.

“But, Gon and Kurapika…” Leorio whispers to himself, the hand holding his knife slightly trembling. “They’ll come in if I don’t leave.”

“That’s too bad, then.” Ponzu shrugs. “If they come in, they’ll be stuck in here, too.”

Leorio looks to me, then to Ponzu, as if trying to make up his mind. I barely have time to think before he makes his decision and stumbles forward, into the tunnel.

And, well... the snakes come back.

They linger on his (well-built) body, small fangs digging into his skin. There’s too many to count and I squeeze my eyes shut, but that doesn’t stop me from hearing the rustling sound of snakes shifting over their prey.

Leorio’s knife is still in his hand, and he slashes at a few, wriggling bodies hitting the cave floor. By the time I open my eyes to look again, the majority of the creatures have slithered away, leaving behind the bitten and bloodied Leorio.

“Kurapika! Gon!” He bellows to the cave pathway, struggling from the ground. “Don’t come in!”

And of course… those two idiots ignore him completely. Are we surprised? Footsteps thump as Kurapika and Gon rush inside the cave, unaware of the snakey mess that’s about to go down.

“Leorio!” Gon calls, being the first to the fallen’s side. 

“Idiots.” Leorio manages to say, sweat rolling down his face. “Why do you guys still come in so recklessly?”

“It’s a kind of viper.” Gon says, glancing at the snake carcasses. “If he’s been bitten by just one, the poison wouldn’t be that strong. But… Leorio took too many bites.”

He crouches and lifts up Leorio’s arm, doing his best to draw out the poison using his mouth. 

“Bella! Explain!” Kurapika commands, kneeling next to Leorio as well. He’s in business mode, each move precise as he looks over the scene.

“Ah- he just- snakes!” I splutter. “Lots of snakes!”

Kurapika hesitates, clicking open Leorio’s briefcase. “Let’s stop the bleeding.”

“I’ll help!” I scamper towards the three, wanting to be useful. What Zevil Island’s taught me so far is that I can’t do shit. 

“Bella, take off his shirt.” Kurapika instructs, retrieving a roll of bandages from the case.

“Me?” I say, looking to Leorio. My face gets all red when I picture myself undoing the buttons on his shirt. 

_Now is not the time for this…_

“Quickly!”

“Right! Yes sir!”

Gon helps me roll Leorio onto his back. His eyes have closed, which spares me some embarrassment as I work to open his wrinkled button-up. I’ve seen Leorio shirtless many times already, but something’s different about it when he’s like this…

Pull it together, Bella. 

Once Leorio’s bare chest has been exposed to us, the thoughts of his built body fade away as I realize how badly the snakes have gotten him. There’s a lot of nasty bites, many more than I’d expected, and they ruin the beautiful-ness of the shirtless Leorio.

How dare they.

Kurapika and Gon both instruct me as we carefully bandage him up and fit him with a quick change of clothes. The bloodied shirt is then bunched up and shoved back into the briefcase.

“That should do it.” Kurapika says breathlessly when we finish, clicking the case back together.

“We still need to get him to a doctor,” says Gon. Together, they heft up Leorio, supporting him with their shoulders. 

“It’s no use,” Ponzu says. She’s been so quiet this whole time that I’ve nearly forgotten she’s here. “You’d better give up on that. You can’t leave this cave.”

The wobbling trio pause.

“What do you mean by that?” Kurapika asks.

“Whoever comes into this cave and tries to leave… those snakes would attack.” As she says this, the snakes begin rustling again, and I cringe away.

Damn it, I hate snakes.

xXxXx

You probably know what happens next. Gon gets mummified in a mass of snakes as he digs through Bourbon’s corpse, Kurapika performs some shady injections to the boys, and the next thing I know the entire cave is filling up with a thick smoke that’s making me sleepy...

It’s nighttime when I reawaken. 

We’re outside the cave. Next to me, Leorio and Kurapika are laid out on the grass, unconscious. They’re both beautiful as always, and I can’t help but admire their sleeping faces a bit. 

I can’t see Gon anywhere, but I have faith that he’ll be back soon, so I shift my focus to Ponzu, who is sitting hatless and asleep against a nearby tree. There in her lap sits plate 103, Bourbon’s.

With my own plate, one of the Amori brothers’ plates, and Kenmi’s plate, I have a grand total of five points. And with Bourbon’s, it brings me to a perfect six.

“Sorry, Cuz, I’ll be taking this.” I say under my breath as I swipe the plate from her lap. 

I barely have a moment to celebrate my victory because Ponzu’s hand moves at lightning speed. Her fingers clasp around my wrist, preventing me from pulling back any farther. “What are you doing, Portabella?”

“Oh! You remember my name?” I say, genuinely flattered. 

“That’s not the point.” Ponzu glances around at the two sleeping forms on the grass. “I see, so we did make it out of that cave.”

“Yup! And, about the plate…” I struggle to pull my hand back, but Ponzu’s got a strong grip. “Cuz, I need this-”

“You keep saying ‘Cuz’.” Ponzu mutters. “But that’s just impossible.”

“It is?” Hell, I can’t keep track of my own cousins. 

“I don’t have any family.” she lets go of my hand, speaking softly. I’m surprised by the sudden change in tone and now I just feel awkward.

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s nothing to do with you. But that’s why it’s impossible for you to be my cousin. That’s all.”

“Well, we can be… um, _spiritual_ cousins.” I suggest. “Cousins at heart, you know?”

Ponzu shakes her head, but she’s smiling slightly. You know, I’ll take it.

Later, when the sky has stopped being emo and reverted back to daylight, I find myself and my companions at the edge of Zevil Island, facing the small boat that brought us here. Actually, we’re a tiny bit late, as everyone else has already gathered in a very socially-distanced group. When the four of us push through the trees, Killua is the first to notice our arrival.

“Gon!” the fluffy assassin says, completely ignoring the rest of us. 

“Another four candidates have returned.” Khara, our helpful guide from before, has her clipboard out and she scribbles down something. Killua flashes a thumbs up (it’s utterly adorable) to which Gon responds with a slight thumbs up of his own.

I scan over the group and instantly notice Hisoka, who is staring at us- well, Gon in particular. And I’m _uncomfortable_. 

“Here are the last four. The first one will be… Number 404, Mr. Kurapika.” At Khara’s signal, Kurapika shows off his two badges. Then it’s Leorio, Gon... and last but also probably least, it’s me, struggling to hold up all four badges at once in my tiny little hands.

“These are the ten candidates who have passed the Fourth Phase!”

Holy shit, I actually did it. 

xXxXx

“That was embarrassing. If you guys hadn’t helped me, who knows what would have happened.” Leorio remarks once we have safely boarded the airship. “I promise I’ll return the favor. So… thank you.”

He looks off to the side and scrunches up his face, cheeks reddening slightly. Oh god he’s so cute sometimes, I swear-

“Attention, all candidates. The Chairman wishes to interview you.” I’d know Beans’ voice anyday, and it’s just now blasting out of the airship’s speakers. “When you hear your number, please come to the reception room on the second floor for the interview. We’ll start from Number 44, Mr. Hisoka.”

At the sound of Hisoka’s name, Gon’s face clouds up slightly and my stomach turns yet again. What sort of responsible adult am I, letting a child like him near Hisoka? He may be hot, but he’s still a creep.

Well, my turn in the interview room comes awfully quick, and there I am, squatted on a pillow in front of Netero himself. He wastes no time on introductions, and instead jumps straight into writing with a brush pen on the small notepad held in front of him.

“Why do you want to become a Hunter?”

I pause to consider the question. It’s not like I really had a choice, huh? First was the death thing, then it was the reincarnation thing, and then boom, here I am, Portabella.

I speak the truth, or as close the truth as I can get. 

“So I can stay close to the people I care about.” 

Not a lie- I probably care more about these characters than I do myself.

“I see. Then, out of the nine other candidates, who do you keep your eyes on the most?”

“Leorio.” I say this without hesitation. “These eyes are definitely on him. I could stare at him _all day_.”

Netero makes a little “hmm” sound and takes a note on his pad. I don’t know what kind of notes he’s getting out of that, but oh well.

“Final question, then. Who would you least like to fight?”

I guess I had kind of forgotten the purpose of this interview, but now that he’s reminded me of fighting my brain comes back to my head. I should answer carefully this time. Who wouldn’t I want to fight…

“Hisoka.” I say, with a slight shiver. 

Netero writes once more and then smiles placidly. “That’s all, you may leave.”

“Uhh, thanks, then.” I jump up from the cushion and wiggle the cramps out from my legs. On my way out, curiosity gets the better of me and I peek over Netero’s shoulder to see what he’s been writing.

It turns out he’d just been doodling hearts. There’s not a single legible note on the piece of paper.

He’s not even good at it. Those hearts are _wobbly._

xXxXx

On my way back from the interview room, I run into Kurapika.

The tips of his bangs are a little wet as are the cuffs of his sleeves, so I assume he’s just come from washing his face (gotta love a man with a skincare routine). He seems a little surprised to run into me, and his unguarded expression slips into a more carefully controlled one.

“Heyy, Kurapika…” I give him a half wave.

“Bella, I was just meaning to talk to you.” Kurapika looks around, but there’s no one in this hall but us. 

Oh, this can’t be good.

“What is it?”

“What are you planning?”

“Huh? Planning?” Which one, Pika? The plan to keep you all together, the plan to meet Chrollo when his hair is down, or the plan to eat dinner? You’re going to have to be a little more specific.

“You’re always looking at Leorio. The others, they trust you- but if you’re plotting something against him-”

“You’ve got this all wrong!” I hold out my hands in front of me as if trying to shush him. My face is probably beet red. “I’m just looking at Leorio because- because-”

_he’s so goddamn hot-_

“because he’s so…”

My brain short-circuits. I have literally no way to end this sentence without sounding creepy. 

“He’s so… pretty…”

That’s it, it’s over for me. Kurapika’s going to stop trusting me, the others will be quick to follow, and the reign of Portabella Mushroom will come to a swift, sad end. Fanfic over; mission failed.

Instead, Kurapika gives me the slightest smile and has the audacity to pat me on the head _._

“I forget that some of you are children, too… I’m sorry, Bella.”

Wait, what?

“Hey, Kurapika-!”

“But you know, Bella, I don’t think you’re his type.”

The _nerve_ of him- of _course_ as Bella I’m not his type, I would be greatly concerned if Leorio started going after thirteen year-olds. 

Still, if Kurapika is just passing me off as a delusional tween, that might actually be in my benefit. It would stop all of this suspicion he’s garnered about me- and give me an easy out for wanting to keep everyone together.

“I think it’s nice to have dreams. I won’t tell Leorio,” Kurapika says. You know what, if this is the path this is taking, I’ll just throw another one in there.

“Kurapika, I think you’re pretty too.” I say it with full confidence, ready for any reaction.

A small chuckle, and his eyes go soft. 

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could say that the reason this chapter took, what, a month? to write was because I was editing and perfecting it. Alas, no- I am someone with a job and responsibilities which have started up again. This chapter was technically ready to go weeks ago, but life gets in the way sometimes, and, well, you know.
> 
> This chapter, hmm. Well, I've always liked Ponzu, so playing off the "cousin" gag for a little longer seemed like fun.
> 
> I guess I'll address the last scene here. Kurapika, by nature, would probably be the most suspicious of Bella. I wanted a way to relieve some of that suspicion. I think he's someone who is good at understanding people, so it's likely he would understand Bella's nature in this way, even if he gets a few details wrong. TL;DR: Kurapika thinks Bella is a delusional fangirl. And he's not that wrong.
> 
> My brain's running on backup batteries, so I'll end this here. Thank you to anyone for reading. The next chapter is titled "Tournament Arc"- that will be fun :)


	11. Tournament arc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the tournament arc. because no anime is shonen without it.

Is it really a shonen anime if we don’t have a tournament arc?

The fighting brackets are laid out on a rolling whiteboard as Netero explains the rules for our final phase. It’s simple: don’t kill anyone.

Nerves are sinking in my stomach, although it’s not out of fear for my own fight. According to the match lineup, I’m supposed to fight the loser of Leorio’s fight- but if things follow the anime, I probably won’t have to take a single foot into the fighting area.

Since Killua is going to kill Bodoro.

Not that I have the greatest moral compass, but something just doesn’t sit right with me at the moment. I  _ know _ that Bodoro is going to die, and I probably have the means to stop it from happening. But that would consist of going against canon, and that’s bad… right?

_ Screw canon! Screw canon!  _ That’s what the little voice in my head screams at me. Isn’t that my goal, anyway? If I want to keep everyone together, that means running canon through a shredder. Still...

Well, we’ll just have to see what happens next…

I barely watch Gon’s fight against Hanzo. It’s not intentional, but looking at anyone trying to harm my little green baby makes my blood boil. I end up spending most of the match with my eyes glued to the floor, listening as Hanzo threatens Gon.

A loud crack- that must be the sound of his arm breaking.

When Gon passes out on the floor after his stunning victory, I’m filled with hostility towards Hanzo (how  _ dare _ you harm the baby??). But as I watch Gon get carted away I feel slightly more at ease knowing that he’ll be safe asleep. 

He’s a Hunter now.

Second match is Kurapika vs Hisoka, which I watch attentively. There’s something so graceful in the way both of them move, and since they’re both so beautiful it’s hard to peel my eyes away. But before their fight carries on much longer, Hisoka whispers something into Kurapika’s ear and strolls off in forfeit. 

Third is Hanzo vs Pokkle. And throughout the match, I’m still thinking. Is it morally okay to watch someone die when you can prevent it? What will be the repercussions of stepping in?

Hanzo wins the fight quickly, and then the battle begins between Bodoro and Hisoka. This is a fight I pay attention to- after all, Bodoro is the man whose death is practically minutes away. 

As I watch Bodoro gasping on the floor after getting utterly wrecked by Hisoka,my resolve slowly grows. If I can do something, then I will- and deal with the consequences later.

Killua rejects a fight against Pokkle; Leorio requests his own match be postponed so Bodoro can rest; and before I know it, the little silver-haired assassin fiend is strolling up to the fighting area, hands in his pockets, cocky grin etched on his face. Gitturackur awaits him, an eerie smile on his needled face.

I try my best to prepare mentally for when Illumi takes the needles out. Key word here is  _ try. _

Illumi is GORGEOUS.

It’s not the right time for me to be simping, especially when I can smell death around the corner, but god-damn does my heart tickle when Illumi’s lusciously long hair sways gently down his back. 

The feelings last only for a moment, because I see the look of pure shock and fear that flashes across Killua’s face when he lays eyes on the needleman. 

“Brother…” Killua mutters, frozen to the spot. My fingers clench into fists unconsciously. As is with Gon, it hurts to see him in pain.

“That’s Killua’s brother?” Leorio says, a little stunned.

I can’t help but think that the Zoldyck family is blessed with beautiful genes.

Still, the tension in the air is palpable.

So is Illumi’s  _ Ren. _

Illumi is speaking, his voice unmusical, his sentences commands- and word by word, Killua’s face becomes more and more disturbed.

“I don’t desire to become a Hunter,” Killua says, in response to Illumi’s taunts. His speech is terse. “But… I do have something I want.”

Sweat, or perhaps tears, trail down Killua’s face.

“You don’t.” A statement by Illumi, not a question.

“I do! There’s something I really want!”

“Mm.” Illumi’s monotone voice suggests nothing and everything simultaneously. “Tell me what it is that you want.”

But Killua can’t answer.

“What’s wrong? There’s nothing you really want, is there?”

“That’s not it!”

The expression on Killua’s face… my heart shatters into pieces. Every single fiber of my body yearns to run and give this broken boy a hug.

“I- I want to become friends with Gon.”

Tears prick at the back of my eyes, and within moments I devolve into silent sobs. Wordlessly, Kurapika puts a hand on my shoulder, and immense comfort passes through me at the touch. 

“I’m sick of killing people. I want to become friends with Gon… and live a normal life.”

I can’t see the two brothers behind the sheen of tears. God, I’m a mess, aren’t I? I don’t remember feeling this emotional when I watched this scene in the anime, but it’s different seeing things play out in front of me.

Kurapika is still patting my shoulder gently, a rhythmic and soothing gesture that reminds me, somehow, of my mother. 

“That’s impossible.” Illumi says. “You’ll never be able to make friends. Your only concern when you meet someone is whether you should kill them or not. That’s how you were trained.”

Killua’s trembling as he meets his elder brother’s eyes.

“You just don’t know how to classify Gon because he’s too dazzling for your eyes.” Illumi continues. “You don’t actually want to become friends with him.”

“You’re wrong.” Killua says, but he doesn’t seem to believe it himself.

“If you stay with him, you’ll end up wanting to kill him one day. You’ll get the urge to see if you can kill him or not.”

Killua’s expression-

“Because you have the soul of a killer.”

When Illumi delivers this line, Leorio’s had enough. His face scrunches up and his shoes clack against the floor as he starts towards the Zoldycks.

He’s stopped immediately by a suited bodyguard, but this doesn’t stop him from saying what he needs to say. “Killua! I don’t give a damn if he’s your brother. He’s a worthless piece of crap! Don’t listen to him! Just beat the crap out of him as usual and win!”

With each word, Leorio’s getting more and more worked up. He’s even more attractive than usual right now.

“You want to become friends with Gon? Are you daft? Both of you are friends already!”

“Mm?” Illumi looks over to the interruption as Killua startles.

“I’m sure that’s how Gon feels!”

“Really?” Illumi puts a hand on his hip. His waist is quite snatched. 

“Hell yes, idiot!”

Did I mention that I  _ love _ Leorio?

“Really? That’s no good. He considers Killua a friend.” Illumi puts a hand on his chin, imitating a thinking pose. Then, completely deadpan, he comes up with his solution. “Okay, I’ll kill Gon.”

Do I love Illumi? Do I hate him? The answers to these questions remain unknown.

xXxXx

Leorio. Bodoro. And the clenching feeling in my gut: The  _ oh shit, it’s now or never. _

The time is now. After Killua forfeits the match against Illumi, Leorio and Bodoro begin to square off for their fight. And I realize that if I’m going to do anything, I need to do it  _ now. _

Killua moves fast. He’s an assassin, of course he does. It’s only by chance that I beat him there. A bodyguard tries to stop me but I kick him in the nuts and push past him.

Leorio and Bodoro look at the interruption, pausing their movements.

The look in Killua’s eyes is chilling, and it fills me to the core with some strange emotion I’ve never really felt. Not pity, exactly, but a strong desire to protect. Even though I know- I  _ know _ \- that Killua is far stronger than I’ll ever be, that the last thing he needs is the protection from a wimp like me. But I can’t just sit back idly, either.

Killua and I don’t exchange any words in the few seconds of silence we have. He doesn’t even look at me. But that’s okay, I think. 

His fingers toughen up, nails sharpen, veins bulge. Things seem to move in slow-motion (cliche, I know) and his clawed nails slash through the air.

Before the hit lands, I kick Bodoro in the crotch.

He collapses, hands held protectively over the royal jewels. My now-signature move has rendered him momentarily still, and I reach out for Killua- maybe to hug him, or perhaps just to stop the path that his murderous hand has taken.

Either way, it doesn’t turn out too well.

I’m in the line of fire.

So, I take the blow.

Blood spurts out of my stomach, out of my mouth. There’s a moment where I feel as if I’m suspended in midair, all the while hot and fiery pain shooting throughout my body. Before I realize what’s really happened, Killua stands, my blood decorating his face and clothes. The expression on his face is not the Killua that I know and love, but someone else entirely.

Excuse me, but what the  _ fuck _ ?

By some absolute miracle I’m still conscious enough to watch his bloody footsteps move away, away from me, away from Bodoro: away from all of us. He opens the heavy entrance doors and slips behind them.

_ Don’t leave! _

Is what I want to say.

But I don’t.

Leorio is by my side in the next instant. Things move in a blur- he picks me up like a princess, which would cause me to faint in cardiac arrest at any other time. But for the moment, there’s too much pain going on everywhere else for me to fully comprehend the situation.

“Bella! Are you okay? Hey, say something!” Leorio’s voice is slightly frantic. His arms, too, are muscly, I note in the midst of the extreme pain.

“Yah, he got me… in the… stomach…” I say in heaves. “Oops…”

“Quick! Let’s get you to a doctor!”

“Mmm…”

God, I’m really delirious right now. Blood dribbles down my chin, staining my pretty blouse. I think my skirt has a large rip in it, too… geez…

“Ah, but you’re in the middle of a match.” Netero’s voice is calm, collected. 

“I’ll forfeit, then.” Bodoro says from the ground, still keeled over from my kick. He is an old guy, after all. “Take her to the medic.”

Leorio nods, and I snuggle closer into the scent of his cologne. I might as well take advantage of the opportunity, anyway. I feel the comfortable sway underneath me as Leorio walks off.

My brain has wandered away, back to my own childhood- before I was Bella and in this mess. When I was small enough for my father to pick me up in his arms when I fell asleep in the car after a long drive, to tuck me into bed at night. A time before I had to worry about school… money... and more recently, surviving in another world.

“Of course, Portabella and Killua will have to be disqualified.” Netero’s voice is agonizingly patient. 

“What? But they-!” with my head against his chest, I can hear the vibrations as Leorio speaks out, although these words of his- or of anyone else- aren’t sinking in. 

“They were interfering with the match. Regardless of their reasons, the rules clearly state that neither Portabella nor Killua will be able to qualify for the Hunter license. And Killua has already left.”

I’m falling in and out of consciousness. This hurts a  _ lot. _ What is Netero saying, anyway? I can’t quite tell…

“But Bella didn’t do anything!” Kurapika retorts from somewhere. “Killua, too. He was under pressure from his brother!”

“The rules are the rules. Sorry!” The slight lilt at the end of Netero’s sentence is annoying. 

Wait.

_ Not able to qualify for the Hunter license? _

I force myself to lift my head, startling Leorio. I stare squarely at the chairman, albeit through bleary vision. 

“Whudy’a meaaan, Neter-o?” My speech is slurred, and I sound absolutely stoned.

Netero, with his stupid ‘lil beard, takes a few steps towards me in his wooden clogs.

“You’ve been disqualified from the exam. You’re welcome to come back next year in another attempt. I wish you good luck.”

Right as realization hits me, so does the pain.

xXxXx

Geez, how many times have I passed out so far?

Also… how the hell am I not dead?

Every inch of me aches, but particularly I can feel it in my abdomen. A dull, permanent throb of pain in my midriff. A quick glance down informs me that my torso has been almost completely covered with bandages, and that my cute fashionable anime girl clothes are bloodied and decorated with rips.

Now what?

I’ve been attacked by Killua, and kicked out of the Hunter exam. This means it’s the end for me, right? I feel sort of helpless. If this is the kind of stuff that happens when I go against canon… is it even worth it to try?

Will I have to leave, leave behind my precious Leorio, Gon, Kurapika, and Killua?

There’s no one else in this room that I am in- and I take this as a sign that I’m free to leave at my leisure. So I hobble out of bed, ignore the pain in my tummy (although it hurts, it hurts like HELL and I am weak), and push open the door.

I’m still on-site of the exam. I guess that I was kept around because of my injuries… Scouring my surroundings, I keep my eyes out for Leorio, Gon, or Kurapika, but I’m not sure what I will do if I see them. I’ve failed, after all. I don’t even deserve to be around them.

I take a seat underneath a large, leafy tree, wondering what to do next. I don’t really have anywhere to go- my existence pretty much began on that ship in chapter 2. Without the boys, I am nothing.

“BELLA!”

I whip my head around to see my favorite doctor boy making a mad dash in my direction. I barely have time to let my jaw drop because, before I know it, Leorio is right next to me.

He pants slightly, hands on his knees as he pauses to catch his breath. “Bella! We were so worried- how are you? Are you okay?”

I’m a little stunned as well as very, very flustered. Kurapika and Gon approach from behind Leorio, and Kurapika gives a knowing look as Leorio begins to fuss over my injuries. 

“Are you guys… Hunters now?” I ask, fighting back the blush that comes with being in such close proximity to the hotties. 

Leorio wastes no time in pulling out his Hunter license, showing off, I guess. It stings a little- I went through all of this bullshit just to stay by these guys’ side, only to mess up big-time in the final phase. I guess it was my mistake to think that being a self-insert would instantly grant me a pass to the Hunter exam...

Noticing my expression, Leorio shoves the card away and clears his throat. “So, Bella, what are you going to do?”

I shrug. “What happened to Killua?”

Gon makes a firm expression. “He went back home, to Kukuroo Mountain.”

“I suppose you’ll be going to get him?”

Gon nods.

“Are you mad at Killua, Bella?” Kurapika questions. His tone is the furthest thing from accusatory, but I can still feel the eyes of the three on me as they await my answer.

I shake my head violently. “No! I could never be mad at him.”

“But he cut you up…” Leorio remarks. As if on cue, my injury throbs and I wince, pressing a hand to my bandaged stomach. 

“Yeah… but, that’s my own fault for getting in the way. And my own fault for interfering with the match, and my own fault for going against canon…”

“Canon?”

“Nevermind!”

“We’re going to Kukuroo mountain to get Killua back.” Gon says resolutely, perking up. “Killua’s my friend.”

My heart warms and I have to resist the urge to let out the biggest “awwww” when he says this, but it’s immediately followed up with sadness. After all, this might be the last time I can see him.

“I understand if you guys don’t want me to stick around, haha. Since I’m so weak and all.” I do my best to laugh it off. “But tell Killua for me…”

“You’re not coming, Bella?” Gon cocks his head to the side.

“You… you want me to come?” Hope sparks in my chest at the innocent expression on Gon’s face.

“Of course! You’re my friend, too!”

There it is. The arrow that pierces the heart. I’m surprised I don’t topple over at the pure serotonin that floods me at Gon’s words. We’re friends? We’re friends!

I am the friend of Gon Freecss!

_ Maybe, just maybe _ , this isn’t over yet.

“It might be dangerous.” Kurapika comments. “The Zoldycks are assassins, after all. I doubt they’ll relinquish Killua so easily. Are you up to it, Bella?”

“As long as I have you three, I don’t care!”

And that’s true. I’d walk through the fiery pits of hell just to see Leorio smile, to see Kurapika laugh, and to see Gon and Killua happy. I’d literally die for these characters- no, these  _ people _ . My friends.

Leorio cocks a grin. “Then, what are we waiting for?”

“I thought something like this might happen, so I bought an extra airship ticket earlier.” Kurapika says, smiling at me. His smiles, while rare, are so pure that it’s like someone’s shining a flashlight right into my face. “See, Bella? It seems you’re not the only one with an excellent guessing skill.”

xXxXx

Traffic.

At the very least I’m glad that I no longer have to be in the driver’s seat. That’s one good thing about being thirteen again, I guess. Not that I was ever a particularly good driver, back then.

I’m crammed in the backseat of a taxi cab next to Kurapika (by the way, he smells pretty good- kind of like how babies smell, but in a really good way). But the car hasn’t been moving very much, as the road we’re following has been congested with traffic.

“This won’t do, we’ll be late for our flight.” Kurapika sighs, glancing at the car’s clock. 

“Old man, do something!” Leorio commands, annoyed.

“I- I’m afraid I can’t help with this traffic.” Our poor taxi driver seems a little on edge himself. “And this is the only road-”

“In that case…!” An idea has crossed Gon, and he puts on a big grin and leans for the car door.

Next thing I know, we’re outside the taxi. The long road is edged by a sidewalk, and on the other side of the sidewalk is calm, glistening water. Of course, Gon’s going to suggest we run- but one quick look at my own condition makes me wonder if I’ll even be able to keep up.

Gon starts sprinting, the rest of us following, but it’s only a couple of seconds before I have to stop and clutch at my stomach. Killua’s attack was no joke.

“Bella! You can’t run!” Leorio looks back and forth, and then as if suddenly deciding, hands off his briefcase to Kurapika. “In that case…”

I’m getting swept off my feet by Leorio- both metaphorically  _ and _ literally. It happens so fast and I’m certain Leorio can hear my heartbeat surpassing NASCAR speeds as I’m being hefted by his strong, strong arms…

Kurapika holds on to Leorio’s briefcase, gives me a smile (so many Kurapika smiles in one day, I’m malfunctioning), and suddenly they’ve started running again. I’m impressed at how Leorio manages to move even while carrying me. He’s much stronger than people give him credit for.

“Oi, Gon! Do you realize how far away the airport is?” Leorio calls mid-jog. 

Gon looks back, face shining. “I want to rescue Killua as soon as humanly possible!” 

Even Leorio is susceptible to Gon’s smile- he and Kurapika glance at each other with a knowing look.

“Fine, you win!” Leorio says.

Kurapika laughs slightly. “This reminds me of the Hunter exam.”

“That’s right!” Gon replies cheerfully. “This is nothing compared to the Hunter exam!”

“Yup, you got that right!” Leorio’s chest rumbles handsomely. My arms are wrapped around his neck so I don’t fall off, and all of the regret I've ever felt seems to melt away because this moment makes it all worth it.

“Okay, race you to the airport!” Gon calls and picks up his pace.

“Oi, I’m carrying Bella! That’s not fair!” Leorio chides playfully. I blush again, because literally how can I not in this situation? How??

“Ready…” Gon leaps up, pumping his arm into the air. “Go!”

And at that, we’re off. Off into golden sunsets, and the promise of adventure.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of an arc... *phew!* 
> 
> Since the very first chapter I had been playing around with the idea that Bella doesn't actually become a Hunter. It only makes sense- she's incredibly lucky, but also incredibly incompetent. Is this a surprise twist? I dunno.
> 
> And the first time we see "Don't leave!" although, I'll be honest, that title doesn't mean that much. I came up with it on a whim, but it works nicely here.
> 
> We're getting so, so close to the crucial moment. I'm quite excited. 
> 
> Also... getting carried by Leorio, not once, but twice? Color me jealous! 
> 
> I hope nobody's disappointed Bella doesn't get to participate in the tournament, but this was based off of Netero's bracket system. "The more chances to win, the more potential." Considering Bella has the potential of like 0, I doubted that she'd be given as many chances as, say, Gon. She ends up disqualified before she can put a foot into the arena...
> 
> Please join me next time for the beginning of the next arc in, "Killua's front door is pretty heavy" ! 
> 
> :)


	12. Killua's front door is pretty heavy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so basically you gotta push open a door

The trip to Padokea, where Kukuroo mountain rests, turns out to be a three-day airship extravaganza. Three days to rest, to recover from my injury- and, well, to think.

Not to get all philosophical or anything, but a lot of people die in Hunter x Hunter. I’m sure I don’t have to remind you of this. That being said, do I have some sort of responsibility to prevent those deaths, because I  _ can? _ Because I  _ know  _ that they’re going to die?

I mean, I’ve seen self-inserts save characters before, but even I’m not sure how easy it is. I saved Bodoro (that lucky bastard)’s life on instinct, but further down the line, what the hell am I supposed to do? When Chimera Ants hits…  _ if  _ Chimera Ants hits? Really, who knows how much my existence will change the course of this universe.

All of this thinking hurts my brain, so I eventually drop the train of thought to focus on the present. Sometime later, I presume, I’ll have to deal with the consequences of such things- but as I used to say when I procrastinated on my essays,  _ I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it _ .

After an initial airship ride, our group transfers to a train which speeds along the countryside. There’s lots of lovely views, and I find myself quite interested in my surroundings. During the exam it was a little hard to gauge the extent of this universe, but in the train car that meanders past lush greenery and extensive mountain ranges I feel a little in awe at this world that Togashi has created.

While my priority right now should be the three boys crammed in the row of seats behind me, I can’t help but think how much fun it would be to explore this world. In my past life I had never managed to go much further past the boundaries of my homeland, and seeing the world laid out so openly in front of me blossoms new ideas into my head.

I can do that later… if I survive, at least. For now, I’ll follow the script that’s been written for me as we go to collect Killua. Then I can worry about the other things. 

Up ahead and out of the morning air, a large mountain looms, looking more formidable than its neighbours. Kukuroo Mountain....

We’re almost there.

xXxXx

“Okay! Thank you for taking the Lamentation Tour today!”

We’ve been welcomed into a tour bus by an enthusiastic guide who almost immediately begins to rattle off Zoldyck family trivia for us. I feel like I’m on some sort of twisted school field trip, except instead of going to see the monkeys at the local zoo we’re visiting the mansion of trained and professional assassins. 

A winding path allows us to approach the mountain’s base, where we’re greeted by a massive set of gates. These are the testing gates, of course, and just looking at them creates a muddled anxiety in my stomach. Those things look HEAVY. 

We depart the bus in clumps, and I take a moment to admire the looming doors. A group of excited tourists from our group snap a few rounds of photos in front of the gates, with me partly tempted to join in- after all, this is Killua’s  _ house! _ Well, the entrance to it, anyway. Who wouldn’t want a souvenir pic?

“Hey, Ms. Guide! What do we have to do to get inside?” Gon asks of our unsuspecting tour guide.

“Little boy, were you listening when I explained it earlier?” Our guide says through a tight smile. 

“Yes, but…” Gon turns to look back at the gates, naive uncertainty plainly written on his face.

“If you go inside, you’ll never get out alive!” She insists. “Assassins live there!”

You mean,  _ beautiful  _ assassins live there.

Yes, this includes Zeno Zoldyck. 

We don’t get to spend much time admiring the cool doors, because two minor characters have gotten themselves into a bit of a pickle in their attempts to breach the gate.

Namely, they’ve been reduced to skeletons.

(aka, dead)

Remember what I was _ just _ saying about people dying in Hunter x Hunter?

Looking at the slightly hairy remains of the two minor characters makes me feel sick to my otherwise empty stomach. The clattering bones are deposited to the ground by a large, clawed paw that emerges from the testing gates’ door, and is followed by an empty silence.

Our tour group gives the appropriate reaction- loud screams and a mad dash for the tour bus. And I am quite, quite close to following suit.

Because damn, I almost forgot that this was a  _ shonen _ and that we would be facing literal  _ monsters _ . 

“He’s only supposed to eat at the designated times…” Zebro, the older man from the guard box at the gate, grumbles from the ground. “Mike! Don’t blame me if you get fat!”

A bit of a lighthearted way to dismiss the two deaths, I suppose.

“Hey! What are you doing! Get on the bus!” Our tour guide waves a flag from the bus door, urging our return. 

“Ah- You can leave!” Gon calls in response, smiling so damn innocently. “We’re staying here.”

Her face drops, and without another word she plops back into the bus. Not wasting a single second, the bus driver steps on the gas, and disappears over the horizon- leaving us alone in front of the gates with two clattering skulls.

xXxXx

If there’s one thing I’ve learned through watching- and experiencing- Hunter x Hunter, it’s that no one can refuse Gon.

No, like, actually no one. Gon pulls ONE cute face and we’re all putty in his little hands.

And that’s exactly how we’ve ended up in the residential cabin of Zebro and Seaquant, just inside the Zoldyck family property. Sure, it was no easy feat to get here- my love of all things canine apparently does  _ not _ extend to the massive doglike monster that is Mike Zoldyck, who brought me quite close to literally shitting myself in fear. 

Inside these servants’ quarters, we are greeted by heavy everything- the door drags across the floorboards, the teacups clunk when they land on the table, and when I try and excuse myself to the toilet it’s a team effort between Leorio and I just to get into the damn room. 

We’re here for one reason, “training”- to open the 2-ton Testing Gates and be worthy of retrieving Killua. And by “we,” I mean “they,” because as Gon, Leorio, and Kurapika suit up into heavy black weighted vests I… just sit there.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t wear one too?” I ask as I watch the three fasten the vests in place. Not that I necessarily  _ want _ to, but I do feel as if I should contribute a little… 

“You should rest, your injury hasn’t healed--yet--” Leorio staggers, his footsteps loud as his entire body is weighed down by his vest. After travelling forward only a few feet he collapses to the ground. “How is it so heavy?!”

“Each weighs 50 kilograms.” Zebro helpfully says, and even my American ass shivers at the number. Sure, I have no idea how much a kilogram is (since I neglected to learn the metric system), but that sounds rough either way. “Please wear it at all times except while you sleep. I’ll gradually make it heavier as you get used to it.”

On second thought, I think I’ll pass on wearing the vest.

But even if I’m excused from the vest, I get my own fair share of the strange, unorthodox training method. A 20 kilogram tea cup is nothing to scoff at, and neither is my tiny bladder when the bathroom is  _ that difficult _ to get into. (Apparently, I’m pushing open 500 kilograms whenever I need to take a piss. Yeah.)

To sleep, we are given an open room with soft beds, a very welcome change to the accommodations we had while travelling here. I mean, it’s a little weird sleeping in the same room as three males, but I trust them- and also, I really don’t have any other choice.

The following days are restless for me. Leorio and Kurapika bust their asses off each day, doing an odd assortment of training exercises prescribed by Zebro, while Gon and I sit and watch. He’s been allowed a vest at the least, but exiled from the training techniques due to his injured and bandaged-up arm (see: Hanzo vs Gon fight).

There’s nothing really for me to do except make small talk with Gon, but I’ve never been that great at talking with kids that aren’t my own cousins, so we end up sitting in silence most of the time. I hate to say it, but… it’s kind of boring.

I just feel useless, I guess. I suppose I had this preconception that being born again all-knowing in this universe would give me some sort of insane advantage that would greatly change the plot of the story, but so far it seems that I have barely made a dent into the lives of these four boys. 

Except for this wound that I have, too, the gnarly gash from Killua… but if anything, it’s proof of what might happen the more canon changes around here. 

But even knowing this, I still feel the desire to accomplish my slightly strange goal. Even if it might kill me, my heart craves the satisfaction that would come with keeping together these characters for as long as I can. I’ve already died once- how bad can it possibly be?

Let’s find out, shall we.

xXxXx

There is one good thing about my wound, and that’s how it gives me extra one-on-one time with Leorio. 

He’ll sit with me, helping me rebandage the wound as he makes snide comments about his training vest. A simple moment of my day, but one that makes my heart go  _ doki-doki! _ when Leorio’s perfectly chiseled face leans closer to mine.

“You should expect a scar from this thing.” Leorio says as he finishes off the bandage in a knot. I blink away any of the  _ thoughts _ I’ve been having and pretend to take interest in his words. “Killua did a number on you. Really, I’m surprised you’re not dead.”

Actually, I am too. At the moment of the attack, I really had expected to die. 

“I’m glad you’re not dead, though.” Leorio gives me a warm grin and causes an almost instantaneous flush of redness to spread across my face.

“Ah- yeah, me too!” 

“Well, back to work it is!” Leorio says, stretching out his arms. I think back to him carrying me in those same arms and my face burns even redder. 

But with that, the small pocket of my day ends as quickly as it comes- with a slight hum under his breath, Leorio goes off to rejoin Kurapika in an activity of gardening with 40-kg shovels.

“Alright, I’ll do something, too.” I mutter to myself in encouragement once I’ve been left alone in the bedroom. I don’t exactly want to pursue harsh training, but if I don’t get at least a little bit stronger, I worry for my future in this intensely shonen anime series. “Maybe I’ll start with, uh... push-ups.”

There’s no one else in the bedroom, so after hyping myself up I get into position on the floorboards. Let’s see, all I gotta do is push, right? I mean, it’s called a push-up, so how hard can it really be-

Within seconds my arms give out and I flop to the floor, the freshly-dressed injury in my abdomen throbbing.

Attempt number two: I struggle back up and prop up on my knees rather than my toes, easing off some of the tension. This is slightly easier, and I manage to get about five or six in before my arms give out.

I don’t remember being  _ this _ bad at basic athletics, but a lot of things have changed since high school P.E… for the moment, I’ll blame my inability on the nasty gash in my stomach and definitely not on the total lack of strength in my upper body.

I keep on trying, the room silent as I pump out the push-ups slowly but surely. When I finally collapse in exhaustion on to the floor, I hear sounds from the doorway and peek up.

It’s... Gon!?  
“How long have you been watching me?” I whisper-yell from the floor, all of my limbs too exhausted to push myself back up again.

Without answering, Gon strides in and sits down next to me. He doesn’t say a word to me, just starts to do push ups- one-armed pushups, I might add.

I’m not quite sure how to react to this twelve year old flexing on me, but my competitive nature flares a little bit and before I know it I’m back on all fours, trying to match Gon’s quick pace. 

“I want to save Killua with my own strength.” Gon says out of nowhere, and I almost break my rhythm. I t _ hink _ he’s talking to me, but then again, I can’t be too sure. “So I’m going to train, too.”

By now, the pain in my stomach has increased tenfold, and I pause to take a break and let my wound rest. Gon keeps going, and I’m amazed at how determined he is. There’s a reason that people seem to bend their wills to accommodate him, and the more time I spend with him, the more I realize.

“You definitely will, Gon.” I tell him as encouragement. “And we’re here to help you.”

Gon’s expression after I say this is a mixture between a smile and something different, some expression that I can’t quite understand… but I’m sure that Gon’s as happy-go-lucky as ever.

… I think.

“YOU TWO!” the bellows of Leorio catch both Gon and I off guard and we tumble simultaneously out of push-up positions. Covered in garden dirt, Leorio waves around a 40kg shovel like a feather as he brandishes it in our direction. “I said that you shouldn’t be overworking yourselves!”

Gon scratches the back of his head bashfully while I try and jolt my brain back into thinking mode. 

Behind Leorio, Kurapika emerges, still graceful even when doused by plant fertilizer. These two have been working hard… And I’ve just been sitting here and complaining.

“Let me help you open the Testing Gates!” I blurt out. 

Leorio eyes me and drops his heavy shovel. “Didn’t I say already, you and Gon should both be recovering from the Exam. Kurapika and I’ll take care of it, right Kurapika? Kurapika?”

Leorio nudges Kurapika with his elbow, who startles slightly. “Ah… yes, that’s right.”

“Come on~” I plead.

“Absolutely not.” Leorio says firmly. 

“We are running out of time, though.” Kurapika comments. “It’s not much longer until Zebro and Seaquant will turn us away. Leorio and I’ll work harder, so that you two can rest.”

“Geez.” By the way, I’m still on the floor, and my completely exhausted physique is likely not helping my case any. “I had time to rest, that’s all I’ve been doing lately.”

“You still need more, Bella.” Leorio crouches down and pats me on the head with his (garden soil-dirtied) fingers. 

_ I’m not a kid, Leorio. We’re literally almost the same a-- _

Well, whatever. I shake the dirt out of my pink hair and ever so slowly push myself into a sitting position.

“Then tomorrow, when we try to open the gates, we’ll make it through.” I say. “I’m getting cabin fever in here.”

“I can’t guarantee that we’ll-”

“We will!” 

Gon stands up and raises his non-injured arm. “Right? We’re going to save Killua. Tomorrow. That’s when.”

Kurapika and Leorio exchange glances.

“We’ll try-”

“No, we will.” Sometimes I forget how straightforward Gon can be, and listening to him talk right now is almost jarring. 

“We’re going to save Killua.”

xXxXx

“Today’s the day!”

If they’re nervous, Leorio and Kurapika don’t let it on. Instead they stretch cheerfully in the morning fog, with Gon and I standing just as unhelpfully beside them as before.

“Why don’t you try removing those vests today?” Zebro suggests to the two. 

“Well, that sounds like music to my ears!” Leorio grins, unclasping the vest immediately. When they toss the black weighted torture devices to the ground, the impact marks a dent in the dirt.

I admit that I am a little glad that I wasn’t made to wear them… 

Leorio and Kurapika march up confidently and press palms against the gates. They take deep breaths… and then they push.

Their forearms wiggle and wobble but the door doesn’t even budge. Beside me, Gon watches them with one of the most intense expressions I have seen on him so far. 

A slight crack opens up, just slightly, but Leorio and Kurapika can hardly push the opening any further… they’re just about to give up…

There’s a sound of rustling as Gon pulls away the white bandage that secures his arm in place and carefully unfastens the heavy vest. He doesn’t say a word as he steps in place between Leorio and Kurapika, his own hands firm against the gate.

Well duh, it  _ is _ a shonen anime. We’re going to win through the power of teamwork.

“We’ll push together in three!”

“Got it!”

“One…”

“Two…”

“Three!”

Everyone pushes at the same time. And just like that, the crack widens and widens and boom, we’re golden, baby. 

Gon is the first to step foot on Zoldyck property as he tumbles down face-first through the opening. With Leorio and Kurapika both panting heavily, I feel slightly (actually, extremely) irrelevant as I slowly slide through the open doors.

Through the gap in the gates, sunlight beams down perfectly on Gon. 

And for just a moment, I can see exactly what Killua meant when he said that Gon was light.

Because with the sun in his favor and with such an expression on his face, Gon sure as hell is shining.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, it has been a month... 
> 
> In the meantime I posted a oneshot to pretend that I'm still alive, but I'll be completely honest in saying I didn't even touch this project for weeks. This was a really hard chapter to write, mostly because the content is just a little... boring? Although it's not something I can just snip out of the narrative. In the end I managed to pull together the chapter. 
> 
> I haven't a title for the next chapter yet, but I can guarantee some fun! We'll meet Canary as well as the other butlers... and who knows, perhaps we'll see some Killua?
> 
> With each chapter we approach the "Don't Leave" moment that I have been playing around with in my mind over and over- I certainly hope you'll stick around! Either the next chapter or the chapter after that shall be the last "canon" chapter before we venture into complete canon divergence. I'm quite excited.
> 
> A few more comments on this chapter. There's a little more on the morality of saving lives and such, but from the beginning this has been meant to be more of a light-hearted story, so I wouldn't worry about things taking a sudden nosedive into dramaland. Well, actually, when Chimera Ants comes around I'll have no guarantees, we'll just have to wait and see~
> 
> Take care of yourselves and have a lovely day~


	13. Canary, Coins, and Killua

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has taken so long to write... and even now I am unsatisfied. Still, I knew that if I did not just publish it now, I would not publish it... ever.
> 
> I quite like Canary. I hope I did her character justice.
> 
> Please see the end for more notes. :)

I really thought that the Zoldyck arc would be smooth sailing. 

We’d walk in, grab Killua, and get the hell outta there. Easy, right?

Well, that’s what I  _ thought.  _ But what I’ve been learning recently is that nothing ever really seems to go according to my plans.

I’m currently very, very lost.

I’m not quite sure how it happened, really. One minute, I was hiking up Kukuroo mountain with Leorio, Kurapika, and Gon. I’d only slowed down for a second to lean against a tree and momentarily relieve the aching pain in my abdomen, when the soil around my foot suddenly broke loose--and the next thing I knew, I was tumbling and tumbling.

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to roll down a hill (not sure  _ why _ you’re wondering that, but I digress) I can promise you that the experience is not pleasant. Dirt gets everywhere, and when I say everywhere, I  _ mean _ everywhere. I’m talking eyes, nose, and other places that you  _ definitely _ do not want dirt to be. My already disheveled clothing has spawned new rips, tears, and a thick layer of dirt and grime.

When I finally stop rolling, it takes a minute to readjust. I’m sprawled out in a bizarre starfish-shape, all the wind in my body thoroughly knocked out of me, and the trees overhead seem to spin and spin like a baby’s mobile.

Where am I?

Panic trickles through me as I realize that my three companions are nowhere to be seen. Actually, I can’t see anyone at all, just trees, trees, trees as far as the eye can see.

I’m alone and lost in Killua’s backyard.

It wouldn’t be nearly as bad had I gotten lost literally  _ anywhere else _ . But this is the Zoldyck family property. The house of, um, a bunch of  _ assassins  _ and their highly-trained butlers.

I could call for help, but I shoot that idea down quickly. Loudly announcing my location while trespassing doesn’t really seem like a bright idea. Besides, all I’ve done so far is rely on the help of others. Surely I can do  _ something _ for myself. It’s only a little mountain, and I’m only a little lost. How bad can it be?

So I pick a direction and start walking.

xXxXx

As I walk, I think. Think about what’s coming next. And my plan for it.

From the moment I arrived in the Hunter x Hunter-verse, my plan has been simple. I want to keep  _ them _ together. 

_ Them  _ being Gon, Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio. 

As time went on and I spent more time in this world and with its people, I solidified that loose phrase into something more coherent. Something meaning, “together until the end.”

Of course, I had considered the drawbacks to this plan. If I could even convince Kurapika and Leorio to stick around, it only opened up a new Pandora’s box of problems. Would the natural plot of Hunter x Hunter follow if the characters remained in a group? Should I even  _ bother _ to keep the plot as is? I mean, knowing what I do from my previous life, I could pretty much stop a lot of things from happening with just a little intervention.

But a part of me remains selfish. I mean, my whole plan has always been selfish. Keeping the gang together is what  _ I _ want.

Haven’t I been selfish enough?

Anyway, how long have I been walking for? 

I am certain that the Zoldyck staff are aware of my presence here (how could they not be? I’ve been maneuvering around in broad daylight, as conspicuous as always), and yet I haven’t encountered any butlers as of yet. This idea somewhat troubles me; am I not even considered a threat to them? 

“Ah, well, it’s not like I wanted to run into anyone anywa--”

A misstep is all it takes. The toe of my boot gets caught in a vine and I face-plant, stopping me mid-sentence.

“Ouch…” with both of my hands slapped over my face to quell the pain, I hastily get to my feet. Somehow, the ground feels… different. Much flatter, with more room to stand. Have I made it to some sort of path?

I peel my hands away from my face and blink.

She stands there solemnly between two fences, her face not acknowledging my existence in the slightest. 

_ It’s Canary! _

I whip my head around, but Leorio, Gon, and Kurapika are nowhere to be seen. Have I

somehow, inexplicably, arrived here… before them?

I approach her, but before I can take more than a few steps she opens her mouth.

“Leave. You are trespassing on private property. I cannot allow you to pass without permission.”

“Oh, right. Um…” I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. The others will come along soon enough, and I’d rather not provoke a fight between Canary and I, since I rather like her and I do, in fact, value my life.

So, I sit down cross-legged.

If Canary is surprised, she doesn’t let it on. She merely watches me with her stern

eyes as I pick up a nearby stick and begin to draw in the dirt in front of me.

The silence is heavy, so I start talking.

“This is Gon.” I say, doodling the loose shape of the green boy in the dirt. I glance up at Canary to see if she’s watching, but she doesn’t seem to particularly care. 

I continue to draw anyway, spiking the hair on Gon’s doodled head. “He’s a cute kid, and I wish to protect him. Even if he is stronger than me, and even if the last thing he needs is my protection.”

I move onto my next dirt-doodle. “This is Leorio. He’s reeeeeaaally good looking. He has a good heart, although he doesn’t always think before he acts.”

Next to Leorio’s doodle, I struggle a little to capture Kurapika’s likeness with the tip of my stick. “Kurapika is very kind, but he has a lot of baggage. I sure hope… he ends up okay.”

For my next doodle, I circle back to Gon’s drawing and start in the space next to him. I draw the fluffy hair, the catlike-eyes…

“And this is Killua.”

When I say this, I can finally sense the tiniest bit of movement from Canary’s direction. It’s not much- a sharp intake of breath from her at the most- but it lets me know that I’ve succeeded in capturing her attention.

“And this is me.” I can’t recall exactly what I look like, so the self-portrait ends up wobbly, but that’s alright. “Portabella. But please call me Bella. All of us, we hang out with Killua. He’s our friend. Very soon, the others will arrive, and we will come and take Killua back.”

“I cannot let you do that.” Something about Canary’s voice is different from before.

“Why not?”

“That is my job.”

Right next to the drawing of myself, I begin a new doodle.

“Then, this one is Canary. She’s a butler from the Zoldyck estate. Her job is to protect Killua and the other Zoldycks.” I peek at her, watching for her reaction. “She wants to take care of him. Wouldn’t that make her his friend?”

“Butlers cannot be friends with the masters.” Canary says curtly.

“Sure you can. So, let’s see. If Canary is friends with Killua, and Killua is friends with Gon, and Gon is friends with Kurapika and Leorio and  _ me _ …” I draw lines connecting each of the doodles as I speak. “Canary and I are therefore friends by association. And we all know that a good friend would let me into the Zoldyck mansion so I can go and get Killua.”

“Your logic makes no sense.” Canary says. She draws out her staff, and I startle away, expecting her to- I dunno, hit me or something with it- but she surprises me by pointing the thin end of the staff at the ground.

Within a few moments, Canary has drawn out her own image into the dirt. A blobby face with voluminous hair is what I assume to be a representation of herself. Then, without moving from her post between the two gates, she draws a long line from her doodled face.

At the end of this long line, Canary draws another face, cat-eyes letting me know that this is supposed to be Killua.

She clears her throat. “This is how far I am from Master Killua.”

I’m caught by surprise by the gentleness of the lines in her drawing.

“You must look at Killua a lot to be able to draw him so well.” I observe, getting off of the ground. I move forward to get a closer look at the doodles, but I can barely take in the faces before something slams me in the face.

The ball end of Canary’s staff sends me flying backwards, and I hit the dirt.

“Ow ow ow!” When I press a hand against my cheek, I can feel hot blood.

“I hope that I don’t have to repeat myself. You are trespassing on Zoldyck property. Come any further, and I will be forced to take care of you.”

“Um…” I reach for my pockets, but I already know that I have basically nothing. And so I end up pulling out a tampon. “I don’t suppose one of these will change your mind?”

Silence.

“They’re Tampax Pearl. Medium size. Probably the most comfortable brand.” I feel like a tele-marketer promoting these things. “I mean, there might be some chemicals in them or whatever, but…”

It’s actually really awkward when Canary says nothing in response, leaving me, bleeding from my face, and holding up my pathetically bright-colored tampon wrappers. I guess they’re only effective for periods and throwing at Hisoka.

“Okay, I get it, you must be more of a pads kind of girl.” I joke awkwardly, stuffing the products back away. 

“Menstrual cup, actually.”

I nearly spit-take. She had said it so suddenly I can’t even tell if she’s joking or not. “Wait, what?”

“You try wearing pads while working as a butler. Menstrual cups are a delight.”

“Canary, I didn’t know you had a sense of humor!” I say, delighted. Okay, maybe period jokes aren’t the most elegant of topics, but at least I’m getting somewhere.

“You know nothing about me. Besides, that wasn’t a joke.” She says, then moves her gaze to above my head. “Ah, look. Your friends are coming.”

It’s true. I turn around to see their silhouettes, and joy leaps around in my stomach. I don’t even realize how much I’ve missed them, but I start waving. “Here! Over here!”

“BELLA!” I hear the distinctive shout from Leorio, and he’s the first to reach me. Before I can even think, I feel myself getting wrapped up into a hug.

My brain goes into overdrive when I feel his unshaven chin on my cheek, the scent of his signature cologne pushing into my nostrils. The moment is heaven, until Leorio quickly pulls away and shakes me by the shoulders.

“We were looking for you, Bella! Gon tried to sniff you out but your scent was all covered up by the trees, and then Kurapika suggested we keep on walking up but I thought we should go and find you, and I’m just so glad you’re okay!”

He says it all so quickly and rapid-fire that I can barely process what he’s saying, and all I can feel is just the heat in my face from being so near to him.

Kurapika and Gon arrive next, and after I am repeatedly asked if I’m alright (“I’m fine, I’m fine!”) the attention of the group is turned to Canary.

“Leave.” Canary repeats her short speech from earlier. “You are trespassing on private property. I cannot allow you to pass without permission. This is where I draw the line-”

She pauses, and I see something in her eyes. An emotion we haven’t seen yet. Embarrassment?

Very quickly, Canary uses the rounded end of her cane to sweep away the dirt doodles of Killua and herself. Then she clears her throat, drawing a new line in front of her.

“As I was saying, I draw the line here. If you take one step beyond this line, I’ll have to remove you by force.”

Before anyone else can react, Gon puts up a hand and starts walking forward. No one says anything as his toe crosses the line-

\- and a smack from Canary’s cane blasts him backwards.

Leorio and Kurapika seem ready to react. Leorio has his knife out, and Kurapika prepares his wooden weapons- but Gon calls out at them to stop.

“Don’t interfere. Let me handle this. Owww.”

I look at Canary, but she’s actually looking at me, not at Gon.

“If you want to protect your friend,” it seems as if Canary is directly speaking to me, “Then all of you should leave.”

“We don’t intend to fight you.” Gon says, rubbing his face. “We just want to see Killua.”

Canary’s face softens ever so slightly.

“Well, I am simply following orders.” Canary says, holding her cane up in front of her. When Gon tries again, he’s sent flying.

It’s hard to watch. I feel the strong urge to stop him as I watch him get smacked over and over again, but I hold myself back. 

The sun sets, and it is as if we are locked in a trance. How many hits has Gon taken by now? My drawings in the dirt are long gone, the dust kicked up from Canary’s attacks hiding the silly doodles.

One side of Gon’s face seems to be swollen shut. He looks awful. Canary hasn’t broken so much as a sweat, but the expression gracing her face is much different from before. 

A single tear rolls down her cheek. 

“Stop it.” She turns her head down. “Stay away!” 

When Gon steps over the line once again, Canary takes a moment longer to bash him away.

“Cut it out! This is all futile! And you, you should be stopping him! You’re his friends, right?!”

“There’s no problem. I’m here to see my friend.” Gon raises his fist. “I’m here to see Killua!”

This time, when he crosses the line, Canary doesn’t do anything.

“You have a heart. When Killua is mentioned, your eyes get soft.”

Canary ever so slowly lowers her staff, and her eyes scan the ground. I realize what she’s looking at- a line from the doodle of Killua she had made earlier, the small part of the drawing remaining which she didn’t finish erasing.

A few more tears spill out of her eyes. “Please… Help Master Killua.”

And then a bullet slams into her head.

xXxXx

_ She’d only been knocked unconscious. _

_ We’re walking up, up the mountain even further. Night is falling quickly. _

_ “Portabella…” _

_ Her words surprise me. _

_ “It’s Bella, call me Bella.” _

_ Canary pauses before she speaks again. _

_ “Can I really be a friend?” _

_ I look at her in surprise. “What, to Killua? Or to… me?” _

_ She does not respond. _

xXxXx

The butler’s office treats us very well. 

Gon is fussed around by butlers, his swollen face treated instantly, and I find myself being pulled aside by a female butler in a low ponytail. Before I can protest, she’s already yanked off my clothes and changed the bandages on my stomach, as well as shoved me into a new change of clothes; a pair of dark blue pants and an oversize white button-up. It’s clear to me that these are just spare items of the Zoldyck butler’s uniform, and I wonder if I’m even allowed to wear them.

Also, pants are so  _ not _ my thing. I’ll have to get my hands on a new skirt ASAP.

“Ah, hey, wait-” I mumble as the butler begins to paw through my old pieces of clothing, grunting at the copious amount of dirt laced with the fabric. “Can I, um, at least keep the tampons?”

She eyes me questioningly.

But those clothes and tampons are what I came into this world with. For some reason, it just feels wrong to dispose of them right now.

After a moment’s thinking, she tosses the pouch to me, and I stuff it into the pockets of the pants and stand up.

The butler takes a firm grip on my shoulder. “Not done yet. I still need to treat your face.”

“That’s fine! It’s fine.” I say, holding up my hands. “I should get back to the others now.”

“No, you are a Zoldyck guest.” She insists, and I eventually comply, allowing her to apply a sticky bandage to my cheek. This butler is very motherly, and her rough-yet-kind treatment is reminiscent of my own mother, causing sadness to stir up in my heart. I miss my family.

When all that’s said and done, I feel like a whole new person when I sit down next to Leorio on the couch in the main room. The head butler Gotoh sits across from us. 

The coin game comes next. With precise hands, Gotoh sends his golden coins flying through the air. (For the record, I do terribly in the game and am eliminated almost immediately).

It all comes down to the last coin. The room is so still, you could probably hear a pin drop.

“The coin is in the hand of the person behind me.”

When Gon says this, the anxious butler behind him spreads open his fingers to reveal it; the coin, sitting neatly in his palm.

And then the butlers clap, but I’m not paying attention, for the door behind us has suddenly opened up. An all-too familiar voice speaks from the gap.

“Gotoh, is Gon here yet?”

It’s- it really is him-- it’s-

“Killua!” Gon cries.

“Hey! You’re here, Gon!”

It’s pretty hard to fight off my emotions right now, as I’m exhausted, so a tear springs to eye at the sight of him in all of his Killu-glory. Also, his outfit right now is really, really good. Like damn, Killua’s got drip for sure. 

“Along with… Kurapika!” Killua points to the blonde.

“I’m just an afterthought?” Kurapika sighs.

“And… Liorio!”  
“It’s Leorio!”

And then he turns to me.

He pauses, and I’m unsure of what to do. Perhaps I should wave? But then Killua opens his mouth and says something completely unexpected.

“No way. You’re alive?”

I recoil at his words.  _ Wait, what? _

“Didn’t I kill you?” Killua says bluntly, leaning towards me a little. “Your name was… Bell!”

“It’s Bella.” I nearly snap at him. What the hell?  
“Oh, right. Bella. Hm, I and I felt a little bad about it, too.” Killua scratches the side of his face thoughtfully. “I don’t usually fail when I try to kill someone. What trick did you pull to survive?”

“Trick? I didn’t pull any tricks. And I didn’t get away clean either, you left me with a nasty injury  _ and _ stopped me from becoming a Hunter!”

“Oh, well. So, Gon! It’s been a while. I can’t believe you came. What happened? Your face is a wreck!” Killua’s already moved his attention away from me, and when he speaks to Gon, his cold demeanor transforms. Looking at the Killua before me, you’d never expect him to be a high-level assassin. 

“Yours isn’t any better!” Gon grins back at him. 

“Hey, Gotoh. I told you to let me know as soon as they arrived.” Killua says indignantly to his butler. “What were you doing?”

As Gotoh explains, I watch Killua’s face. There’s something so incredibly enchanting about it, and I mean this in the least-creepy way possible. You could look for days and days, I think, and still never really understand the true scope of everything that Killua is. 

“Anyway, let’s go somewhere else. Just anywhere else right now.” Killua tells Gon. “If we stay here, my mom will give us an earful!”

Gon nods and smiles.

“Sure!”

xXxXx

Leaving Kukuroo mansion is much, much easier than entering. 

We don’t linger in the town for too long, almost immediately boarding the train to get us out of there. And if I felt like a third (or fifth) wheel before, that feeling has intensified since Killua came back.

Gon and Killua really are like two peas in a pod. They barely separate throughout the trip, and there is never a moment of silence as they talk. When one boy stops, the other immediately picks up where he left off. It’s fascinating to watch, even if it makes me feel… sad.

“I already decided.”

We’re sitting in the train car that rattles away. Killua’s chided Gon for not using his Hunter license to travel, only for Gon to reply with this;

“I’m not using the license until I’ve finished what I need to do.”

“What is it that you need to do?” Killua asks eagerly. 

Gon rummages through his stuff. “It’s regarding the tag that Hisoka gave me!”

I haven’t heard the name Hisoka in a good week or so, and the name sends a shiver down my spine. 

“I’ll return this to Hisoka when I punch him in the face!” Gon explains sincerely, brandishing Hisoka’s 44 plate. “Until I do that, I won’t use my Hunter License. I can’t go back to Whale Island either.”

“I see. So, where’s Hisoka, then?

Gon seems taken aback, as if he’d never even considered the possibility. “Actually…”

“Gon, I know where he is.” Kurapika says.

“Really? How?” Leorio asks.

“Well, he told me.”

“So that’s what he said during your fight?”

“No, this was after the Hunter orientation. But I suppose it is related…”

“I’ve been meaning to ask.” Leorio says, “What  _ did _ Hisoka say to you then?”

“He told me… ‘ _ regarding the spider…’ _ ”

“The Phantom Troupe?”

“I don’t recall mentioning the Phantom Troupe to Hisoka. He either overheard our conversation during the first stage, or he heard of it somewhere else. He must be familiar with the Troupe, to call them by their symbol… So I was interested in his information.”

_ If only you knew, Kurapika…  _ I find myself thinking. It’s requiring every last fiber of my being not to blurt out the information I have. But I must think clearly.

“After the orientation, I asked him about it. And he said… that he would be waiting in Yorknew City, on September 1st.”

“What’s going to happen in Yorknew City?” asks Gon.

“The auction!” I can’t stay silent anymore. The other four turn to look at me, and I gulp.

“Correct. From September 1st to September 10th, the world’s largest auction is held in Yorknew City. Unusual items, rare goods, and national treasures from around the world are all cultivated there.”

“So, the troupe will be there?”

“They’re a group of bandits. They would not let this chance escape… And Hisoka will be somewhere in Yorknew City on that day, too.”

“September 1st… got it, thanks.” Gon grins.

Wait. this is-- are they already planning their separation? 

I glance over each of the boys in the train car.

Leorio. Doctor-to-be. He’ll be taking the time until September 1st to study.

Kurapika. The revenger. He’ll be getting a job, growing his hair out, and changing. Changing so, so much.

Killua. The ex-assassin. And Gon. The… protagonist. They’ll be off at Heavens Arena.

This isn’t what I want.

But am I even allowed to do what  _ I  _ want?

“Hey, guys, I need to talk to you all about something.” I say quietly.

“Mm?” Kurapika acknowledges. 

“It’s about… well, how do I say it?” My heart hammers in my chest. All of this time I have been leading up to this, and yet I hadn’t even thought of what to say. How am I supposed to convince them to stay?

“Umm… Leorio! Kurapika!” I stand up, as if that’s going to make my point clearer. “Please!”  
“‘Please’ what?” Leorio asks, confused.

“Yes, what is it, Bella?”

I take a deep breath. It’s all or nothing.

“Please… “

_ Don’t leave! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!
> 
> I apologize for the pacing issues of this chapter. These last two chapters have been the absolute hardest to write, and if you're wondering about the quality dip, well, that's probably why.
> 
> However, the exciting stuff happens... now! (next chapter, I mean).
> 
> The next chapter is titled, "Don't Leave!" and this is where we will see canon really breaking apart. I am also hoping to establish Bella's character a little more in this upcoming arc. I understand if people are frustrated with her (hell, I am too, and I basically AM her) but I hope you'll stick around to see what I have in store.
> 
> Because the next chapter is so crucial I cannot guarantee a quick release. I'm a rather busy person who writes this as a hobby. Hopefully it won't take too long, but I'll make no promises.
> 
> Thank you for any and all comments. Please have a nice day and stay safe~


	14. Don't Leave!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the moment we've all been waiting for!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry for the looooooooong wait! More notes at the end of the chapter!

“Please…”

One would think that, after having spent all this time leading up to this very moment, I would have found the right words to say. 

But nothing comes to mind. My brain is blank, smooth as a glass, and I can’t conjure up a single word. I simply stand there, frozen, eyes darting back and forth from each of the boys in the train car. 

There’s only two words that I have to say.

Just say it, Bella! 

I’ve taken too long, and Killua breaks the awkward silence, irritated. “Are you going to say something or not?” 

Meanwhile Kurapika looks at me kindly, waiting patiently for me to speak, and Leorio’s got his attention on me too. 

I take a shuddering breath.  _ Just say it already. _

“Don’t leave, alright?”

When the words finally escape my mouth, they hang in the air, and I’m met with silence from my companions.

Kurapika is the first one to look away. “I can’t do that.”

“Huh? Kurapika? Bella? What’s that mean, anyway? ‘ _ Don’t leave’, _ whaddya even mean by that?” Leorio looks from me to Kurapika, clearly confused. “Hello? Bella?”

“It means… I want you to stay with me…” My heart is sinking as I watch the expressions in the train carriage change. The atmosphere takes a drastic shift.

Killua holds a hand out protectively towards Gon. “If you mean you want to hang with us until the auction, then I’m not gonna let you. Gon and I are going training together.”

Gon looks to Killua, but he doesn’t make a comment.

Leorio leans back in his seat, rubbing the back of his head. “Well, yeah, come to think of it… I should be studying since I have my license now. I want to get into medical school. Sorry, Bella.”

“And my time here is done.” Kurapika says calmly, avoiding my glance. “Now that Killua is safe, I’d like to be employed as a Hunter and get some money to participate in the auction.” 

My bottom lip trembles heavily. Everything is falling apart. 

“Bella, do you have somewhere to go?” Leorio finally looks at me again, concern in his eyes.

I shake my head. Come to think of it, I really do have nowhere to go. I literally spawned into this world on that ship that day. I have no history, no family… nothing here.

“There’s no one.” I say quietly. “So please, don’t leave me alone.”

Leorio clears his throat. “If there’s nowhere for you, you could always come back home with me?” He says it like a question, as if he himself is unsure of what he’s offering.

With that, a new future flashes in my mind: a future of me and Leorio, studying for an exam, eating together, working, far away from the drama of this world. The offer is tempting… but it isn’t what I want.

“No, I don’t want it.” I shake out the dream from my head. “I won’t accept it.”

Leorio looks away awkwardly. I can feel my grip on these four slipping away with each passing second. What do I do now?

“A compromise!” My mind flounders. “That’s right, let’s compromise.”

“On what, exactly?” Kurapika asks.

“One year. We stay together for one year only. How does that sound?” 

They shift uncomfortably in their seats.

“Killua.” I address him sharply. “You’re going to Heavens Arena, correct?”

“What? You--how do you know?”

“Take us with you. Me, Kurapika, Leorio.”

“Bella, what are you saying?” Leorio grumbles. “I told you, I need to study-”

“Well, you can do that at the arena! And Kurapika--you can make plenty of money there. Lots, especially with your skill. So--”

“Hey,  _ you.” _ Killua addresses me crudely, and I can tell that he holds little respect for me, a blow that hurts worse than the one he delivered to my abdomen weeks before. “When did I ever say  _ you _ could tag along?”

“You didn’t, but…”

“Why do you want us to stick together so desperately, Bella?” Kurapika asks. “You must have a reason, right?”

Wait, what is my reason, exactly? Uh...

“It’s… a very, very, super-duper mega-important reason.” I say. “Um. Yeah.”

Kurapika waits expectantly, but I’m unable to provide any other answer. I’m not quite sure how to explain this feeling that I have, the feeling that so desperately wants to keep this group of shonen anime protagonists together.

When it becomes clear that I have nothing else to add, Kurapika speaks.

“One year, Bella?” He asks me. 

I flinch at being addressed, and nod. “Yeah, a year.”  _ I think, since that’s when Chimera Ants is... _

“The revenge of my clan does not wait a year.” Kurapika says, and although he says it softly, his entire body goes rigid in the seat. I’ve somewhat forgotten how dramatic and emo Kurapika can be.

_ Thump. Ba-dump. Thump. Ba-dump.  _

My heart slams against my chest. I may not understand Nen and aura just yet, but the feeling that emanates from Kurapika right now is one that I do not want to mess with.

“That being said, I cannot take on the Phantom Troupe as is.” Kurapika holds up his palms in front of him, inspecting them. “Heavens Arena, you say?”

I nod, just slightly. I’m a little scared of him at the moment, to be honest.

Kurapika turns to look at Leorio. “I’ve heard of Heavens Arena before. It seems like we can make a lot of money there, if we try. And for me, it’s a training opportunity. I must become strong enough to crush the Troupe.”

His slim hands ball into fists.

“Bella, I cannot promise to stay for a year, or even for half. But until the auction, I will stay with you.” He gives a grim smile, determination set in his clear grey eyes. “Leorio?”

“But-” Leorio’s voice falters a bit. He, too, has detected that stream of malice coming from Kurapika, and has safely decided not to mess with it. “Well, I guess I can study anywhere…”

“Still, I never said you guys could come along!” Killua says this, sounding more like a whining child than anything. “Gon and I were going to go together.”

“It’s okay, Killua.” Gon says, finally saying something. He smiles at me warmly. “WIth everyone, it’ll be lots more fun!”

Killua pouts a little, but then twists it into a smile. “Yeah, you’re right. Besides, Porty probably can’t make it past the first floor.”

“Porty?” I yelp, aghast. “My name is Bella, you idiot!” I wave an arm at him. 

And then Leorio starts laughing, Kurapika smiles, and suddenly I’m giggling, too. With that, all of the nerves have evaporated out of my body. 

I think things will be okay. 

“Don’t leave.” I whisper into my hands, and smile to myself. 

I did it… they didn’t!

xXxXx

And before I know it, we’re inside the green airship that chugs away in the sky, headed towards Heaven’s Arena.

Leorio brings over a tray of soda cups, and we each take one. I drink in small sips as I clutch at the paper cup, letting the bubbles in the carbonation soothe my jumping nerves. This is the first major step out of canon territory, and I’m terrified at what’s going to happen next.

“So, what exactly is this Heavens Arena place?” Leorio asks, drinking his own cup of soda and taking a seat.

“Well, Gon needs to train before he can land a punch on someone like Hisoka. So I thought, we can’t train by normal means. That’s why we’re going to Heavens Arena.” Killua explains. “We can train  _ and _ make money at the same time.”

“By doing what, exactly?” Leorio mutters. “I don’t want to do anything but study--”

“You can study all you want after you make it to the 100th floor.” Killua says. “That’s when you get your own private room. That is, if you make it that far.”

“Wait, I still don’t get it?” Leorio rubs his head, confused. “What kind of place is this?”

Kurapika clears his throat. “Then I’ll explain. Heaven’s arena is made up of 251 stories…”

I place my mostly untouched soda in a cup holder and gaze out the window as Kurapika explains. Now that we’ve made it past the first major hurdle, I should start thinking about what’s coming next.

I’ve only secured Leorio and Kurapika until the auction… and even I have not a clue what will happen then. Surely Kurapika’s decision to stay with us instead of go off and work for the Nostrades will have some impact on the plot, and I am unsure how that will play out. 

And Heaven’s Arena itself… I suppose I’ll have to participate if I want any sort of security. I have no Hunter’s license… no money… literally nothing to my name except for a couple of tampons.

And by the way, I haven’t even had my period in this world yet. Maybe Bella’s a late bloomer. Either way, it makes the tampons completely useless. I should’ve just asked for money.

“But what I’m worried about most is… you, Bella.” Kurapika’s mention of my name makes me startle in my seat and I turn to face him.

“Huh? Why?”

“Aren’t you still injured from Killua?”

My hand flies automatically to my stomach. “...No!”

“Are you quite sure?”

“...yes…?” I mumble. 

“I know Gon, Killua, and I can take care of ourselves.” Kurapika says, and then raises an eyebrow at Leorio. “Him too, even.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Leorio scowls. 

“But, Bella, you’re still injured, and you haven’t been taught how to fight. How do you expect to survive at Heaven’s Arena?”

Well, I don’t, actually, expect to survive. But Kurapika raises a good point… 

“Still injured, ha! I did a good job.” Killua sharpens his nails and sticks his tongue out mockingly at me.

“You didn’t do such a good job if you were trying to  _ kill me _ , you moron.” I mutter, clutching loosely at my side. I mean, it’s  _ mostly _ healed. Like Leorio predicted, there’s now a long scar that stretches across my abdomen, and it stopped openly bleeding a while ago. But the pain is constant, and I can feel it even now.

If Killua hadn’t such a pretty face, I doubt I would have forgiven him so easily.

“I think I’ve been relying on you guys enough. I want to train myself at Heaven’s Arena.” I say.  _ Perhaps I can learn Nen, too. _ “That way I’m not a burden to have around.”

“If you say so.” 

The fact that Kurapika doesn’t deny I’m a burden hurts a bit, but I try not to let it bother me too much. 

What I should be doing right now is celebrating my victory. My victory of changing the plot, that is. I feel as if I should be relaxing now, but knowing what’s coming makes me feel more uneasy than not.

Heaven’s Arena, I’m ready to take you on. 

xXxXx

Heaven’s Arena lives up to its name, as a tall, oddly-shaped tower  _ thing _ made of stone. It’s massive, way too much to take in all at once, and yet we’re forced to as we join the horrendously long line which wraps around the base of the building.

At the front of the line is a little kiosk, where a woman in a pink uniform pushes some forms underneath the glass partition. “Welcome to Heaven’s Arena. Please fill out this form.”

I stare at the form for a moment, trying to comprehend what it says. This world has a weird writing system, and I haven’t actually tried writing anything in it yet. This will be… new.

“Your handwriting sucks, Porty.” Killua jeers when I finish, mocking the wobbly words decorating my page. 

“It’s BELLA.” I remind him yet again, shoving the form back to the woman with a  _ humph. _ Really, why couldn’t I have chosen any other name?

Once all of our forms are collected, the woman types a few things into her computer keyboard. “Killua Zoldyck, you are 2054. Gon Freecss, you are 2055. Portabella Mushroom (I cringe), you are 2056. Kurapika Kurta, you are 2057. And Leorio Paladiknight, you are 2058.”

She continues. “They’ll call your number on the first floor of the arena, so make sure you remember it. Now, please go ahead.”

That’s all for registration? I guess so.

Killua leads the way into an open and noisy arena. There’s hundreds, if not thousands of seats that rim the battle area, which consists of several raised platforms. My stomach turns at the sight of all the clearly strong individuals tossing each other around on the platforms. That’s what I’ll have to do, very, very soon.

Am I up to it?

The correct answer is: not in the  _ slightest. _

We slide into some empty seats. Gon and Killua seem relatively unbothered.

“Man, the place hasn’t changed at all.” Killua says. 

“You’ve been here before?” Kurapika asks him. 

“Yeah. For training, when I was six. I wasn’t allowed to go back until I cleared the 200th floor. It took me two years.” He says it with an amount of pride in his voice. 

“That’s insane! You were so young!” Leorio says. 

Killua shrugs.

“Well, if we want to fight people at Hisoka’s level, we’ll have to climb even higher.” Killua says.

“I don’t want to spend two years here…” Leorio grumbles.

“We won’t.” Kurapika says, with calm assuredness. “We’ll climb it sooner. Much sooner. No, we’ll go to the top.”

“Number 1973, Number 2055.” Calls the announcer, “Please enter Ring E.”

“Hey, that’s me!” Gon jumps up and slides off his little backpack. “Oh, I’m kind of nervous now!”

“Good luck, Gon.” Leorio says, but he looks even more nervous than Gon does.

“Gon.” Killua settles back and grins. “You got through the Testing Gate, right? So, all you need to do is… push.”

“What kind of advice is that?” Leorio grunts.

“Hmm…” Gon ponders it. “Okay! See you later!”

I barely have time to settle down and watch Gon’s fight, because the next thing I know the announcer is calling out a new set of numbers.

“Number 2056, Number 2032. Please enter Ring A.”

I fumble for a second as the eyes of my group pan towards me. Shit, that’s my number!

“Bella! You know, you don’t have to go!” Leorio calls. “You can always drop out!”

“I’ll be fine.” I muster up every drop of courage that I have (it’s not much) and stumble to the stairs. “Don’t worry. I’ve got this!”

Or so I say. In reality, I’m crapping my pants as I shuffle down the steps. 

“Ring A, Ring A…” I mutter under my breath. “Ah….”

My opponent is already standing in the ring.

Looks like I’m in trouble.

_ Shit. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's a short chapter! Yes, it's been two months! I'm sorry!
> 
> I'd planned this to be a double upload because this chapter is really just a buffer to move between the first part of the story and the second, but the holiday season got in the way and well... you know. There's a LOT going on right now and there's especially a lot going on in my personal life, so I'm glad I even got this chapter out. I hope it, ahem, lives up to expectations... It's actually one of the shortest chapters so far, which I didn't plan for, but... It's definitely not perfect. Maybe a little rushed. Ah, well. We're getting to the good stuff now, completely off of canon! Bear with me for a bit.
> 
> Good news, the next chapter is already written and is awaiting editing. The tentative title is "I get beat up at Heaven's Arena" but that could change as I edit. I hope to get it up before the new year. Hope to see you there!
> 
> Cheers!


	15. I attempt Floor One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Portabella the incompetent vs Floor One of Heavens Arena. What could go wrong...?

My heart rate accelerates immensely as I walk as slowly as possible towards the ring. As I walk, I run over a list of possible moves I can pull on the opponent I’m currently approaching.

Well, there’s always the trusty kick to the crotch, which has yielded positive results for me in the past. But, sizing up the person on the platform, my hopes are low.

It’s a man, standing tall--taller than Leorio, or so I think. So tall that if I kicked, I’m not even sure these stubby legs I’ve got would reach the nuts. 

But that isn’t what makes me terrified for my own life. It’s the fact that his fist looks to be the same size of my head, and that his bloodshot eyes are hungrily aimed on me.

I nervously glance back at the seats I came from, but only Killua and Leorio are still seated. I catch sight of Kurapika weaving through the seats towards the platforms--I guess he’s been called for a match while I wasn’t paying attention. Leorio’s eyes sweep between my platform and Gon’s, and Killua doesn’t even bother to watch me.

_Wow, okay._

I turn away and take the last staggering step into the ring. Behind me, I hear jeers and shouts. I pick out hints of conversation, phrases that do nothing to help with the boiling pot of nerves in my stomach or my sweating palms.

_“That little girl is gonna get destroyed!”_

_“Not him?”_

_“Martial arts champion…”_

_“Not even fair!”_

_“Run for it, kid!”_

The taunts offend me, but at the same time, I have to agree. It’s clear that my level doesn’t match up at all to his. If I had to rank my current confidence on a scale of 1 to 10, it’d be sitting at a nice negative 83.

I plant my combat boots firmly into the ring, perhaps a little too hard--my knees lock into position and an immense fear overtakes me. And then my legs just give out all together, and won’t move, no matter the commands my brain directs at them.

Well, this is a problem.

“On the first floor, we appraise the level of each of the participants.” The referee standing to the side of the ring begins to explain in a monotonous voice. “You are allowed three minutes to demonstrate your prowess.”

He glances at the both of us, and I sense an amount of pity from his eyes as he sizes me up compared to the other guy. 

“Then, begin!”

After he says these words, all the noise in the stadium is drowned out by a ringing silence in my ears. The man opposite me cracks his knuckles, and he’s saying something, but I can’t seem to process any of the words.

He draws back his fist.

I panic.

The fist slams into my stomach.

I’m sent flying.

_Wheee._

No, like, literally. Colors flutter past my vision, and my body feels weightless. The martial artist’s punch sends me shooting backwards, well-away from the ring. 

I collide into something, something soft and very human-like, and my body thuds limply against the ground.

The ceiling spins and spins above me. It’s hard to process everything that has just happened.

Of course, what was I even expecting, being thrown into Heaven’s Arena with no training or experience whatsoever? The body of Bella is weak, there’s no denying that, and it seems my unbelievable luck has started to run out.

“He’s unconscious!”

I blink at the sound of a referee’s voice, and finally reality clicks into place. 

The punch has carried me onto another platform, and I must have collided with someone else… still dizzy, I scooch away from the collision site. A macho-looking dude lies unconscious. 

_What’s happened?_

“This match is inconclusive due to interference.” The judge of this ring states. 

“That’s a shame.” says a new voice. A voice that I recognize. Wait.

Out of all the matches I could have flown into, it had to be his?

“Kurapika?” I announce in disbelief.

But the effort to speak sends me into a fit of coughing, and blood sprays out of my mouth. Ewwww. Oh, that’s nasty.

“Bella, you’re hurt. Get up.” Kurapika says gently. He bends down next to me and pulls my arm over his shoulders.

“It doesn’t hurt that much.” I mutter, self-conscious from being so close to him. With this arm slung over his shoulders, I can feel the ends of his soft blonde hair, and it’s contributing to my already racing heart.

“You’re in shock.” He turns to the referee. “Will we get another chance for a match?”

The judge, currently preoccupied with slapping the unconscious man awake, looks to Kurapika. “Yes, you’ll be allowed a rematch, and her number will be called again later. However, you won’t have priority. Expect a wait.”

“That’s fine. Bella, come on. Walk.” Kurapika speaks calmly and assertively, taking slow steps with me down the ring and towards the seating area. 

“Did--did I ruin your match, Kurapika?” It’s a little hard to articulate words. I feel buzzed. I think perhaps Kurapika is right--I’m in shock. 

“Well, that’s one way to say it.” Kurapika says, matching his footsteps to mine. “I would have beaten him if not for your intrusion.”

I hang my head. Craaaaap… 

“Still, it’s a good thing you collided into _someone_ instead of _something_.” He comments. “You’ll be alright. Okay, step up now…” He trails off as my ankle slams into a step and I buckle. 

“I’m so sorry!” I apologize profusely as my feet fumble. The noise has started up again, the sounds of shouts and calls towards the many ongoing matches. I hear a few snickers wafting in my direction as Kurapika continues to guide me up steps.

This is so embarrassing.

Eventually we make it back to our seats, and Kurapika has to force me to sit down. I feel really, really, really out of it.

“Bella! Bella!” Leorio shakes me by the shoulders lightly. 

“Leorio!” I want nothing more than to throw my arms around him in a hug, but I restrain myself. 

Leorio looks over to Kurapika. “She needs a rest. What about your match?”

“Inconclusive. I’ll be allowed a rematch.”

“And Bella’s?”

“They’ll call her number again later.”

“Called it, Porty.” Killua smirks, grinning at me. “‘Knew you didn’t have what it takes. Why don’t you just go home?”

“I told you, I don’t have a home.” I mumble. I don’t have the energy to come up with some snarky response.

Killua _humphs_ and turns back to Gon.

Leorio is digging through his briefcase, pulling a little bottle of pills out and handing it to me. “Ibuprofen,” he explains. “Take it.”

“I’m going… to… get… some water.” I say and hold out a shaking hand for the pill bottle. “But, it doesn’t… hurt, you kno---OUCH!”

The delayed pain hits me all at once, and I keel over. The pain is manageable, much more manageable than the time that Killua slashed me, but it still hurts enough to make my eyes water. 

But this time, I won’t allow myself to faint. I’m weak enough as it is.

“I’ll come with you, Bella.” Kurapika says, and he helps me up. I’m moved by his kindness.

“Should I come, too?” Leorio questions anxiously.

“No! If--if they call your number, you need to be out here. So, I’ll go by myself.” I try to shake off Kurapika’s hand, but his hold on me is firm.

I don’t protest too much as Kurapika guides me out of the stadium.

xXxXx

A handful of Ibuprofen later, I’m starting to feel like myself again.

I’m currently stationed in the womens’ restroom, which is noticeably empty. And clean, quite clean, which I wasn’t expecting from a place like this.

I splash cold tap water from the sink on my face, and look up to the mirror. It’s always a little jarring when I catch glimpses of this face--my face. It’s just so different. Even though it’s been, how long since I was dropped into this universe? Several weeks, definitely. I still haven't gotten used to these features.

What’s also very noticeable in the mirror is the huge pile of pink atop my head. “This hair is a problem, isn’t it.” I say to myself, tugging lightly on it. When I move my head too much, it messes up my line of vision.

I’d like to get it all out of the way, so I decide to braid it, one long, chunky braid that pulls on the back of my head a bit because of all the weight. I’ve got no hair ties, so I bust out the tampons again and use the string to finish off the end. 

“Alright, Bella.” I talk to the face in the mirror, “Let’s go.”

Outside the bathroom, Kurapika waits, leaning up against the wall and watching the television mounted opposite. “Right on time, Bella. Leorio’s about to go.”

He’s right. The television shows panning shots of the different floor one matches, and right now, it’s focused on the handsome doctor boy that we know and love. Killua’s match had also been shown on the TVs earlier, too, but he’d won so fast that there was hardly any footage for us to watch.

“You think he’s going to be okay?” I ask, nervous. After all, him even being here is far outside the realm of canon. I haven’t a clue how things are going to go. 

“He’ll be fine.” Kurapika assures. “Leorio is strong. He’s got willpower. And he’s much smarter than you’d think.”

I really can’t tell if Kurapika is complimenting or digging at him.

Kurapika’s prediction is correct, though. While his opponent manages to get a few hits on him, Leorio’s resilience allows him to knock the other guy off the platform, after they trade a few blows.

Leorio does a wholesome victory dance on the platform as the judge hands over a little ticket to him. I take a breath of relief.

“That’s good.” I let a smile bloom on my face. It would be untrue for me to say I had no doubts whatsoever about Mr. Leorio’s fighting skill set, but the more I get to know him, I realize that the last thing he needs is my worries. 

Also, I’ve seen his arms. He’s a lot more buff than you might think. 

It’s pretty hot.

_Ahem._

Within a few minutes, Leorio, Gon, and Killua have exited the stadium, and they rejoin with Kurapika and I in the hall. 

“Gon and I are going up ahead.” Killua says firmly, before I can say anything. 

“We both got floor 50!” Gon says to us, brandishing his little ticket at us. “Okay, let’s go, Killua!”

Hey, wait, everything’s moving too fast. And isn’t someone going to ask me how I’m feeling?

“Bella, are you feeling better?” 

I can always count on Leorio to check on me. “Yes, much better.” 

“That’s good.” And then, a little sheepishly… “Would you mind it if I went up ahead, too?”

Kurapika arches a brow. “What floor did they place you at?”

“Floor 30.” Leorio stares proudly at his ticket. “I want to catch up to Gon and Killua as fast as possible.” 

“Wait, so-” I look around. “It’s just Kurapika and I left?”

“I’m sorry, Bella.” Leorio says with sincerity. “Would you like me to stay?”

 _Of course, you idiot._ But I swallow my neediness. 

“No, it’s okay. You should move up ahead. I mean, you’ll probably have another match.”

Leorio smiles gratefully at me, and it tugs at my heartstrings.

And then they’re waving, Leorio, Gon, and even Killua, as they walk away.

The three of them follow a little boy with a buzz cut and martial arts uniform into an elevator, and before I know it, the doors have closed.

Wait, a buzz cut and martial arts uniform?

Zushi? 

Of course, he was here too… does this mean Mr. Wing is on the 50th floor right now? My thoughts are confused, jumbled. How will the canon play out now?

“I’m sure they’ll broadcast the matches on one of the televisions.” Kurapika tells me, noticing my worried face. “Shall we rejoin the first floor?”

I can’t help but turn back worriedly towards the elevator.

This is okay… right?

xXxXx

When Kurapika’s number is called for a rematch, he disables his opponent within the first minute.

It’s perhaps not as eloquent as Killua’s match, nor as abrupt as Gon’s, but Kurapika’s calm assuredness on the platform is extremely attractive. He accepts his ticket, and walks off the ring with a flourish.

“Have you still not been called, Bella?” Kurapika asks as he takes a seat next to me. Now that it’s just him and I together, I can feel a blanket of awkwardness settle around us. How am I supposed to talk to this guy?

“Tha-that’s right.” My voice comes out in a squeak. Damn it. I haven’t gotten used to that, either.

“Hmm.” Kurapika turns his ticket over in his hand. “I’ve gotten floor 40.”

“40?” I ask in surprise. “I thought you’d get 50, too…”

He shakes his head. “No, I think not. He managed to block my first attack.”

“He did? I didn’t see it.”

“Well, it’s my own fault. I was distracted.”

“By what?” I probe.

“It’s nothing.” I can tell by his tone of voice that he does not plan on sharing the cause of his distraction, and decide not to press the issue any further.

I sigh, and lean back. The pain from my first match has mostly faded away from the help of the ibuprofen, but that leftover pain added on to my other, Killua-induced injury makes for an unpleasant middle section. Like a bad case of period cramps, but make that twenty times worse.

In a sudden move, Kurapika reaches around me, picking up the end of my braided hair. I startle as he holds the pink strands in his hand, examining it.

“I noticed that earlier that you braided your hair. But I’ve been wondering, what are these?”

He gestures to the cotton tampons that dangle off the string which is keeping the braid in place. My face flushes. _Crap_.

“They’re… tampons.” I manage to get out, my voice squeaking as it does when I get into these kinds of situations.

“A tampon?” Kurapika pauses a moment, and then, for the first time, he seems… embarrassed?

He drops my hair immediately and turns away.

“You know what they are?” I venture out to say.

“Well, I can guess.” Kurapika says stiffly.

I’m caught between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry. Dear god, Kurapika’s reaction to a tampon… priceless.

“How about we discuss a strategy for your match?” Kurapika smoothly transitions the conversation, as I struggle to hold back my laughter. But his words bring back reality and the momentary fun fades away.

“Oh, right. Yeah…”

“I will be completely honest with you, Bella, I think you would have to be extremely lucky to get a win.” Kurapika begins. “Your abilities are less than competent.”

Ouch. That _stings._

“However. There is one special thing about you that I think you can take advantage of.”

Something special? About _me?_ I sit up expectantly. 

“Bella, you always surprise me. That’s what makes you special--it’s nearly impossible to guess what you’ll do next.”

Is it a compliment, or is it not? I reflect on his statement.

“So… you’re saying that I should… surprise my opponent?” I don’t fully grasp what he’s trying to tell me. “Isn’t that just, like, common sense?”

“Well, yes. But knowing you, I thought you might not have considered common sense.”

_Wow, rude._

“I feel like this wasn’t helpful at all.” I mutter. Using surprise? How can I…

“Number 2056 and Number…”

My own number is called out over the loudspeaker and I jolt to my feet. Already?

Kurapika gives me the smallest of smiles.

“Good luck.”

xXxXx

_Use surprise. Use surprise. Use surprise…_

As I make my way down the stands, I’m imbued with slightly more confidence and determination than I was before. In my head, this is my last chance to prove myself. I _can_ be a member of this group and be helpful. I _can_ take down my opponent.

 _Use surprise_.

I piece together a plan.

My match this time is in Ring C, and when I climb up on to the platform I’m met with my new opponent. He looks far less scary than the last, and while I still have a pit in my stomach, it’s a considerably smaller pit.

Hey, maybe I actually _can_ do this. 

The referee goes over his mandatory lines, and then…

“Begin!”

Before my opponent gets the chance to throw a blow my way, I flop face-first on the floor.

See, when my sister and I would play on the trampoline when we were younger, I used to flop face-down on the trampoline pad, to both annoy her and to prevent her from bouncing me around.

And perhaps, this strategy could be applied here…

My arms, chest, and stomach slam onto the hard floor of the platform, knocking some of the wind out of me and irritating my already sensitive torso.

“This isn’t against the rules, right?” I ask the referee, my voice a little muffled and out of breath from being squished up pancake-style against the dingy mat. 

“Err, it isn’t…” the referee trails off, uncertain. 

“Why are you on the floor? Get up, you piece of shit!” My opponent yells, but he sounds… confused. This must be what Kurapika was talking about!

This is how you use the element of surprise!

“See, the great thing about me being on the floor is that you can’t knock me off the platform like this.” I say cheerily, and, imitating a worm, I start wiggling towards him. By planting myself on the ground like this, I’ve minimized the amount of space on my body that he has to attack me.

I’m basically a genius!

“You--you little--gah!” He does something I don’t expect, and his boot clamps down on my back.

“OH CRAP THAT HURTS YEOOOOWCH!” The words flow out all at once, but I maintain my pancake form. It hurts, but… not as much as Killua’s injury did. 

This is something I can handle.

“Shut up!” He roars, rearing back the boot again. When the boot hits the highest point of its arc, I spot my chance. 

I pull myself up, and--

“Take this! Portabella’s super-duper-crotch-hit!”

If I’ve learned anything from my time with shonen anime, it’s that an attack gets ten times more powerful if you call out its name first. So I make sure to give my attack a perfectly adequate name as I sail my pointed elbow into the man’s crotch.

Adrenaline floods me as he topples over the side of the platform, two hands clutched over his privates. He hits the ground below, groaning.

_I did it!_

Kurapika was right--the element of surprise works!

I can hear the crowd cheering, and while it may not be for me, my ego takes it as a gift anyway. I stagger on my feet, rubbing at the spot on my back where I suspect he’s left a large, dusty boot-print, and hold my hand out expectantly to the referee.

This referee stares at me in awe, and then jumps to click in some numbers on the ticket machine that he’s holding.

“Right, you can proceed to the 20th floor.”

He presses the freshly-printed ticket into my hand, and I gaze at it for a few moments.

“Thank you, sir!” I tell him, and give him a little bow for good measure--then I bolt off the platform, beelining for the seats where Kurapika sits in wait.

When I arrive, he looks on the verge of laughter.

“Kurapika, I used your advice! It worked! The element of surprise is great!”

He doesn’t respond, he’s too busy chortling behind his hand.

“Hey, what’s funny?” I demand.

“Bella… yet again… you’ve surprised me. I didn’t think that you’d flatten yourself on the ring like that.”

“Well, it worked, didn’t it?”

He stands up and pats me on the head, as if I were an unruly child. “That’s true.”

“I’m going to floor 20.” I tell him as we maneuver our way out of the seats. 

“That’s good.” Kurapika says. “But here is where it’s going to be difficult, you know. If you lose a match on the 20th floor, you’ll be dropped down to the tenth. That’s how Heavens Arena works.”

I squeeze the ticket in my hand.

“I’ve got some more confidence now. I think I can do it!”

“That’s good.”

By now we've reached the hallway with the elevators, and I turn to look at my companion.

“Hey, do you still doubt me?” I ask him. 

“Mm.” Kurapika doesn’t properly respond, only presses the call button for the elevator.

As we wait for the doors to open, I glance at a clock mounted on the wall. A lot more time has passed since we first arrived here than I thought…

The double doors for the elevator open, and Kurapika and I move inside.

The elevator attendant inside gives us a business smile, her fingers hovering over the elevator keypad. “Which floor?”

Kurapika looks at me. “I’ll drop you off at floor 20. And then, floor 40 for me.”

The attendant punches in the number. “Would you like to hear more about Heavens Aren--”

“That’s alright.” Kurapika dismisses her with a hand before she can finish speaking. She looks a little hurt, and I can’t help but give her a sympathetic look.

Within a minute, we’re deposited on floor twenty, but when I go to leave the elevator, Kurapika keeps himself inside.

“You’ll probably be assigned one more match today,” he tells me. “And then that’ll likely be it until tomorrow. Can you handle it?”

“Yes, I’ll do my best!” I make an enthusiastic fist. “Wait… Tomorrow?”

Hold on, I didn’t even think this through. Where are we going to be staying while we’re here? Private rooms aren’t provided until the 100th floor! And what about food?

“I’ll come back and get you later tonight, with Leorio and the others. Don’t worry too much, alright, Bella?”

“Hey, wait--!”

“Excuse me, sir, we should probably let the elevator move now?” The attendant says hesitantly. Kurapika ignores her again.

“The others probably have a fight or so left before the matches are over for the night. Wait for us then.”

I nod.

“Just… don’t leave me alone, okay?” I call out as he retreats fully into the elevator.

“I already promised you, Bella. I won’t, yet.”

The doors close. 

It seems like the first floor was only the beginning.

And now I must tackle this floor alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh... hi!  
> First off-canon chapter, and already I've realized I'm a bit shit at writing fights. I'll aim for improvement. In the anime, the details of Heavens Arena are left very vague, so I've taken a few things to my own interpretation.  
> Well, that's it. Happy 2021, by the way! (Yes, I'm a bit late).


	16. Chicken wings and Mr. Wing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the gang eats fried chicken and speaks to a certain someone.

I don’t know what I was expecting.

Thrown into a match on the twentieth floor with my only experience occurring, like, twenty minutes ago, what happens next is inevitable.

I lost.

I’ll spare you the second-hand embarrassment of the details for both of our sakes--just know that by the time Kurapika and the rest find me huddled up just outside the 20th floor bathrooms, I have a brand new black eye decorating my face and all of my insides feel more shaken up than a Wendy’s Frosty.

“Hello there.” I say glumly, peeking up at the posse which has arrived to greet me. They all look in remarkably better shape than I--Killua and Gon haven’t even broken a sweat. Kurapika and Leorio have shed their outer layers (Leorio’s unbuttoned the top of his collared shirt and  _ don’t _ ask me why I notice), but otherwise they look in decent shape.

“How did you do, Bella?” Leorio bends down to take a better look at my face. “Hey, your eye--”

“I did  _ amazingly _ .” I say and push off my feet.

“Really--?” 

“No, not really.” I counter glumly and gesture heavily at my blackened eye. “Take a wild guess at what happened.”

“Bella, are you sure you want to continue?” Kurapika asks after quickly appraising my injuries. “If you don’t want to keep going, you don’t have to. What are you even fighting for?”

_ What am I fighting for? _ I feel like I’ve been asked this question before...

“I told you. I want to get stronger, and I don’t want to be a burden on all of you.”

It’s the truth--I don’t want to be whiny bitch Bella anymore. I want to be…  _ slightly-stronger-but-still-somewhat-of-a-whiny-bitch-Bella _ . 

“I understand.” says Kurapika, and then he gestures towards the elevator down at the end of the hall. “Well, shall we?”

“Shall we… what?” I stare at him blankly.

“Let’s go. Aren’t you hungry? We should get something to eat.”

“Mmm… yeah, you’re right.” I say, almost surprised. As someone who once considered food to be the ultimate love of my life, it comes as a bit of a shock that I can hardly remember the last time that I ate. Is Bella’s small body less needy than my old one? 

Anyway, food sounds amazing right now. I’d like to eat away all of the embarrassing memories of the losing match I’d just stumbled out of. 

“Okay.” I say, only to remember my current monetary situation. “Wait, hold on, I don’t have any money--”

At this, Gon cheekily grins and holds up a small yellow manila envelope. Killua follows suit a moment later, and then suddenly all four of the boys are showing off their identical envelopes. 

“You got one of these when you passed the first floor, right?” Leorio says, an excited gleam in his eyes. 

“I did?” Now that I think about it, I remember receiving a little yellow envelope packet when I registered on the 20th floor--my winnings. I retrieve it from my pants pocket and shake it open, and a few coins tumble out into my small palm. It’s hardly enough for a drink at the vending machine... 

Not even one of the good drinks, like peach juice. I think this could only get me one of those miniature water bottles that kind of taste salty and just end up making you  _ more thirsty… _

“Uhh, I don’t think I have enough for anything…” I mumble sheepishly.

“I mean, I guess I’ll  _ have _ to treat you.” Killua says, puffing up his chest as he shakes his own envelope. “Since Gon and I made it up so many floors, we’ve got plenty of money.”

What a show-offy kid. I’m not sure if I even want to be in his debt.

“Don’t worry about it, Bella. We’ll split the costs.” Kurapika assures me. “And unless you want to sleep on the floor of the bathroom, we should go and find a place to rest for the night, too.”

“That’ll cost more money, though…” I say cautiously. 

“You worry too much, Bella!” Gon tells me. I kind of awkwardly nod towards him. I guess my past life’s penny-pinching tendencies are beginning to seep through. 

“So what’re we gonna get for dinner? I could  _ really _ go for some YFC.” Leorio chimes in, waving the envelope next to his ear with a gleeful expression gracing his face. 

“Yeah, YFC’s good.” Killua says, actually agreeing with Leorio on something. “I want a whole basket to myself.”

“Hey, Killua! You should leave some for me!” Gon huffs. “I want a basket too!”

“Wanna race eating chicken?” Killua’s eyes light up as he gets excited. “Whoever loses has to pay!”

But all the while, I’m just confused. What are they talking about?  _ YFC? YFC? What the hell is YFC?  _

“Let’s head out then.” Kurapika interjects. He slips into the role of leadership naturally, and without thinking too much about it, the rest of us oblige, following his lead. 

We pile into the elevator that takes us down the levels, with me all the while thinking in my head. 

_ What on earth is YFC? _

xXxXx

It’s chicken.

_ Fucking  _ Kentucky Fried Chicken _. _

Or as the sign affixed to the top of the building describes it, it’s “ _ Yorknew Fried Chicken _ .” But the name change doesn’t alter the Colonel’s familiar face leering down at me from the building illuminated in the darkness.

“What. The. Hell. Is. This.” I speak through my teeth, trying to perceive what I’m looking at. It’s KFC, but it isn’t… KFC, but it isn’t… 

“Don’t say you’ve never heard of YFC?” Leorio sounds aghast at the suggestion.

“Stop lazing around, Porty.” Killua says, already pushing open the glass doors. “Come on.”

I take a few steps inside, but the interior is just… too normal. Everything in the Hunter x Hunter verse that I’ve seen so far has been so  _ not _ -normal that this almost one-to-one replica of an average suburban KFC joint is genuinely shocking me.

It’s also so weirdly normal for us to stand in line, musing over the menu.

“What do you guys want?” Leorio asks eagerly, salivating at all of the chicken in front of us. “Should we share a bucket?”

“I’m not sharing with you.” Killua argues back. “Aren’t Gon and I paying? Since we’re much higher up than  _ you.” _

“Why, you little--”

I almost have to laugh. How have we veered so off canon that we’re standing in a bootleg KFC arguing over which chicken to get? God, this is so  _ weird. _

“Gon and I are racing chicken baskets, so get one for each of us.” Killua orders Leorio, acting as if he’s the elder one in this situation. 

“Chicken tenders for me, please.” Kurapika says.

“And I guess I’ll go for some wings.” I add, peeking up at the menu. It’s been a hot minute since I last went to a KFC, and some of the menu items look a little different.

I mean, what am I saying? This is YFC, not KFC. 

“So… two buckets… some tenders…and some wings...” at the moment, Leorio sounds like a dad wrangling his kids at an amusement park. “Okay, I’ll order.”

“Let’s find a seat.” Kurapika says.

I point out a booth in the corner of the room. “How about there?”  
We cram into it, with me shoved into the very corner, Kurapika on one side and Gon on the other. Killua sits on the other side of Gon and the two immediately engage in a conversation, retreating into that little world of their own that no one else can penetrate. 

As I settle into my cramped seat, I gaze around at this weirdly nostalgic interior.

Sure, this place is odd, but the more I think about it, the less I’m surprised. All the time in anime you see “WcDonalds” and other off-brand companies to avoid copyright… hell, in Hunter x Hunter’s Greed Island Arc we had the JoyStation, which was a clear allusion to the PlayStation… so maybe a “YFC” really isn’t that far off. 

Who knows what other kinds of bootleg brands I’ll run into next. 

Soon enough Leorio carries over a tray of our meal, and the smell is so nostalgic that I have to do a double take. The scent of all eleven of the Colonel’s secret herbs and spices invade my nostrils, taking me back to my childhood. Never did I think the day would come that I would feel nostalgic over a bowl of KFC--err, I mean, YFC...

Actually, I never thought the day would come that I would be in the freaking Hunter x Hunter universe. There’s been a lot of firsts for me lately, that’s for sure.

It takes me a while before I even start eating, since it’s quite interesting to watch the others eat. Gon and Killua shovel food into their mouths like there’s no tomorrow, faces strewn with sauce as they compete in a little race. Meanwhile, Kurapika eats his chicken tenders carefully, dignified. If there was a way to eat fried chicken gracefully, Kurapika’s got it down.

Well, I should probably dig in already. I move to grab one of the chicken wings...

Chicken wings.

Chicken--

“THAT’S IT!” my companions at the table freeze, chicken in hand at my sudden outburst. 

“What’s it?” Leorio asks, a chicken tender hovering near his mouth.

“Wings! Chicken wings! Mr. Wing!” It’s hard for me to articulate my newfound revelation.

“What?” Killua, uninterested, resumes eating.

“Who’s Mr. Wing?” Leorio asks, lost.

In my head, I sort out the timeline of the anime that I remember. Some things (actually, a lot of things) have changed with my intrusion in the canon, but I think this part has still remained the same. “Killua, you fought a boy named Zushi on the 50th floor, didn’t you?”

“Yeah…”

“And did you happen to see his master?” 

Recognition clicks in Killua’s eyes. “The four-eyes.” he says. 

“Four--four eyes?” asks Leorio, and his eyes focus self-consciously on the little glasses that slide to the end of his nose.

“Yes… he’s Mr. Wing… ah, why didn’t I think about this before!” I sigh.

Next to me, Kurapika takes a breath and deposits a chicken bone into a disposable napkin. “So, Bella, what about this Mr. Wing person is so important?”

I dart eyes across each of my companions. Is it still too early? I mean, in the anime--

Eh, screw the anime. Considering the amount of changes I’ve already made, surely it doesn’t hurt to push nen into the narrative a little ahead of schedule. 

With my decision made, I speak.

“He’s the secret to giving me--and all of us---tons of power. We can make it up to floor 100--hell, we can go all the way to the top.”

“Really? He just seemed like a four-eyes to me.” Killua says, but he seems interested, since he ever so slightly slows down his chicken-eating crusade. “But then again, Zushi…”

“The one with the eyebrows?” Leorio asks, clarifying. “I watched that match on the monitors! But you still defeated him, didn’t you, Killua?”

Killua drops a chicken bone on the table, his expression transforming. “Yeah. If you can call it that. But I couldn’t knock him out. Still--I’m much stronger than him. He’s just target practice. I can throw him around easily.”

“Well--if you’ll just trust me--I promise you that Mr. Wing can make us all stronger.” I say to the table.

“He’ll make me stronger?” Gon ponders, staring at his own hand with a momentarily blank face. “Then let’s go meet him, right now!”  
“Whaa--hey, not right now!” Leorio quickly cuts in as Gon stands up at the table. Just as always, determination sits in his wide eyes, and a weird chill goes through my spine. 

“Yeah, calm down--we’ll go and find him tomorrow…” I trail off. “Well, I’m not sure if he’ll really teach us. We need to convince him.”

“I can do that.” Killua says confidently. “I’ll get him to teach us. Whatever he taught Zushi.”

“Shouldn’t Bella speak to him? She brought this up.” Kurapika suggests. “Although, I’m unclear what you say he will teach us. What kind of strength?”

“Zushi called it  _ Ren _ , I think.” Killua says. “It made him have… a really threatening aura. Kind of like…” He trails off, and I know he thinks of Illumi from the way his face darkens.

I clear my throat. “In any case, let’s go and talk with him tomorrow.”

“But, Bella, how do you know about Mr. Wing?” Gon inquires.

“That’s true. How do you know that this-- _ Ren _ thing is gonna make us stronger?” Leorio adds.

“Uhh…” Oops--I’ve wound myself into another corner.

“So, you see… Um… Ahh… Err…”

“The same way she knows anything else, probably.” Killua rolls his eyes. “Porty, I’m starting to think you’re a stalker or something.”

“Don’t call me Porty!” I screech.

“Oh, but you’re not denying the stalker bit?”

I can’t think of a response, and instead stuff a piece of chicken into my mouth. 

Killua laughs, and then so does the rest of the table. I know they’re laughing at my expense, and I hide my face as I cram in some more chicken into my mouth. Ah...

“So, tomorrow, before our matches.” Kurapika says decisively. “We’ll go and speak to Mr. Wing. Where can we find him?”

“The 50th floor.” Killua interjects. “Zushi’s definitely made his way back up. Four-eyes’ll be there too.”

I nod in agreement. “Tomorrow it is.”

“Now that we’ve got that sorted out, can we go back to eating?” Leorio says, a little grumpily.

And so we turn back to the food at hand, stuffing our stomachs with chicken until we can’t eat any more.

xXxXx

Leorio surprises us all by managing to find us a cheap motel room for only a couple thousand Jenny. Sure, it’s a little dingy, and it’s only got two queen-size beds, but it’s a much better alternative to Gon’s earlier proposal of sleeping on the floor at Heaven’s Arena, or Killua’s absurd ‘Let’s just stay awake the whole time.’

Seriously, these kids are crazy.

Anyway, the boys divide up the motel room’s limited space naturally, with Gon and Killua taking the bed closest to the door and Kurapika and Leorio claiming the one near the window. It seems like a situation straight out of a fanfic, but they don’t seem to think sharing a bed is a big deal at all, to my great dismay...

As for me, I end up on a dingy futon placed on the floor. The futon smells a bit of sweat and something else, but the sheets are clean, I think. At least, there’s no stains that I can see, and I’d rather not look too closely.

There’s also a bathroom connected to our room, which I rush for once the futon is made. The water in the shower is barely even warm, but I relish in the clean feeling and take my time to scrub all the yucky dirt out of my body and hair. 

After my shower, I run my only set of clothes under the faucet to clean them and use a loud blow dryer to get it as dry as I can. Killua is yapping through the door as I do this, complaining about how it’s  _ his turn _ next, but I drown him out by upping the noise level on the blow dryer.

After I shimmy back into the shirt and pants, I note that I should probably buy some more clothing soon. Maybe when I get more money from Heaven’s Arena. Financial freedom in this universe… I wonder how the sales tax is here.

But all that’s  _ if  _ I get more money from Heaven’s Arena. At the moment, things aren’t too promising--but hopefully learning nen from Wing will improve my chances.

“Took you long enough.” Killua grumbles as I finally step out of the bathroom with clean clothes and clean hair. He whizzes inside and slams the door rudely behind him.

Ahh, kids and their attitudes.

I return to my futon and flop down. What a weird day. Weird week. Weird month. Weird however-long-I’ve-been-here. Ahh, I miss my old life… 

It’s best to shut these thoughts away before they snowball more, so I instead turn my attention to Leorio--but at the wrong moment, because he’s currently changing. Ah, he looks nice shirtless… 

I realize what I’m doing and turn away quickly, holding back a blush.

Gah, I’m an idiot. 

“I’m going to sleep now!” I announce to no one in particular and slide into the sheets, pulling the covers over my face in embarrassment. 

“Oh, g’night, Bella!” Leorio calls out.

“Sleep well.” Kurapika says.

“Good night!” Gon chirps.

_ Good night.  _ And within moments, drowsiness pulls me away.

xXxXx

Things are hectic in the morning.

I wake up to a shoe being flung at my face and the sound of Kurapika and Leorio arguing over something.

“It’s not my fault you took up so much space--”

“No, you’re the one who was taking up space--!”

Another shoe hits me squarely in the face and I pray that I haven’t just received another black eye. It’s a green boot--I eye Gon with narrowed eyes.

“Whoops!” Gon says gleefully, prancing over to retrieve his shoes. I rub the sleep out of my eyes and push out of the futon. 

“What time is it… we should head to the arena…” I hold back a yawn. Gah, it’s early. From out the window, there’s the faintest glimmer of sunshine on the horizon. The others seem to be in varying stages of being ready to go.

I braid my hair, passively observing the others. It’s not the first morning I’ve woken up in their company--I’ve spent most, if not all, of my time with this group since the moment of my arrival. And yet--there’s a level of comfort I can observe right now that wasn’t always there. The chemistry in this group is so clear in front of me, so comfortable and warm. I don’t remember it being this way in the anime, but here it is. 

And I’m gonna protect this feeling for as long as I can.

“Alright, let’s go.” Leorio says, his voice bringing me out of my thoughts. He grabs his briefcase from the nightstand and slips on his shoes, a small pep in his step.

“Yes, sir!” I say with some matching enthusiasm.

And with that, we’re back on the street. Daylight creeps up on us as we take on the small walk to the towering Heaven’s Arena, bypassing the freakishly long line with a few quick flashes of our match tickets.

“So, where are we gonna find this Wing guy?” Leorio asks once we step inside the now-familiar building. As it’s the morning, there’s far less people in here than there were yesterday, and we aren’t given so much as a second glance from the others. 

“I told you, stupid. Floor 50 or something.” Killua mutters. 

“Don’t call me stupid, you--” Leorio waves his fist a bit. In turn, Killua sticks his tongue out, and I laugh a little.

It’s interesting to see these two react to each other. Come to think of it, I can barely remember any of their interactions from the 2011 anime. Did they even? From what I remember, Killua had mostly stuck around Gon. 

“We’ll start at floor 50, and keep looking until we find him.” Kurapika says, thinking logically as always.

“Alright! Let’s do it!” Gon’s overly enthusiastic for some reason, and he hops around, revitalizing the rest of us with some of his energy. I’m ready to agree and follow, but there’s a little problem I need to address before that…

“Er, do any of you mind if I slip off to the bathroom?” I ask awkwardly. All of the chicken from last night hadn’t really settled properly in my stomach, and I need to get to a toilet ASAP.

“Ugh, then let’s just go ahead, okay, Gon?” Killua turns to his green friend. “We’ll find Wing first and ask him. Who needs Porty anyway.”

“Fine then! Go ahead if you want, I’ll meet you on the 50th floor.” I wave them off, thinking that I’ll catch up as soon as I’m done. Gahd, I need to  _ shit… _

Once I see acknowledgement of this plan in my companions’ eyes, I spin around and beeline straight for the women’s restroom on this floor, making it just on time.

Ahh. This is nice.

I relieve myself of the discomfort and freshen up at the sink. Now that I can think clearly again, I feel like a new woman. It’s wonders what a simple crap can do to you. 

With my newly cleared head, I exit the bathroom and brainstorm what I should say when I run into Mr. Wing. 

“It’s not as if I can just stroll up and say, ‘Hey Mr. Wing, I think you’re super hot! Teach me Nen please!” I say amusedly out loud to myself. 

“Ah, did you have something to say to me?”

I shudder out of my trance and do a double-take. From the men’s bathroom just next door emerges a man with glasses and an untucked button-up shirt. I recognize him immediately… what unfortunate timing.

“M--Mr. Wing!” I stutter nervously, backing away from him slightly. Shoot, did he hear what I just said? That’s… extremely embarrassing. I mean, I do actually think he’s quite good looking, but… No! That’s not the point.

“Pleasure to meet you. You’re Portabella, right?” Mr. Wing speaks smoothly and even holds out a hand to shake mine. I accept it with a slight tremble.

“Uh… how do you know my name?” Normally, I’m the one knowing other people’s names before they tell me, but somehow, Wing’s usurped that role from me.

“I’ve seen your matches on the televisions.” Wing responds with a placid smile. “You have a very, ah… unique fighting style, don’t you?”

I cringe back to my pancake-methods of my match.

“Yes… that’s me, um…”

I’m quite nervous here, all by myself with the handsome Mr. Wing. Gon, Killua, Leorio and Kurapika must have gone up to the 50th floor while I was taking a dump, as per my request, but that leaves me here to talk to him alone.

“Where’s Zushi?” I ask.

“He’s preparing for his next match, on floor 50.”  _ Then, the others have probably found him… _ “So, was there something you wanted to discuss with me?”

“That’s right! Yes. Umm… Osu!” I cross my arms in front of me, just as I remember it from the anime.

I see amusement in Wing’s eyes as he watches me.

“That is… it’s about, um…  _ nen _ …” I trail off and watch Wing’s face. His glasses do that dramatic anime-character thing where a glare hits the lenses and I can’t see his eyes. I wonder what expression he makes behind them.

“When Zushi was fighting with Killua, you know… he was, um…” My thoughts are all jumbled--clearly I should have thought this through before I opened my mouth. “You see, I want to get stronger, and--”

Wing cuts me off before I finish my sentence. “I apologize, but that’s not something I can teach you.”

“What do you mean? I know that you’re a nen teacher… a great one… so can’t you take up a few extra students? Gon and Killua have so much potential. Kurapika is strong and determined. Leorio… is, uhh... a quick learner. It’ll be worth the time, I promise you.”

“Your friends, perhaps. But what about you?”

I freeze. “Well… if you don’t try to teach me, then I’ll just learn it on my own.”  _ It can’t be that hard, right? It’s just like… meditation. And some other things.  _

“That’s not a very good idea. It’s dangerous if nen is not learned properly.” Wing says. “How do you know about it?”

_ It’s the power system in the anime I watched before I got isekaid into its world _ . That would be the truthful answer, but I’m obviously not going to say it.

“That’s a secret.” I answer. “And like I said, I’ll just learn it on my own if you refuse me. I know the basics. There’s  _ ren… ten… zetsu…  _ and  _ hatsu.” _

Wing sighs slightly and adjusts the glasses on his face. He seems to be thinking it over.

“Very well, Portabella. It seems I cannot resist the gleaming eyes of a potential student.”

Elation fills me. Have I done it? Am I really going to get to learn nen now? Will the evolution of Bella finally commence?

With nen on my side, I know I can do it. I can bridge that stupid power gap between my weak body and all of my opponents.

And I can prove that my existence in this world is for a reason.

“Look, it seems as if your friends are back.” Wing says with an amused smile. I turn, seeing a group of people run out of the elevator and head our way. Accompanied by a little boy in a buzz cut and a martial arts uniform, Leorio, Kurapika, Gon, and Killua come to a stop next to the bathrooms where Wing and I are speaking.

“Bella! We ran into Zushi and he said Mr. Wing was down here. Did you talk to him?” Gon asks me, bubbly as ever.

I nod and beam at him. Ah, I’m so ecstatic. My brain right now is just screaming  _ NEN NEN NEN! _ I wonder what nen type I’ll be. Ooh, will I get to come up with my own special attack? 

“This is Wing?” Leorio asks, inspecting the man in question. 

“Yes, I am Wing. And you must be Leorio.”

Leorio is a little taken aback, but he rubs his nose and stands up proudly. “Yeah, that’s me!”

“And let’s see. Kurapika, Gon, and Killua. And hello, Zushi. How were your preparations?”

“Osu!” Zushi calls in response, crossing his arms. “It was good!”

Seeing everyone in front of me, I can’t hold back my excitement. “Wing says he’ll teach us!” I exclaim.

“Really, Porty?” Killua says, genuine surprise on his face. “Wow, didn’t think you could--”

“Forgive me for interrupting.” Mr. Wing says calmly, “but I’m afraid that wasn’t the agreement.”

And just like that, my spirits sink.

“Huh? But didn’t you say--”

“Yes, Portabella, I said I’d teach you. But as for your friends… if they’d like my guidance, I’d like to hear it from their mouths, not yours.”

Killua rolls his eyes, shoots me a glare, and then steps up in front of Wing with his hands laced behind his head as if he’s done this hundreds of times before.

“Then, teach Gon and I.”

“And me!” Leorio hastily adds in.

“Don’t leave me out as well--I’m not sure what it is that you teach, but I’d like to learn.” says Kurapika. “I trust Bella’s judgement.”

“And I want to know it as soon as I can. This thing, it's the secret behind my brother’s power.” Killua continues. “Ren, or whatever it is.”

“Mm. So, your brother is able to use Nen.” Wing says.

“Nen, Ren, whatever. I’m going to surpass my brother, and everyone else too. So teach it to me.” Killua says it, not as a question, but as a demand, hardened determination in his catlike eyes.

Silence hangs in the air for a moment after Killua finishes, and then the anime-style glare passes over Wing’s glasses again and he makes a sort of grimace.

“I understand. I’ll teach you. All of you.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! 
> 
> My laptop broke a couple weeks ago in the middle of my supposed internet break, but luckily I managed to shake the thing back alive. Perhaps I should invest in a new one. But because of that, I've just kind of ignored Don't Leave, my apologies! (Don't I say this every month?)
> 
> Speaking of, we're coming up on the one year anniversary. Crazy, crazy. I swear it's just yesterday that I decided to sit down and write this nonsense. It's still nonsense.
> 
> Exciting things are happening in the world of Portabella. This chapter was hard to write (although every chapter is hard to write, really) but what's coming up next has got me insanely excited. No, Bella's unfortunately not going to turn OP or anything, but all the creativity that comes with the nen system is just... such fun. Togashi, you're incredible.
> 
> Now here's a curious something I learned last year. In Japan, it's become a tradition to buy KFC for Christmas dinner. I don't know why, but that's how it is. And as I was thinking about the oh-lovely KFC, inspiration struck. I assume that Hunter x Hunter is set in some parallel universe to our own (JoyStation being one example, and I remember a "Woogle" from the 1999 version). So why not throw a KFC in there?  
> Apologies if this decision is a little weird. I think I was just craving some wings. 
> 
> Heaven's Arena's description in the anime has always perplexed me, since the world building was never really fleshed out there (and I haven't read the manga...) So a lot of the small things that the characters experience are part of my own interpretation.
> 
> So hopefully you decide to stick with me--and the adventures of Portabella shall continue as soon as I can prevent my laptop from having a stroke whenever I type on it.
> 
> Have a restful rest of your February!


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